What Pales in Comparison
by FanficwriterGHC
Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of Countdown.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: Okay, so, I really should have put out a chapter of **_**Rock Foundation **_**instead of writing this, but this idea has been swimming around in my head for a few days, and I got the opportunity to put it to print, so I thought I would. It's a one shot (for now?). I'm sure that it won't resemble anything we see in 3X18, but this is how it panned out for me: **

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**Kate sighed and sat down at her desk. Josh was in the bathroom, and she let her head fall into her hands, staring at _his _chair. He'd looked so crestfallen when he'd left and she felt like something had been taken from them in that moment. She had wanted to hear whatever he'd wanted to say, even if it had just been a joke.

She heard the men's room door shut and looked up as Josh approached, holding her coat out for her. "Do you need to stay, or are you free to go relax?" he asked.

Kate gave him a tired smile. "Montgomery wants us to take the rest of the night and tomorrow off."

"Do you want food?" he asked as he held her coat out to her.

She stood slowly and shook her head. "We had pizza," she gestured into the room where the guys and Captain were cleaning up and getting ready to head home. She gave the team a wave and smiled as they waved back.

"So, movie? Bed? Bath? You must be exhausted."

He guided her to the elevator and Kate suppressed a sigh. "A bit, yeah," she conceded. He still didn't know the full extent of what had happened. She'd told him that there was a terror scare, but he didn't know that she'd been in front of the bomb, a second from a horrible death. He just knew that she'd been running full tilt, and was probably still suffering from the hypothermia.

"Why don't we go back to your place and relax? I bet you could do with a bath and some sweats." He kissed her temple and wrapped an arm around her.

She nodded absent-mindedly and let herself be put into a taxi. They were silent in the cab and Kate let her mind wander, reliving the past few days, past few hours. They'd been so happy that they weren't dead that everything had seemed rather light, but now the reality of how close they'd come was crashing back down on her and she felt heavy. Josh's arm around her shoulders and his face in her hair felt like a straight jacket. The cab seemed small. The noises of the traffic were too loud.

"You okay?" Josh asked quietly a few minutes later.

"Oh, yeah," Kate brushed him off. "Tired, you know. Hell of a day." The words had slipped from her mouth without a second thought and she instantly felt a piece of her resolve begin to crumble.

She kept it together as they got to her building and rode up to apartment. She let them in and hung up her coat. "Do you mind if I take a shower? I just…I need to feel clean."

Josh smiled. "Of course. You sure you don't need some, ah, help getting clean?" he asked lightly.

Kate resisted the urge to roll her eyes and shook her head. "I need a little quiet," she offered.

He seemed to accept this and sprawled himself on her couch. Kate all but hurtled herself into her bedroom and through to the bathroom. She collapsed against the closed door and leaned her head on the wood, her arms wrapped around her body. Her breathing was coming in short gasps and she felt tears sliding down her cheeks. She scrubbed angrily at her face until she gave up and realized that she would just have to ride it out.

She turned on the shower to scalding and stripped out of her clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor. She got in and let the water hit her body, allowing herself to double over and sob, knowing Josh was probably watching TV, and the shower would muffle her breakdown.

Things very rarely had this much of an effect on her. Her mother's case, certainly, but most other cases didn't even penetrate the neatly organized boxes in her mind. But this, this was just too much. Facing death twice in the past 24 hours, afraid that she'd die without doing everything she'd planned—without telling the people who were important how much they really meant, was too much. That she'd leave her father alone in the world. That Castle would have left Alexis and Martha alone in the world.

Suddenly she was gasping, a new wave of post-terror washing over her. Castle! What if? What if she'd been responsible for taking him away from his daughter? What if he was gone and she couldn't be there for the girl, like she'd promised she would be? His family didn't deserve that. _He_ didn't deserve that. She sank to the floor, still sitting under the hot water, her body simply giving way.

The amount of emotions they'd shared in that final 15 seconds could have filled a thousand books and a million pictures. There was so much that she'd wished she'd had the time to say, the time to do. Standing there, thinking that they'd never get to do any of them…

And then he'd saved them and the first thing she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and never let go. No one had ever held her as tightly as he had in that moment, before the joy burst through them and they were laughing and doing victory dances.

Her mind wandered back to the moment in the hallway. What was he about to say? Would he have asked her to get dinner? Would she have said yes? Would he have taken them somewhere and just held her? If she was honest with herself, that was all she wanted to do: Just hug the living crap out of him until she was sure that they were well and truly safe, since she certainly didn't feel safe now.

But Josh had shown up and Castle had just left, bowed out. She knew that was exactly what he'd done. She hugged her knees. He was respecting the relationship she shared with Josh, and giving them the time to spend together. But…she had so many buts to add to the end of that situation.

Josh was in her living room, instead of in Haiti. Yesterday, that had seemed a marvel. Today, the novelty had worn off and she'd been faced with a fate much worse than her boyfriend being across the world. Sometimes you could only get perspective through something drastic, and she was fairly certain that nearly being blown up counted as 'drastic.'

How long would he be here? They hadn't gotten the chance to discuss exactly what his 'staying' entailed. If he'd been gone, she had no doubts that she'd be with Castle right now, laughing over Chinese food and watching a movie on the shower-curtain-projector she was sure he hadn't put away yet. And she wouldn't be alone in her shower sobbing like a mad woman.

That she _was_ sobbing quietly in her shower, alone and broken, while he was on the couch watching a game said something very important about her relationship with Josh. For him, the murder board behind her shades didn't exist. A bouquet of dried flowers from a few weeks earlier sat on her dresser, and he never asked about them. If they talked about work, it was because something funny had happened. They didn't ever speak about the feelings or the issues dealing with death—something they _both_ did—created.

She liked him. She did. But she didn't love him. She hadn't let herself get attached enough to even consider it. One foot out the door, that was her motto. But, hunched over in a shower, reeling from a near-death experience, she desperately wished for a relationship that wasn't superficial.

A voice in her head, which sounded suspiciously like Lanie, told her to call Castle. Told her to tell Josh to go home and give her space. Told her to do that, and then call Castle and have him come over, or go over there, or go and get his family…to just be with him.

She stood slowly and went about actually showering, washing her hair, scrubbing her face. She knew it must have been at least 30 minutes since she'd entered the bathroom. Reluctantly, she turned off the shower a few minutes later and got out and dried off. She threw her hair up in a wet bun and put on the sweats and hoodie she'd worn last night. Then she looked in the mirror.

Her face was red and blotchy. Her eyes were puffy and there were dark circles on her cheeks to rival a corpse. Sighing, she reached for her concealer and abruptly stopped moving. Was she honestly about to put on make up to hide the fact that she'd been crying from her _boyfriend?_ She shook her head and walked out into her bedroom and through to the living room, her feet cold on the wooden floor.

When she reached the couch she looked down at Josh and found him snoring, his body stretched out. He'd had a shift today that started about four hours after they'd been picked up at the freezer, so he'd gotten as little sleep as she had. She covered him with a blanket, feeling empty at the gesture, and then grabbed her phone from her jacket. She had a text message.

_Detective Beckett, are you okay?_

It was from mini Castle. Kate smiled and slid the keyboard out, before she stopped. What should she say? How much did Alexis already know? How much was Castle planning to tell her?

She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, knowing she'd need the hydration after her stint in the shower, and retreated to her room. She closed the door and sat down on her bed, taking a swig before staring at the phone in her hands. She didn't want to ignore Alexis, but she couldn't very well decide what she could tell her. She felt a small part of her mind rejoicing at the thought of having a real excuse and she rolled her eyes.

She pressed speed dial 3 and waited, ignoring the fact that she was holding her breath.

"What's the matter?" came the reply.

"Nothing's wrong, Castle, calm down."

She heard him take a breath. "Sorry, I just…"

"I know," she said quietly.

"So, if nothing is amiss, what can I do for you, Detective?" he asked regally.

No matter what, she could always count on Castle to provide levity. "I got a text from Alexis asking if I was alright. I didn't know how much you wanted to tell her, so I wanted to check with you before I replied," she explained.

"I called them about an hour ago, told them we were okay, and that the crisis was averted. She didn't get all of the details out of me, but that kid, I swear, she's psychic. She knew it wasn't a normal case, and she managed to get me to tell her that we'd found the bomb. I left out the part about us being a second from being blown to pieces," he gave a feeble chuckle and Kate felt her heart constrict. "But she's smart, you know?"

"I do," she told him.

"So you can tell her that you're fine, and that everything's okay."

Kate nodded. It took her a few moments to realize that he couldn't see her moving through the phone. But his voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"For what?" she lay down, cradling the phone to her head and grabbing a pillow to pull to her chest.

"For asking, about Alexis. I didn't even think to mention it, but thank you."

"It's no problem," she replied just as softly.

There was silence for a pause. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Kate let out a small laugh. "I thought you just said to tell your daughter that I was fine?"

She could practically see him sighing at her. "Well, yeah. She's my kid, and since you're physically unscathed, it's not really a lie. But how are _you_?"

"I've had better days," she said. "But I'm alive, you know?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I didn't get a chance to, to thank you," she continued. "You saved my life, Castle. You saved a lot of lives, actually."

"Anytime, Kate," he replied, his voice hoarse. "Anytime."

Kate huffed. "I hope you don't have to do it again," she said.

She heard him chuckle on the other end. "I don't plan to need to diffuse a bomb any time soon, but I mean…I would if I needed to. You don't think we'll find ourselves in that situation again, right?"

She giggled, feeling tension leave her body as they talked about it, even if they were starting to make light of it again. "No. I don't plan to be up against any more explosives."

"I'm starting to worry, you know," he said, causing her to wrinkle her brow. "You seem to attract explosions, and I gotta say, I don't really like that part of your job."

"No one likes being up against that," she replied, shrugging into the pillow.

"I don't like that _you_ keep being up against that."

She closed her eyes, ignoring the nagging part of her that wanted her to remember the doctor on her couch. "I know. I'll do what I can to avoid it."

"Thank you," he murmured.

They were silent for a long time, but neither was much inclined to hang up the phone.

"Where's Josh?" Castle asked tentatively after a few minutes.

Kate sighed. "He's asleep on the couch. He fell asleep when I took a shower."

Castle made a noise of acknowledgment. "It's a lot to take in, for a guy, to hear that his girlfriend almost blew up. I can see that knocking me out."

Kate hugged the pillow tighter against her chest. "No, he picked up a full shift from early this morning. I…I didn't tell him about what happened." What compelled her to admit this was lost to her.

He was quiet for a moment. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Kate was confused. "Yeah, I am, I promise. Why?"

She heard him fidget a bit on the other line. "Just…you know, human companionship makes stuff like this easier, and I assumed you'd have that. I mean, I…"

Kate felt herself smiling at his concern, and the ensuing awkwardness he seemed to be feeling. "Thanks Castle. I know what you mean, and yeah, I…it's…" she couldn't find the right words. "While I'm not happy about it, it's not his fault, really. I didn't tell him anything that would make him assume I needed to be comforted. And I mean, I can't possibly be cold; I took a shower that would boil potatoes."

He laughed. "You too? I'm pretty sure I used up all the hot water in my building."

"Be glad Martha and Alexis aren't there to beat you up for it," she replied easily. "When will they be back?"

"Tomorrow. It was getting dark and Mother doesn't love driving at night. It's better, I think. I don't know how much I want Alexis to see me until tomorrow afternoon."

It was her turn to be concerned. "Are _you_ alright?"

He gave a soft chuckle. "Yeah. I am. Had some soup, burrowed into my couch. I'm just…I doubt I look great right now."

"That makes two of us."

He snorted. "I highly doubt that."

Kate arched an eyebrow. "Puffy isn't a great look for me," she retorted.

There was a pause. "Have you been crying?"

Kate slapped a hand to her forehead. "I…no?" When had she stopped being able to hide things from him? She heard him let out a loud sigh. "What?" He didn't answer. "What, Castle?"

"I don't like thinking of you alone in a shower having a meltdown, Kate."

"You prefer the image of me having a meltdown with someone in the shower?" she joked feebly.

She could practically feel him assessing her with _that look_— the look that felt like it pierced right through to her soul. "I prefer thinking that you went home with someone who would let you be you, the real Kate, not Beckett, the extremely strong super cop."

The answer was candid and honest, and it took her breath away. "I'm okay, Castle, really."

"I know you are," he sighed. "But there's okay, and then there's good, and then there's taken care of. They're all very separate."

"I'll be okay," she assured him. "I've done this before, a few times."

"You've nearly been at the center of a dirty bomb explosion before?" he sounded incredulous and she rolled her eyes.

"No, but the near-death thing? I've done that a few times."

"You shouldn't have to do any of that alone. Don't you guys ever go out after a shootout?"

"Of course. You've been with us on a number of those 'to life' celebratory pub-crawls. We had one this afternoon, as a matter of fact."

"No, not at the Precinct. I meant before me. When I'm not around. When you tell me to stay in the car and something happens and you come out all smiles…but you've just nearly had your head blown off."

"Oh, well, yeah, we've been out those times too. And sometimes I've had a guy, but you know I can take care of myself, right?"

He gave her a very put-upon sigh. "I know. You can do everything alone, and do a damn good job. But there's no reason for you to do it alone if you don't have to."

They lay in silence for a few long minutes. He truly and honestly cared about her, and she was positive that at this moment, there was nothing sordid about what he was saying. This was the Rick Castle that she had been seeing for the past few months— the Rick Castle who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her. She realized that she was deforming the pillow she was holding and forced herself to take a deep breath. "Thanks, Castle."

"For what?"

"For not making me do this alone."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: So…here's part two. I couldn't get the scene to stop playing, so I wrote more. Let me know what you think, and whether you'd like me to continue.**

**For all of the **_**Rock Foundation**_** readers out there, know that there will be a chapter of that on Monday, as usual. I won't stop writing that to write this. I might just write both!**

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Chapter 2**

** "**Always," Rick replied softly.

There was silence, broken only by the soft sound of their breathing. Kate stared up at the ceiling, a small smile on her face. Somehow, that would never get old. The butterflies in her stomach that erupted at his words probably wouldn't go away any time soon either.

"You there?" he asked a few minutes later.

"Yeah Castle, I'm here," she said quietly.

"What're you going to do tomorrow? Montgomery called me earlier and said we're supposed to take the day off?"

"I don't know," she replied. "I hadn't even thought about it. Sleep, if I can. Take a really long bath. You?"

"Much the same, I guess. I might throw some writing in there."

Kate's smile widened. "Nikki Heat going to take out a bomb?"

Rick laughed on the other end. "Maybe. Can I use that?"

"As long as you never tell anyone that it was based on fact. I'd check with the Captain, and maybe your buddy the Mayor. Though, I hear the Governor doesn't know who you are."

He snorted. "Probably will soon. Is the Mayor really going to give us medals?"

"Wouldn't put it past him. Where will you put yours? Or are you going to carry it around and flash it like a badge?"

Castle chuckled. "That's not a bad idea."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Flash a medal for saving the city at one of my crime scenes and you'll wish you didn't have ears."

"Apples! Apples!" Castle said hurriedly.

"And you best not forget it," Kate laughed. "In your version is Rook going to diffuse the bomb, or Nikki?"

"Not sure yet. Guess you'll just have to wait for the book to come out."  
She could practically hear him smirking through the phone. "Didn't mean to stroke your ego."

"I have so many responses to that; I don't know what to pick," he said eagerly.

"How about the polite one?" she suggested.

He sighed. "Fiiiiine."

Kate looked over at her window and gave a little laugh. Night had fallen, and she hadn't even noticed. Glancing at her clock, she was surprised to find that two hours had already passed since she'd gotten in the shower.

"What's funny?" Castle's voice invaded her thoughts.

"Nothing. I didn't notice time passing, that's all."

"Wow. It's already 7?" he asked, surprise tingeing his voice.

"Right?" Kate looked out at the lights coming up from the street. "I wish I could see the stars. I haven't seen them in ages."

"Well, why don't we go see some?"

Kate blinked. "Sorry?"

"Go look at the stars? We have a day off. We could go to my house in the Hamptons, or even just ride up past Westchester and pull off."

"Seriously? You want to drive out to see the stars?"

"Why not? I'm feeling like smelling some roses, and I bet you are too," he replied honestly.

Kate felt a smile blooming on her face before she crashed back to earth. Josh. Josh was asleep on her couch. No matter how nice it sounded to go and watch the stars with Castle, she couldn't. Her boyfriend was laying on her couch, after having decided not to go to Haiti. And she was in here, talking to Castle and hugging a pillow.

"Castle, I…" she felt her voice stick in her throat.

He took a breath on the other end. "Right, sorry."

"What are you apologizing for? That was a really sweet offer, I just…"

"Sometimes I forget to think things through," he interrupted her. "We'll go look at the stars some other night. You should probably wake him up so he doesn't completely destroy his sleep cycle."

He sounded so resigned and Kate felt her heart breaking. "Castle, I…" she tried again.

"Kate," he said firmly and she stopped spluttering. "I get it, don't worry. How about I give you a call tomorrow?"

She sighed. "Okay. But, you know, thank you. I really can't say that enough. For everything, really."

"Any time, KB. Promise me something though?"

She nodded immediately, and then mentally slapped herself. "Yes?"

"Please get some sleep, okay? Whatever you need to do to get it, promise me you will?"

The butterflies fluttered in her chest and Kate wished, not for the first time, that things were not this complicated. "I promise."

"And if you can't, if you find that it's 3am and you're still awake, please call again?"

She wanted to cry. She wanted to throw the pillow she was crushing to her chest. She wanted to race out the door and run all the way to his apartment. "I will. Promise me something in return?"

"Of course."

"Will you do the same? If it's 3am and you're still awake, call me?"

There was a sigh on the other side of the line. "I don't know that…"

"Castle," she interrupted.

"Yeah?"

"Partners."

It was a simple statement, but she heard him suck in a breath. "Partners," he affirmed after a beat.

"Good," she said softly. "I guess I should…"

"Yeah. Right. Have a nice night, Detective."

She clenched her eyes shut. She wished he'd called her Kate. She wished she didn't wish that. "Thank you, Castle. You have a good night too."

Then there was silence and the line went dead. Kate opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, her mind racing a mile a minute. The biggest thought that swirled tauntingly across her mind was that she'd rather ride out to see the stars with him than do anything-_anything_- else. She took a deep breath and sat up, setting her phone on the nightstand and fluffing the pillow to help it regain its shape.

She swung her feet off the bed and stood slowly, wrapping her arms around herself against, well, against the world, she guessed. Steeling herself, she walked out into the living room and over to the couch. She bent down and shook Josh's shoulder.

"Josh," she said quietly.

His eyes popped open and he blinked a few times before he took her in. "Kate," he sat up, rubbing his hands over his face. "What time is it? How long was I out?"

"It's close to 7:30," she told him.

"Shit. Katie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep. Why didn't you wake me?"

Kate shook her head. "You had a really long shift, and I wasn't going to be great company, so I let you sleep. Took a long shower, made a few calls, checked in on people. Oh, crap!" she turned and shot into her room to grab her cell.

"What's the matter?" Josh asked as she came back, her fingers tapping the keyboard furiously.

"Alexis texted me like three hours ago, and I meant to get back to her but I got…distracted," she replied as she sent the text.

"Castle's kid?"

"Yeah. She wanted to know if I was alright."

"If you were alright? Why would she wonder?"

"Castle sent her and Martha out of the city so that, well, you know," she finished lamely. Josh had refused to leave when she'd asked him, especially because she hadn't been able to tell him why he needed to get out. He'd only found out about the terror scare when he'd shown up at the precinct earlier.

"Ah. I didn't know you guys were that close," he said as he stood and followed her over to the kitchen.

Kate turned as she grabbed a box of pasta from the cupboard. She didn't quite know how to respond. "She's my partner's kid," she said after a pause, before she turned around to start boiling water.

"Partner? Did he get officially stationed while I was in Africa?" Josh asked.

The question surprised her. "He's been working with me for three years," she replied slowly. "We're as good as partners, even if he's not actually a cop."

"Wouldn't you be safer if your partner was actually a cop?"

Kate turned around and met his gaze. "He's saved my life a number of times within the past month," she replied evenly. "So, no, not really."

Josh nodded and moved past her to get out plates. They worked in silence and sat down to eat ten minutes later.

"So," Josh was the first to break. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

Kate shrugged. She hadn't been aware that they were spending the day together. "Are you on call?"

Josh nodded guiltily. "When they found out I wasn't leaving yesterday they immediately filled me up for the week."

"That makes sense," Kate forced a smile. "You're their best surgeon. Was the program alright with you ducking out?"

Josh looked down at his plate and Kate immediately went on guard. They hadn't discussed exactly how he'd ended up staying yesterday. She'd been so frozen and shaken last night that he'd just laid with her on her bed and held her to help keep her warm until he had to leave for his shift.

"Josh," she prompted.

"I didn't exactly duck out," he said quietly as he met her gaze. Kate simply looked at him, waiting for the whole answer. "I'm supposed to fly next week." Kate broke eye contact and put down her fork. "I didn't want to tell you last night," he continued. "You had nearly frozen to death, and I just wanted to hold you. I…Kate, I'm sorry. I was planning on bringing this up tomorrow. You must be exhausted, and this just isn't the time to talk about logistics."

She snapped her head up. "Logistics? Logistics of what?"

He blinked. "Of how we're going to make this work," he said confusedly. "I'm only supposed to be gone for a month, six weeks tops. And I thought we could iron out the details tomorrow? Maybe see if you could get a few days off to come visit me in the middle, so it's not so long a break, you know?"

"You're still going to Haiti," she stated.

"I, yeah. Kate, they need me there."

They were about to rehash the same argument they'd been having for three weeks. The whole world _needed_ him. Africa, Haiti, the hospital, the EMTs— Super Josh was there to save the world. And Kate? Kate got to spend hurried evenings with him—got to kiss him goodbye at two in the morning, and say hello at three the next night when he crawled into her bed. That she needed him too couldn't compare to the whole world, could it?

"Fine," she said, too tired to argue.

"Kate," he said quietly as she stabbed her fork into the pasta and ate, her gaze set out the window.

"No. I get it Josh. You have to save the world. I can't really fault you for that, can I?"

"Katie," he tried again.

She met his eyes. "I understand, Josh. I couldn't give up being a cop. But…" she took a deep breath.

"But?" he looked worried.

"But I can't come second forever," she said softly.

"You won't," he replied hurriedly. "Not forever. You don't come second at all," he added quickly.

Kate gave a sad chuckle. "But I do, Josh. And I'm not mad about that. You're a doctor; it's who you are, just like I'm a cop. But I don't think we can combine those two things. I can never leave Manhattan, not for long anyway, and you're always going to be called away from it. What happens when you decide you want to stay in Haiti, or Africa? It's not like I could come with you."

"Kate," he said, his voice tinged with desperation.

"Josh, we've been going back and forth about this for weeks," she said gently. She'd been so blinded last night when he'd stayed that she hadn't considered that it was just a temporary fix. This would always be a problem. And suddenly, it was clear to her that she deserved someone who would put her before everything first, so that she could do the same. "And nothing's going to change."

"But Kate, I could, I could just stay here."

Kate shook her head. "I can't ask that of you, Josh."

"You're not asking, I'm offering," he said plaintively.

"And I'm saying no," she whispered. "I'm not going to make you give up your life for me, Josh."

He considered her, and a moment later she saw defeat flash across his eyes. "Even if that means that I don't get to have you in it, right?"

"It's not fair to either of us. Missing you all the time does me no good when you're gone, and you knowing that I'm here while you're there can't be good for your work either."

"If I leave, Katie, really leave, I can never come back," he said after a moment.

Kate bristled. "What, so you leave and you're just going to pretend like we've never met?"

Josh laughed and Kate became confused. "No, no. Kate, if I leave, there's someone else who'll take you, and he'll never give you back." Kate blinked. "I've never seen someone so distressed after nearly freezing, Kate. And it wasn't because _he'd_ nearly died."

"I…"

"It's not your fault," Josh shrugged. "I've always known that there was something there. But if I leave Kate, no matter what you say, that something will become a thing, and I don't think that even I can compare to that."

"Josh," she protested.

"I'm not saying that I feel hurt, or whatever, because there's something unresolved between you and your _partner. _I've always known that you had more than a working relationship with him. It never bothered me because I had you. But, since it looks like I'm not going to anymore, promise me something?"

Kate couldn't wrap her mind around where the conversation had gone. He was leaving. He was _leaving_, for good—from New York, from America, from her. And he wanted her to promise him something? Why did they all want her to promise them things?

"What is it?" she asked after a second.

"Let him love you," Josh replied simply. "I don't think you ever fully let me, and I want you to be loved, Katie."

Kate was speechless. He stood and walked around the table to her. He leaned down and kissed her, taking her head in his hands and pouring everything they'd felt for each other into the moment. Kate felt a tear slip down her cheek as he pulled away.

"You deserve the world, Katherine Beckett. Make sure he gives it to you." He stood straight and walked across the apartment and started putting on his coat.

Kate stood shakily and followed him. "Josh," she said as he reached the door. "I…I'm sorry. You deserve the world too, you know?"

He smiled and came to stand in front of her. "Thank you. We can keep the world safe together, even if we're not together. Don't be a stranger, Katie. I want to know when you ride your bike and don't get ticketed, and when The Frames are on at Barnes and Noble. Call me. Write me."

Kate nodded and he pulled her in for a hug. "I'll miss you," she whispered. It was the truth. For whatever else had kept them from being what she needed, she liked Josh. She cared about him, and she would miss having him in her life.

"I'll miss you too." He kissed her temple and then pulled back and extended a hand. "Friends?"

Kate laughed. "Of course." They shook hands and then he stepped away.

"Really. Don't be a stranger. And let me know if you're ever frozen or dying again? I won't be the one keeping you from freezing, but I'd like to be able to make sure you're okay on the other side."

Kate laughed. "I promise. Go save people, Josh."

He nodded. "You too. And get some sleep."

"You too."

They shared a sad smile before he opened the door and left. Kate stared at the closed door for a few minutes after he'd gone, her mind working in overdrive. She took a deep breath and walked to her couch, where she promptly collapsed and put her head in her hands. A bomb had nearly killed her not five hours ago. Now she was single. Her kitchen clock chimed and she looked up. It was 9:00pm. She lay down, her mind oddly blank.

Josh was gone. She didn't feel angry, or sad, even. She was simply drained. A few minutes later, her eyes slipped shut and she fell into a restless slumber.

They were in the freezer, Castle's cold hands wrapped as tightly around her as they could. She could feel him shivering against her back and she tried to reach up to rub his cheek, but her hands were too heavy.

"Stay with me," he sighed. "Kate, stay with me."

She could feel his hand on her cheek and hear him crying, but she couldn't move. She tried to speak but she was so cold. And suddenly, the rise and fall of his chest stopped happening behind her and his arms fell from her sides.

"Castle!" she tried to say. She couldn't open her mouth. "Rick! Rick! Wake up! Don't leave!"

But nothing she tried could get her body to move. She couldn't rouse him. She couldn't even call to him. And she was so cold. He was dead behind her and she was trapped in her frozen body. Tears that made their way out of her eyes froze as soon as they'd begun.

He was gone. He was dead and she couldn't save him.

She woke with a gasp, shivering with tears pouring down her face. She looked around at her apartment and tried to calm her racing heart. She was fine. She was alive. They'd gotten out of the freezer and everything was okay now.

She tried to repeat the mantra, but nothing she said to herself seemed to be able to stop the panic. She was violently shivering now, and she stumbled to the door to wrap her heaviest coat around her body. She stepped into a pair of boots and put on a hat. All the while, her mind raced and tears continued to slip down her cheeks.

She tried walking around, sitting, standing, jumping—nothing could make it stop. It felt like someone was trying to rip her heart out of her chest. She simply couldn't shake the desperate broken feeling the dream had brought.

Before she could stop herself, she was grabbing her keys and cellphone and hurtling out of the apartment. She hailed a cab and used all of her training to keep her voice steady as she gave the address. She paid and sprinted into the building, barely even nodding to the doorman.

The ride in the elevator seemed to last forever. When she reached his floor she ran to the door and knocked. As she waited, she attempted to calm down, but there were still tears and her breathing was still out of control.

The door opened and Kate wrapped her arms around him, clutching him to her, without a care for how it looked. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled them into the apartment, closing the door gently behind them.

"Kate, what's wrong?" Castle asked, running a hand over her hair.

She took a deep breath and pulled back, smiling through the tears. "Wanna go see the stars?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: I'm really amazed by the response to this story. I've never had this many reviews for a single chapter before, and I'm absolutely gob-smacked. Thank you so much for supporting this story and for being such an amazingly wonderful group of people. **

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Chapter 3:**

He brought a hand up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Stars?"

"Yeah," Kate pulled him back in for another hug. "I want to smell some roses."

"I, sure. We can go see the stars. Are you alright? What happened?" he asked as he gently pushed her away a bit to take her in. She watched as he noticed the boots and sweats, sweatshirt, hat and heavy coat. "Are you still cold?"

"I had a dream about the freezer."

His worried gaze melted into understanding and he led her over to the couch, where she could tell he had been camped out. His laptop sat on the coffee table, surrounded by a large, empty bowl of soup, some tissues and a large mug. The couch was piled high with what looked like every comforter in the house.

He sat down and pulled her to sit next to him, wrapping a number of the blankets around them before he tentatively pulled her into his side. Kate gave a small, contented sigh and let her head fall on his shoulder, stretching one arm across his stomach.

"Kate?" he asked a few minutes later. She raised her head and turned to look at him. "What's the matter?"

"I…" she took a deep breath, smiling as she realized that she finally could do just that. "I had this dream. We were in the freezer and you were asking me to, to stay with you," she began. He nodded, his eyes turning haunted at the memory, which was obviously as painful to him as it was to her. "And then you just stopped talking and went still. I couldn't even move, or talk and you were there with me dying and I couldn't do anything to stop it…and I…I woke up and just, God."

The pain of it all came back and she found to her dismay that tears were falling down her cheeks again. He looked at her for a second before she saw him mentally say "ah hell," and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms securely around her.

"I'm okay," he whispered, his own voice tight. "I'm alive. You're alive. No more bombs, or freezers. We're fine." He held her tighter and Kate realized that he was saying everything not just for her, but for him as well.

"I know," she replied, pressing her face into his neck. "I know we are."

They sat like that for a long moment, just holding on to each other. After about fifteen minutes, he pulled back and their eyes met. "Kate, where's Josh?"

Kate met his gaze. She wasn't sad that Josh was gone. Being in Castle's lap had healed the part of her that had felt so broken just hours earlier, and no matter what else, that was true, and real, and _there. _

"He's going to Haiti," she said. He didn't look happy, or triumphant, merely sad for her.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

Kate shook her head. "I'm not." One of her fingers played with the fabric on his shoulder. "Being there means actually _being_ here, and it's not something he can do for me, and I can't be there for him either. I don't want to do this alone," she admitted.

The significance of her words was not lost on him, and he merely nodded. "What do you say we go see some stars?" he asked her.

She smiled. "Please."

They stood together. She waited as he bundled himself in a coat and hat and pulled on gloves. He extended a hand to her, led her out of the apartment and into the elevator, which took them to the garage. "Do you mind if I drive?" he asked as they arrived at his car.

Kate laughed, and he grinned. "I think, tonight, I can let it slide," she acquiesced.

They got in and pulled out of the garage, a pleasant silence filling the car. The streets were mostly empty, save for the late theater cabs. Kate watched the city lights fly by as they passed out of Manhattan and hit the 9A. The city flew away, and soon they were curving around hills and forests, the chaos of New York falling behind them.

"Do you ever think of living out here permanently?" Kate asked. "Well, not here, but in the Hamptons?"

Rick gave a small chuckle. "No. As much as I love nature and the country, I need the city. There's a life there that's unlike anything else, you know?"

Kate nodded. She'd thought about leaving Manhattan after her mother had died—just getting up and leaving, running away. But she couldn't. She had needed the closure, and eventually, the city became a balm instead of a constant sting.

They passed another peaceful half hour before Kate's curiosity got the better of her. "Where are we going?"

He glanced over at her. "I hadn't really picked a location, but there's an exit a few miles up here, and I bet we could just pull over."

He looked apprehensive and Kate smiled. "Sounds perfect."

The exit arrived and Castle pulled off. A few miles down the road, he stopped to the side of a grassy hill. Wordlessly, they got out of the car and walked around to the front to lean against the hood together. The cold night was cloudless, with a nearly full moon that bathed the earth in a silver glow. Kate stared up at the stars, which never ceased to amaze her. There were so many, and it made her feel small, but ultimately whole, like she was a part of something bigger and greater than the mundane day to day.

"Mind boggling, isn't it?" Castle asked softly from her left. "That there's so much up there, and we're down here?"

"Kind of puts things in perspective," Kate agreed.

She stared at Orion's belt and considered what had happened earlier that day. If half of Manhattan had blown up, would it have mattered to the universe? Would anything significant have changed, really? In geological time, that instant wouldn't even register. The thousands—hundreds of thousands—of people would be miniscule to history's memory.

But then she looked at the man next to her, his cheeks pink from the cold and his breath rising in puffs toward the starry sky. History might forget them, but she wouldn't forget him. The people he loved wouldn't have forgotten him. Many more people would have died, herself among them, but to her, the death that would have stung the most was his.

She reached her hand over and slipped her fingers through his. He turned to look at her and their eyes met. Silent communication was something they'd become rather good at, and this moment was no different. They both knew what could have been lost, and what there was still to gain. He squeezed her hand gently before they turned their gazes upward again.

They stood and stared at the heavens for at least an hour, before the cold began to get to both of them. Kate began to shiver and pulled her coat tighter around her body with her free hand.

"Why don't we head back?" he suggested quietly.

Kate nodded reluctantly and they disengaged, dropping hands to walk around and get into the car. Castle started the engine and turned up the heat, but didn't put it into drive.

"You okay?" she asked, looking over to find him staring back at her.

"Yeah," he gave her a smile. "Just lots going on in here," he gestured to his head.

"Anything new, or just your usual crazy?" she joked lightly, laughing as he scowled at her.

"I like to think my usual thoughts aren't crazy, but refreshingly imaginative," he huffed. "But the other stuff is just, you know, happiness for being alive. For being here. For having you here with me."

Kate took the hand that was resting on the seat and wrapped her fingers through his again. "Me too, Rick."

The use of his name made him smile and he brought their hands up to his mouth to press a kiss to the back of her palm. "What do you say I get us back to the city and we wait for the sunrise?"

Kate nodded, her breath stuck in her throat. She'd never met anyone who could say so much with just his eyes. But the look he gave her now— it stole her breath away and made her stomach flip.

He put the car in drive and turned them around, and before she knew it, they were speeding back down the highway toward the beacon of light that was the city. She toyed with his fingers as they drove, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. The day had been such a whirlwind, and she was extremely grateful for the feeling of peace this trip had given her— that he had given her.

"When Alexis was twelve, she broke her arm," he spoke softly as they sped along the deserted highway. Kate looked over at him and watched as he remembered a night that was clearly painful to him. "She was playing field hockey at school and some kid slammed the her stick into her arm by accident. I rushed to the hospital and I was completely frantic. But there she was, all calm and collected. She'd cried a bit when they were setting it, but other than that, she was this little stoic rock. I took her home and made her a fort of pillows on the couch, got ice cream, candy, Chinese— the works. All we did for two days was watch movies and gorge ourselves on everything."

Kate squeezed his hand. "Sounds like you did all the right stuff."

"She certainly never had time to feel bad about it. By the time she went back to school, she was really relaxed, and then, of course, she was all twitter pated because _everyone_ wanted to sign her cast." He laughed. "She never got down about it, but it took me a week to stop worrying that every little sound she made wasn't her falling down the stairs or tripping on the rugs."

"You're a good dad," said Kate.

"Thanks. I don't think I've ever been more terrified that that, until this week."

Kate nodded. "Me too," she replied.

He glanced over and their eyes met for a moment. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "We're so lucky," he said quietly after a few minutes.

"Yeah, we are," she smiled.

They were quiet for the rest of the ride, each lost in thought. When they reentered the city, Rick took the long route to his house. He gently let go of her hand after a few minutes and whipped out his cell phone, pressing a few tabs.

"Yes, this is Richard Castle. Could I have…yes, perfect. Thank you. I'll be there in ten."

Kate looked at him but he didn't elaborate. She shrugged and watched the lights pass by until they pulled up to a curb and Rick hopped out. "I'll be back," he said mysteriously, before he closed the door and hurried through the cold into a little café. Kate watched through the window as he paid for a large box and shook the proprietor's hand.

He came back and got in the driver's seat, placing the box on the floor behind her seat. Then he put the car in drive and sped down the street. They were quiet. He kept glancing over at her every now and again, and she suppressed a smile. They made it ten blocks before he broke.

"Don't you want to know what's in the box?" he asked, sounding more like himself than he had for most of the evening.

Kate grinned. "And put you out of your misery?" He pouted. "I thought you wanted it to be a surprise?" she challenged.

He took it. "Oh, it'll be the best surprise, mark my words."

They pulled into the garage of his building and he grabbed the box, clutching it to his chest protectively as they walked over to the elevator. Kate rolled her eyes but couldn't help smiling at his being, well, him. The elevator reached his floor and he led her inside, placing the box on the counter before they removed their coats.

"Do you want anything?" he asked as he moved to the kitchen.

"You mean I don't get to find out what's in the box?" she asked, toying with him.

"Patience is a virtue," he replied sagely.

"Fine," she pouted, watching as he grinned. "Tea?"

"Are you still cold?" he asked with concern while he put on a pot of water.

"No, I just…I feel like it's still there, you know? Even if I can't feel the cold anymore, it's like it's hiding in my bones." She shook her head. "Sorry, that's crazy, isn't it?"

He walked over and wrapped an arm around her while got two mugs down from the cabinet to her left. "Not crazy," he said as he wrapped her in a hug and ran his hands over her back.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled as he laid his head on top of hers. She rarely stood at her real height around him, and she found, to her surprise, that she enjoyed the extra six or so inches it gave him. She felt him press a kiss to her hair and she grinned into his neck.

"No more freezers," he said after a few minutes.

"No more freezers," she agreed.

The kettle whistled and he reluctantly pulled away to fill their cups with hot water while she opened the tea drawer he pointed out.

"Good Lord. Did you get all of the tea in the city one day?" she asked, taking in the huge selection in the drawer.

"Alexis is a big tea drinker, as is mother. I'd go for something decaffeinated, were I you," he said as he reached around her to grab a cinnamon teabag.

Kate nodded and surveyed her options for a while before picking out a vanilla honey. She put the bag in the mug he extended to her and then followed him to the couch. He sat down and put an arm over the back of the couch. She smiled shyly and tucked herself into his side, pulling her feet up to her side. He tugged a blanket over her and then pulled one over his legs before he settled his arm around her shoulders.

They sat quietly for a long while, his fingers tracing patterns on her shoulder. She leaned away to put her mug down and then adjusted herself so that she could wrap an arm around his stomach. Eventually, she ended up with her legs thrown over his and her head on his shoulder. He placed his mug on the side table and carded his free hand through her hair. She smiled.

"Are you tired?" he asked quietly.

She gave a small sigh. "I wish I was, but I'm not. And even if I did sleep, I don't think it would be very restful."

"Wanna watch a shower curtain movie? My laptop's still synched up to the projector."

"Sure," she smiled.

He leaned around her and grabbed the computer, bringing it to rest on her knees. "What are you in the mood for? I have Netflixs."

"Something quiet? No action."

"No action, definitely. How about the Pajama Game?" he asked, looking through the rather esoteric cue on his account.

"The musical?"

"Mother must have watched it recently," he shrugged.

"Sounds good to me."

He clicked play and set the laptop back on the coffee table. They watched in silence as Doris Day raced with the clock, each happy to merely be with the other. Halfway through the movie, Kate got up to use the bathroom. When she returned, Castle was lying down, the array of blankets piled high on top of him. He pushed them off a bit and opened an arm for her, inviting her to lie down next to him.

She smiled and complied, lying down so that her head rested just below his chin, one arm curled beneath her head. He pulled the blankets down over them and gently wrapped and arm around her stomach. She felt him take a breath behind her, as if he worried she would rebuff him. She placed a hand over his on her stomach and felt him relax.

As they lay there, Kate felt the last remnants of tension flow out of her body. The panicked feeling had long ago left her, but there had been an underlying sense of unrest that had stayed throughout their trip to see the stars. Now, with him so very alive and real behind her, an arm draped over her stomach and his breath on hair, she finally felt safe again.

"How ya doin'?" he asked about an hour later.

"Better," she smiled, rubbing her hand up and down his arm. "Much better. You?"

"Me?" she could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm great."

"Glad to hear it."

He gave her a squeeze. "I'm really glad you're here, KB."

"Me too," she said quietly. "Hey, what were you going to say earlier?"

"Earlier?"

"When you left the Precinct, you were going to say something."

"Oh," she felt him shift behind her, as if he was uneasy. "That was nothing."

"Didn't seem like it. You can tell me you know, it's just us."

He took a deep breath behind her. "I was thinking that we could go to the Hamptons or something—get out of the city." She smiled and ran a hand along his arm to get him to continue. "I just…we'd had such a hard few days that I thought it would be nice to get away from it."

"I would have loved that," she replied after a minute.

His arm tightened around her. "Really?"

"Really."

They were quiet as they watched the credits roll over the screen.

"We can still go, if you want. I can call Alexis in the morning and tell her to stay there with Mother. We could spend a few days at the house."

Kate smiled but gently shook her head. "Thanks, but we'll have a case on Monday, I'm sure. Another time?"

"Sure," he replied. She felt his cheek resting on the top of her head. "Whenever you want, whatever you want, KB."

A piece of her heart melted at his words. He was being honest; he would really give her anything, take her anywhere. She knew it. And, though it was too soon—her break up still too fresh—she knew that one day, he'd give her the world if she let him.

"Do you want to watch another movie?" he asked when the screen shifted back to the Netflix logo.

"If you want. I'm okay just lying here," she admitted.

"I'm good," he said quietly. He reached over her and shut the laptop before he grabbed his phone and set an alarm. "Just in case we fall asleep, unless you're okay with missing the sunrise."

"And never learn what's in the box? Fat chance."

She could feel him grinning as he set the alarm and then brought his hand back to wrap his arm around her. She surprised him by turning over and wrapping her free hand around his chest. She sighed as he drew her close and rubbed her back. He took a shaking breath and she pulled away to look at his face.

"Are you really okay, Rick?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "I'm fine. I'm just…there was a lot to lose, and it comes back at odd moments, you know?"

"I do."

"And I'm feeling grateful, really grateful right now, for lots of things. Like I said, there's lots going on in here," he pointed to his head. "And on a rare occasion, it's just a bit overwhelming."

She nodded in understanding and ran her hand through his hair. "Can I help?"

He smiled at her and simply wrapped his arms tightly around her body. "Just being here is all I need, KB."

She lay her head back down and pressed a light kiss to his chest. Then there was only silence, and the beat of his heart beneath her ear. They didn't need to talk. The feel of his hand rubbing circles on her back felt like conversation. The rise and fall of his chest soothed her, and though she did not sleep, she rested. For the first time in what felt like weeks, she rested. She could feel him relaxing as time went on—could feel his breathing even out, his heartbeat becoming steady.

Hours passed and they lay there, somewhere between waking and sleeping, content to simply be wrapped up in each other. The alarm on his phone beeped and both startled as it broke the silence. Rick leaned over and shut it off before he looked down at her.

"Sunrise?" he asked, running a hand over her cheek.

"Sunrise."

She moved the blankets and stood, instantly regretting the decision as the cold of the room hit her. He followed suit and then stooped to grab one of the heavier blankets. He wrapped it around her shoulders and draped it down her front. She smiled in thanks before he did the same.

Wordlessly, he took her hand and led them over to the window at the corner of the room, where they had a straight shot view down the avenue to the water about a mile away. He stood behind her and quickly removed the blanket over her shoulders to replace it with himself, wrapping his own comforter around them both as he pulled her to his chest. Kate sighed and leaned back into him.

He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Gorgeous, isn't it?"

Kate nodded as they watched the sun crest the water, slowly rising and casting a glow over the tall buildings. She hadn't watched the sun rise in as long as she hadn't seen the stars.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For the warmth. For the stars. For the sunrise."


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: Well, inspiration struck.**

**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited and added this story to your alert lists. I am absolutely staggered by the response to this story (I had over 4,000 hits yesterday between this story and **_**Rock Foundation**_**, and received 39 reviews for just chapter 3.). I am so grateful for the amazing things you have said to me, and I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. **

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Chapter 4:**

They stood there, wrapped in each other, and watched the sun rise over Manhattan until they could no longer see it. Kate leaned into his embrace, smiling as he tugged her closer. After a few minutes, her stomach rumbled and they both laughed.

"Sounds like it's time to feed you," he murmured against her shoulder.

Kate snorted. "That makes me sound like some sort of animal."

"A brilliant, smart and beautiful animal?"

She laughed. "Good try. Now, what are you feeding me?"

He shrugged and pulled back, grabbing her hand and shifting the blanket so that it draped around both of them. He led her to the counter.

"Do I finally get to discover the contents of your secret box?" They paused and looked at each other. "That came out dirtier than I intended it to."

He grinned. "You won't find me complaining. Now, before you sits a type of exaltation that is rarely experienced by anyone. This, this, my dear Kate, is the gateway to another world."

"It's about to be a pile of scrapped cardboard if you don't let me eat something soon," she said, smirking as he pouted.

"Fine," he sighed, opening the lid of the large box.

Kate gasped as the lid came off. Inside the box was a massive collection of the most extraordinary looking pastries she had ever seen. Eclaires, bear claws, streusel, coffee cake, donuts, muffins, churros— it was the most spectacular display of breakfast sweets there could ever be.

"Still deny that it's not that good?"

"Rick, how? What? How can two people possibly eat all of this?" she squeaked, turning to look at him. "You've got enough here to feed the Precinct for an entire week!"

"Well, Mother and Alexis will come home later, and I expect you to have at least two before they do." Kate just blinked at him as he grinned. "Come on KB, I know you secretly want the butter cream frosted cinnamon bun."

"Butter cream frosting?" she asked, the lavishness of the box wearing off as she realized that she now had her pick of a complete bakery.

"Best I've ever eaten, and I've eaten a lot of pastries in my travels."

"Well, I mean, we should make a dent right? Wouldn't want it to go to waste…"

"Yes, come to the dark side, we have Elcaires," he said as he picked a sugar coated, chocolate confection out of the box. "Go ahead."

Kate grabbed a napkin and plucked the cinnamon bun out of the box, following Rick to sit down at the counter. She took a tentative bite and had to fight very hard to keep herself from moaning aloud.

"That," she swallowed and then stared at him, "is the most amazing thing I've ever eaten. How on earth did you find that place?"

"Mother and I used to eat there when we got back to the city after a tour when I was a kid. She and the owner had a bit of a fling for a while, and we stayed connected after they broke up. I must have been 15. Every time I go, he gives me one of these boxes."

"Are you still close with him?" she asked gently. He was famously fatherless, and until now, she'd never heard of a solid male figure in his life.

"Not particularly. We grew apart, but he still likes to give me these boxes, and I sign books for his wife sometimes."

Kate nodded thoughtfully. "Does Martha care when you get one of these?"

"Mother? She thinks it's fabulous. They parted on amicable terms, one of which was that she would always be able to eat at the bakery."

Kate laughed and Rick smiled. "It's delicious," she said.

"Glad I could provide you with good food," he replied. "Do you want coffee?"

"Pastries and coffee? I may never leave," she smiled.

They stared at each other for a moment and the lightness of her words dissolved. They were very carefully tiptoeing on a line, and they both knew it. They were still sharing the same large blanket, their knees bumping together as they sat next to each other on the bar stools.

"Feel free to be here whenever you want, KB," he said about a minute later. "How bout that coffee?"

She nodded and smiled as he ducked out from beneath the blanket and made sure that it would stay over her shoulders while he flitted around the kitchen. He made a grand show of making the coffee, flipping lids and waving spoons as he put grounds into the expensive, yet so totally worth it coffee maker. Kate had grown rather attached to that machine when she'd stayed for that week last year. Her own coffee maker, though markedly improved from the one that got wrecked in the explosion, never quite managed to make coffee as good as Castle's.

"I could order one for you, you know," Rick told her.

"Thanks, but mine's just fine," she replied. "And I can always come over here and use yours."

He grinned. "I herefore rescind my offer. I like your plan much better."

They exchanged smiles. He got out cream and poured them both coffee once it was ready. No one had ever bothered to learn exactly how Kate liked her coffee before Castle showed up in her life. In fact, she'd gotten so spoiled by it that the few times Josh had tried to make coffee for her, she hadn't been able to drink it. If she was going to have "monkey pee in battery acid," she had to make it herself. Otherwise, it was the Castle way or bust.

"Coffee for M'lady," he said as he presented her with a cup and placed his to her right. He snuck back under the blanket with her and then raised his cup. "Cheers."

"Cheers," she smiled. They clinked mugs and then sat in a content silence for a little while as they drank.

He turned to look at her a few minutes later. "How you doin'?"

"I'm doing well," she smiled, placing a hand on his knee. "You?"

"I'm doing well too. Are you tired? I mean," he gestured to his mug, "but I know _I_ didn't get more than three hours of sleep within the past 48 hours."

"The same for me, but, I don't know, I'm not sleepy. I'm tired. I'm a bit sore, but I'm not the sleeping kind of tired. Are you?"

He shook his head. "I know I should be. I don't really want to close my eyes," he admitted quietly.

She squeezed his knee and smiled as he laid his hand over hers, threading their fingers together. "I get it."

"What would you like to do then? Unless you want to go home," he added quickly.

Kate smiled at his concern. He was giving her an out, if she wanted one. She didn't. In fact, she had never _not_ wanted to go home and be alone as much as she did now. "If you can stand my company, I'm happy to stay here."

"I thiiiink I can bear it," he replied, looking up as if considering her offer. She smacked him with her free hand. "Ha. No. Just kidding. I'm glad you want to stay. Do you want to watch another movie?"

Kate shrugged. "We could."

"Not in the mood?"

"I'm not in the mood for anything. I'm not tired but I'm exhausted, you know?"

He nodded. "I do." He stood to her side and helped her off the stool, before guiding them back to the couch. "How about we just sit?"

"Sounds good."

He sat down and opened his arms for her. Kate smiled and cuddled herself into his side while he draped the blanket over them again. They didn't say anything. It was enough to simply have this peace with him—to be lucky enough to have the chance to have this peace.

An hour later, the door to the apartment banged open and Alexis came hurtling through, followed by a worried and harried looking Martha.

"Dad!" Alexis cried as she spotted them on the couch. "Kate!"

"Honey," Rick said as she catapulted herself around them, hugging them both. "We're okay. We're okay, Pumpkin."

Kate was shocked. She and Alexis had always had a good relationship, and had even been out to eat a few times. Alexis rarely called her Kate, despite all of her assurances that it was alright. On top of that, they'd barely ever touched, let alone hugged the life out of one another. But, as the teen flung herself on them, Kate felt another part of her heart melt, and she wrapped an arm around the girl.

"We're okay, Alexis, we promise," Kate murmured.

"I was so worried," she said as she pulled back. "I know you said everything was fine—both of you. But I just, without seeing you, I…"

Tears started pouring down her cheek and Rick pulled her onto his lap. Kate sat up to give them a little room and space, rubbing Alexis' back before she stood and walked over to Martha, who was watching from the side of the room, her eyes shining and shoulders quaking.

"Hey," Kate said softly as she came to stand in front of her.

"I'm just," she began, wiping her eyes. "I've never seen him look that scared before. He held it together for her, for me, but it felt like I was saying goodbye to my son."

"I'm sorry," Kate said quietly, a horrible sense of guilt filling her gut.

"Katherine Beckett," Martha said sharply, yet still quietly enough as to not disturb the other two. "If it hadn't been for you, we would all be dead right now, I'm certain of it."

Kate blinked. She hadn't considered what would have happened if Rick hadn't been with her to pull the wires. She couldn't really even fathom how it would have worked out. It wouldn't have.

"We were worried for you too, Kiddo," Martha continued, before she pulled Kate in for a hug. "If he'd come with us and you hadn't been here to come home to, I don't know what would have happened. A life without you in it wouldn't work for any of us."

Kate felt tears welling in her own eyes as this new wave of emotion and connection washed over her. The Castles did so much hugging, and loving, and saying things that made you want to cry and laugh and sing all at once.

"Thank you," Martha whispered in her ear before they pulled apart.

"For what?" Kate asked, laughing as both of them tried to discretely wipe their eyes.

"For my son and my grand daughter. Rick might not tell me everything, but I know that you've saved his life more than once over the past three years, in more ways than one."

Kate blushed and shook her head. "We're even. He's saved my life too, more times than's healthy for one person, I think."

"Well, we'll need to see if the two of you can't put your prodigious intelligence to work to cut down on that. Now, whats say we…Is that a Stragovi box?" she gasped as she spotted the open pastry box on the counter.

"It is," Rick called from the couch. "Nicolai says hello, by the way."

Martha grinned and walked over to drop a kiss on her son's head. He brought a hand up to touch her cheek and they whispered to each other for a moment before Martha straightened up and made a beeline for the box. Kate wandered back to the couch, feeling a bit dazed, and sat down next to Alexis. The girl shifted so that she sat between Kate and her father and smiled up at her.

"I'm really glad you're okay," she said.

"Me too," Kate replied, wrapping an arm around Alexis' shoulders with an abandon that surprised her. "And I'm glad that _you're_ alright."

"It's a mutual thing," Alexis smiled.

"Do you want a pastry, Pumpkin?" Rick asked her as he ran a hand over Kate's arm.

"One of the cream-filled coffee cake donuts?" she asked excitedly.

"You got it," Rick beamed before he stood. "Anything for you Kate? You promised me that you'd eat two before they came back."

"They came back early!" she protested as Alexis laughed. "But I guess I could take one of the chocolate covered churros."

"Ooh, those are good," Alexis chimed in.

"You got it," Rick said before he joined his mother at the counter.

"You doin' better now?" Kate asked as she and Alexis turned to look at each other.

"Yeah. It was just not being able to see you, you know? It's not the same when it's over the phone," the girl shrugged.

Kate nodded. "I know. I promise we're okay though."

"Were you still cold last night?" Alexis asked as she noticed the pile of blankets and mugs on the coffee table.

"A bit. It's more like we were making up for it, rather than just being cold."

"I can't imagine what that must have been like," Alexis told her.

"Don't try," Kate smiled. "It's not something I want you to think about. Everyone's fine, and it's over now."

"And it's time for pastries!" Rick added as he handed them their confections while biting into a frosting-filled donut.

"When did you go to Stragovis?" Alexis asked when Rick had settled on her other side and Martha fell into the armchair by the couch.

"We stopped there last night," Rick replied.

Kate's hand found his on the back of the couch and they exchanged a smile. Their trip to the stars would always be a lovely memory, but she understood why he wanted it to be _their _memory for a while, if not forever.

"Did the two of you get any sleep at all?" Martha asked, looking closely at both of them.

"We rested," Kate replied.

"Do you have to work today?" Alexis asked her.

"No. The Captain gave us the day off."

"Would you like to have a movie day with us? The shower curtain's still up, and we could try to watch all of the Harry Potter movies or something totally silly. Dad knows the best Chinese delivery place…"

"The one on 22nd that I bring to the Precinct," Rick interjected.

"And we could just veg out?" Alexis finished.

Kate smiled. "I think that sounds perfect."

Alexis squealed and jumped up. "Okay, you guys get comfortable, and I'm gonna go change. Then we'll watch some Harry Potter," she asserted, before she ran up the stairs, cake still in hand.

Rick turned to Martha once Alexis was out of hearing range. "How is she, really?"

"You gave us both a colossal scare, Richard," she told him seriously. "Alexis did quite a bit of crying but thankfully she fell asleep early."

"And you, Mother?" Rick asked.

"I've had about as much sleep as I expect the two of you have," she told him. "Therefore, I'm going to try to catch up some while you enjoy the movie."

"You won't stay?" he asked. Kate smiled. No matter how they acted, Rick loved his mother, and she loved him.

Martha stood and came over to pat his cheek. "I'll watch some small children grow into decent actors another day, or maybe later, if Alexis is going to hold you hostage for all six. Right now, you spend time with your daughter. Wake me for lunch?"

Rick nodded and Martha straightened up. She ran a hand over Kate's head on her way out and they watched her go up the stairs. Kate squeezed the hand she still held and he brought his gaze to meet hers.

"Are you sure you want me to stay?" she asked quietly. "I'm sure you and Alexis could use some bonding time."

"Alexis would be devastated if you left, I'm sure of it. And I wouldn't be happy either," he admitted.

"Okay," she whispered.

He smiled and pulled her over so that he could wrap his arms around her. "Thank you."

"For what?"

He pulled back to look at her. "For caring about my kid. For caring about my mom—don't think I didn't see you calm her down earlier."

Kate blushed. "It was a mutual thing."

He gave her that look—the look that told her he knew her better than she was giving him credit for. "Really, Kate, thank you. You're good for my family."

She gave a very contented sigh. "You're good for me too," she whispered.

She felt him press a kiss into her hair and tug her closer before a small cough broke them apart.

"Am I interrupting something?" Alexis asked.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: This is a short chapter, I admit that up front. But it's fluffy and heavy at once, so I think it makes up for it. There will be another chapter this week. **

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**Chapter 5:**

They looked over at Alexis, laughing. The teen simply looked confused.

"Nope," Kate replied. "You got the movies?"

Alexis held up the stack of special edition DVDs. "Do you guys want to start from the beginning?"

"Of course!" Rick replied. "Pop the first one in and come snuggle up."

Alexis grinned and did as she was told. She turned around and looked at the couch, a confused look overcoming her features, as if she couldn't decide where to sit. Kate smiled and removed herself from Rick's grasp to scoot away a bit, leaving a space for Alexis to sit. Alexis' smile grew and she settled herself between them.

Kate was surprised to feel the girl lean her head on her shoulder and felt herself stiffen momentarily before she relaxed and wrapped an arm around Alexis' shoulders. She'd have to get used to all of this hugging. She glanced over Alexis' head and found Rick watching them with the most awed expression. His eyes met hers and he beamed at her, reaching over to lay his hand on the arm she had wrapped around his daughter.

"I always thought it was terrible that they just left Harry there. I mean, couldn't he have lived at Hogwarts?" Alexis murmured, breaking the adults out of their staring match.

"But that would have…"

"Ruined the carefully crafted and seamlessly woven plot that J.K Rowling meticulously planned out over seven books, so that less than three people were left without character arcs. I know!" she raised a hand and silenced her father.

"Why do I get the feeling that you two have had this argument before?" Kate laughed.

"Probably because she _always_ brings it up when we watch the movies," Rick replied. "J.K Rowling is a genius."

"I'm not arguing with you, Dad," Alexis sighed, her breath coming out in a puff onto Kate's shoulder. "I just mean, well, they left him there to be abused for 11 years, and then kept sending him back. I think Dumbledore could have taken better care of him, even if he needed him to battle Voldemort later."

"You don't like that Harry was put there just to make him more susceptible to Dumbledore's plan," Kate surmised.

"Exactly. Kids need adults who care, even if they're not family. Family, obviously, isn't always there for you. I just feel bad for him," she shrugged.

"I agree," Kate nodded, letting her fingers run through the hair that fell down Alexis' shoulders.

A hush fell over the three of them as they watched the little boy fight a troll and battle with a three-headed dog. Kate glanced over at Rick and their eyes met again. He smiled at her and she smiled back. The peaceful silence in the room, Alexis' head on her shoulder, Rick's smile— she was happy here. The panic was completely gone. Yesterday's horrors seemed a distant memory. Sitting here with the Castles was the most secure she'd felt in a long time.

It wasn't as if she was never here. She came over for dinner once and a while, and they'd spent more than one evening sprawled on his living room floor, looking at evidence. But she'd never been here this casually, this wholly. It was as if they'd adopted her all of a sudden, and her world was irreparably changed. This is what family felt like.

Kate's eyes widened as that thought passed across her mind. Rick's eyes widened comically in response before he cocked his head in a silent question. She smiled and shook her head, rolling her eyes. He seemed to take her look at face value (though she was sure he'd stew about it until they were alone and he could pester the answer out of her) and turned back to the movie, leaving Kate to her thoughts.

She looked back at the TV, but certainly wasn't paying much attention to Harry and his friends. Family. She had her father, and they saw each other when they could. They talked on the phone. There were holiday dinners.

But _this_ family— this family had movie marathons and laser-tag battles. This family had dinner together, and made breakfast. This family saw each other all the time. And they had wanted to see her. Alexis had wanted to include her. Martha had wanted to include her.

Her gaze flicked back to Rick. _Rick_, not Castle—it would always be Castle at work, but she wasn't sure that he could be Castle outside of the Precinct anymore. His hand was still running patterns on her arm near where it joined her shoulder, Alexis still cradled between them. He had caught her when she fell, in so many ways. And he had breathed life back into her that had been gone for years.

She wasn't ready today. She wouldn't be ready tomorrow. But soon, very soon, she'd be ready to take that plunge with him—to take the most terrifying leap of her life with him. Because here, with Alexis wrapped around her and Rick's fingers moving to card through her hair, Kate couldn't see another reality. If this family was willing to open itself for her, damn if she wasn't going to accept the invitation.

The movie ended and Alexis got up to switch them to the next.

"Do you want anything?" Rick asked them while Alexis fiddled with the DVDs.

"Water?" Kate asked.

"Same for me," Alexis agreed.

"I'll be right back," Rick smiled, letting his fingers fall from their place at the nape of Kate's neck before he stood.

"I'm going to hit the bathroom," Kate told Alexis.

The teen smiled and sat down on the couch, rearranging things. When Kate returned, Rick had returned from the kitchen and was settling in beside Alexis. Kate sat down beside the girl and the three sat shoulder to shoulder as the movie began. Alexis yawned after about fifteen minutes and Rick gave a small laugh. He grabbed a pillow and laid it on his lap before he pulled Alexis down to rest. Kate shifted so that the girl's legs lay across her lap. Within minutes, the teen was out cold.

"We're too much for her," Rick laughed.

"I know Martha said she slept, but I'm betting that she didn't sleep very well," Kate replied.

"Did I do the right thing?" he asked a few minutes later.

Kate looked over at him. "Sending them out of the city, you mean?" He nodded. "You wanted to keep them safe."

"I know, I just…if I hadn't come back, would she have been okay?"

Kate couldn't lie to him. "No, Rick, she wouldn't have." He looked stricken. "But she would still be alive."

He took a second to take that statement in, before he looked over at her. "You'll look after her if anything ever happens to me?"

"I told you I would," she replied seriously.

"Just checking," he said.

"You better make sure nothing happens to you," she told him after a pause.

"Likewise."

They stared at each other, the movie forgotten. They were making promises she knew neither of them could keep. And, though she knew it rationally, that didn't stop part of her from feeling secure. The rest of her felt a sinking terror that somehow, someday, he'd be taken from her. Alexis shifted and snuggled deeper into the couch and their bodies. Kate looked down at the girl and smiled. If she was going to lose Rick for some unknown reason, at least she'd have Alexis. At least Alexis would have her.

She looked up and saw Rick regarding the two women with very pensive eyes. He met her look and she saw unbridled gratitude. They were thinking the same thing. He reached over and grabbed one of her hands, twining their fingers together.

"I'm really glad you're here," he told her.

"There's nowhere I'd rather be today, Rick."

He looked at her, considered her. "Just today?"

The question surprised her. He wasn't generally someone who asked such blatant questions; well, that was a lie. But he didn't usually ask her those types of difficult questions—questions that had to do with her feelings— questions that had to do with _them_.

She thought for a moment. She delved deep into her feelings, opening the door to everything she'd kept shut for the past year. She pushed past the incident with Gina the previous summer. She pushed past the reservations she'd had that not seemed so inconsequential. She broke down that last wall, the one she'd kept up for so long, despite everything they'd been through together. And there, staring her in the face was the truth.

"Every day, Rick," she said quietly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: Thank you so much to everyone who has been reviewing. I am so amazed by the response to this story and am so very honored by all of your comments. Really, thank you.**

**

* * *

Chapter 6:**

They watched the rest of _Chamber of Secrets_ in silence. Or, rather, they stared at each other in a contented silence while the movie went on in the background. Each would smile and look away from time to time, or would take greater interest in their joined hands. It wasn't awkward, or bashful, but simply overwhelming. It wasn't as though they'd declared their undying love for one another, or exchanged promise rings, or something equally maudlin. But, for them, something had shifted, changed, jolted— their relationship had altered and they knew it.

"Do you want to watch the next one?" Rick asked as the credits rolled.

Kate glanced over toward the kitchen and saw that it was nearing noon. "Should we order lunch and wake the girls up? Then maybe we can watch three while we're eating?"

"Sounds good," Rick agreed. "I'll order and then we can get them up."

Kate nodded and waited as he called for the food. She toyed with the hand she was holding and bit her lip. She was waiting to feel scared. She was waiting to feel regrets. She was waiting to freak, to be honest. But no matter how she looked at it, she was sure about this, about him. That wasn't to say that they'd have an easy time of it. Lord knows just going back to the Precinct after their day watching movies would be odd enough. They would fight, and squabble. They'd get mad at each other and say things they didn't mean. They'd have to work to stay open, honest.

Rick squeezed her hand to bring her out of her thoughts. "What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked.

"Just thinking," she replied, smiling at him.

"Too much more thinking like that and you'll explode."

"Ah, well, now I guess we're even. You look like you're about to explode all the time. Life a little hard for you to handle, Ricky?"

Rick just stared at her, his mouth agape. "I have _so many_ responses to that, and none of them are appropriate for my daughter to hear."

"Thanks for that," Alexis mumbled into the pillow in his lap. "And really, Kate, you should be more careful," she rolled over and sat up. "Dad can make innuendo out of _anything_."

Kate laughed. "I think I may actually have more firsthand knowledge of that than you do."

"You're probably right. Sorry," Alexis giggled.

"Well, now you've got me to keep him in line too, so together, I'm sure we can straighten him out," Kate said conspiratorially.

"Perfect," Alexis grinned. "I'll go wake Grams so she's ready for lunch."

They watched her go upstairs and then Kate glanced over at Rick. He seemed caught between indignation and excitement. She was momentarily confused until she reviewed what she'd said to Alexis. While she should probably feel nervous for having been so forward, all she felt was humor at his reaction.

"I'll, um, go set the table," he told her, standing up and walking through to the kitchen.

Kate giggled and started cleaning up, collecting their dishes from the night before and folding some of the blankets to make more room for them later. She followed Rick into the kitchen and put their cups and his soup bowl into the sink. She began washing dishes almost mechanically, hardly realizing that she didn't do this every night.

"You don't have to do that, you know," he murmured.

Kate looked up to find him standing next to her, a hand extended to take the clean bowl from her. She handed it to him and watched as he dried it. "I know. I just, I like washing dishes."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

She shrugged. "It's calming? It's very normal, very quiet. Sometimes I like stuff like that, doing what we do."

He bumped her with his hip. "That makes sense. I do stuff like that too after tough cases."

"Writing?"

"Sometimes. Actually, if we've had a really tough case, writing isn't always best. Other times I clean, or cook. Stuff that doesn't take much thought."

She nodded in understanding. They went about finishing the dishes together, her washing and him drying. They heard Martha and Alexis come down the stairs just as Kate was finishing the last mug.

"Well, isn't this a wonderful display of domesticity!" Martha said happily. The doorbell rang. "Oh, and the meal I slaved over just arrived, how wonderful."

Kate and Alexis laughed while Rick went and got the food. They sat down around the table and passed the food among them, laughing about just how much food he'd ordered.

"Dad, this is getting ridiculous!" Alexis exclaimed as Rick pulled the seventh box from the bag.

"Kate and I never ate last night," Rick said, as if that explained it.

"We all had pastries a few hours ago," Alexis countered.

"Just take the food, Daughter," he commanded. "Eat, stuff yourself, and be happy."

"Yes sir!"

Martha and Kate exchanged amused looks as they piled their plates high with the amazing food. There was a period of quiet as everyone ate, simply sharing delighted looks.

"This is fantastic," Kate admitted as she went for seconds of the crab.

"You've had this Chinese before," Rick told her.

"I know, but usually we get the more generic stuff at the Precinct," she explained. "I rarely eat crab. It's incredible."

"Likes crab. Good to know," Rick replied.

Martha glanced between them and caught Kate's eye. Kate smiled and looked down at her food, a slight blush in her cheeks.

"Well, this calls for wine!" Martha announced.

The other three looked up at her, confused. Martha looked between Kate and Rick before meeting Kate's eyes again. Kate shook her head very slightly. She and Rick had hardly discussed anything, and nothing had _actually_ been said. She was excited, but they needed a few days, at the very least, to just sink into what had happened, before letting more happen.

Martha took a second and then smiled at her son and Alexis. "Good food should always include good booze!" she said. The other two simply shook their heads and Martha grinned, getting up to get the wine.

"Gram loves her wine," Alexis told Kate.

"Sometimes a little too much," Rick added from her left.

"I heard that," Martha countered as she sat back down and passed glasses to Rick and Kate.

They allowed her to pour for them, but neither drank much. Kate liked wine, but it was only noon. Rick gave her an amused look as he pretended to drink and they watched Martha simply demolish a glass while they ate. She didn't go for a second round, and instead, they all camped out in the living room to watch the third movie.

Martha sat in one of the armchairs and Alexis opted to sit in the corner of the couch so that she could curl up, leaving Rick and Kate to the other half of the large sofa. Rick sat first and Kate followed suit. They left a sizable distance between them and sat stiffly for the first quarter of the movie.

Kate glanced over at Martha and caught her watching them. She rolled her eyes at Kate, as if to say, "What are you waiting for?" Kate smiled shyly and let herself relax into the back of the couch. She leaned toward Rick a bit and pulled her legs up onto the couch next to her, so that her feet were near Alexis'.

Rick looked over at her and their eyes met. There was a moment of awkwardness before he lifted and arm and beckoned her toward him. Kate snuggled up to him and turned her face into his chest to hide her blush as he brought his arm down to wrap around her shoulders. It hadn't seemed so strange when they were alone, but now with Martha watching and Alexis two feet away, the gesture seemed much more important.

However, when Rick made a mocking comment about Snape and Alexis jumped down his throat, causing Martha to intervene a few minutes later, Kate began to relax and let herself enjoy the moment. They watched the next three movies in much the same way, laughing and joking with each other. Alexis and Kate had a foot battle and all three women managed to hit Rick with a pillow more than once. They snarked, they teased, they mocked— they had one of the best afternoon's Kate could remember. And they hadn't _done_ anything!

When the sixth movie finally ended at 7pm, everyone was feeling the effects of the weekend. They cleaned up their bowls from popcorn and ice cream and straightened up the living room. Rick offered dinner, but both Martha and Alexis were too tired, and opted instead to have sandwiches and head up to bed. Kate wasn't even hungry.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay home from school tomorrow?" Rick asked his daughter as he helped her make her snack.

"No, I think I'm ready for something normal," Alexis told him.

"Alright. But, if you change your mind, you let me know, okay?"

He pulled her in for a hug and Alexis laughed. "I promise, Dad. If I want to skip school for no good reason, I will let you know."

"That's my girl," he replied, leaning down to kiss her temple. "Love you."

"I love you too, Dad. Get some sleep," Alexis told him as they broke apart. She walked around the counter and Kate found herself with an armful of teenager as Alexis wrapped her arms around her. "Thanks for staying, Kate."

"Anytime, Lex," she replied softly, giving the girl a squeeze.

Alexis pulled back and they smiled at each other. "I'll hold you to that, you know," Alexis told her.

"And I'll gladly come over whenever I have the opportunity," Kate assured her. "Now get some sleep so you can enjoy that day at school you want to have."

"Will do."

The three adults watched her climb the stairs. Rick joined Kate on the bar stools and they looked at Martha across the counter.

"The two of you will sleep tonight," Martha told them.

"Yes, Mother," Rick said petulantly. Martha wasn't amused. "We will," Rick replied more seriously. "You have to promise to too."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be asleep before I know it," she said dramatically as she picked up her sandwich. "Thank you for being here today, Kate."

"Thank you for having me," Kate replied.

"It's our pleasure. Please come back as often as you like. And get some sleep!"

With that, they were alone. A slightly awkward silence descended as they sat there, their knees bumping together. After a few minutes, Rick took her hand and pulled her over to the window where they'd watched the sunrise. They stood side by side with their fingers entwined, looking out at the busy street that stretched on forever. The lights flared from cars and streetlights, but there was a peace to it, a familiarity.

"Tomorrow," Rick said quietly.

Kate squeezed his hand. "Tomorrow."

"Are you ready to go back?" he asked.

She turned to look at him. "Are you worried?"

He pulled her in front of him and wrapped his arms around her stomach, leaning his head against hers so they could look out of the window together. "I'm not worried, just…hesitant."

"Why?" she asked softly.

"We nearly died two times, three if you count the radiation scare."

"We won't be facing anything like that again," Kate assured him.

He gave a slight laugh. "I know. It's not that I'm scared of nearly dying, or worried about it even. It's just…"

Kate leaned back into him and pressed her head to his. "I know. But I'll be right there, telling you how annoying you are. And the boys will be there too. We're all okay, and it'll stay that way."

He nodded, the movement suffusing warmth throughout her body. She was glad he'd brought it up, because she wasn't feeling too confident herself. While she was a cop, and being in the line of danger was part of the job description, she didn't ever expect to be in that much danger. And she certainly didn't expect to be in that much danger with her partner right there, ready to die with her, when he wasn't even a cop himself.

"You're brave, Rick," she said quietly. She could feel his eyebrows rising, a sensation that made her smile. "You saved the city yesterday. You saved me not a day earlier, and then, well, let's not even bring up how many times you've stopped psychos from killing me."

"Can't watch you get gunned down, or blown up," he told her. "It would hurt too much."

They stood together for another long pause, simply watching the traffic go by. His breath on her neck and shoulder and his arms around her were so steady, so strong. Kate wasn't someone who needed people. She'd grown up in life and as a cop as someone who was completely and utterly independent. Wanting, needing, seeking—they were all things that made you weak. Sure, she had friends, even best friends, but she only asked for help when she couldn't possibly get by alone. Even then, she did it unwillingly. She was grateful for the people in her life, but she had boundaries and she kept them up.

Richard Castle had been the one person she'd leaned on over the years. Long before she'd physically met him, she'd been taking solace in his writing. When things became too much, when cases got too rough, when the death of her mother became too much to bear, she would sink into his world and let everything else float away. She'd escaped with him and he'd held her up when she felt like breaking and never standing again. And now, so many years later, here he was, holding her like his life depended on it.

He'd been her rock for so long, and now he was with her looking out at the city, just as real and scared as she was. And she was his solace too, she knew it.

"We have to sleep," she said.

"Are you staying?" he asked very softly.

Kate hadn't even considered that she'd be leaving before the morning. She hadn't thought about it at all, which should have surprised her, but honestly didn't. Should she leave? Would it cross another line to stay? They wouldn't be doing anything but sleeping, she was very sure of that. Would it hurt to seek comfort in each other? She may not _need_ anyone, but it was all right to want someone. It was all right to want to be here, with him, holding him, being held.

"If you'll let me," she replied just as quietly.

He chuckled into her ear and kissed her cheek. "Let you? You're such a ridiculous woman."

Kate smiled. "Takes one to know one."

"Oh, ouch, KB. That stings," he whined.

She smirked as he pulled away and grabbed her hand, leading her down the hall to his room. He guided her inside and shut the door. They looked at each other for a second and then laughed. Kate couldn't really say what was funny, but they were breaking down into hysterics, falling over each other and clutching at arms and shoulders to stay standing.

When they straightened up and caught their breath, Kate looked around the room. It had windows that looked out on the same alley as the window in the living room did. The bed was large, and she was confident that it had amazing sheets and the world's best mattress. He had a television and an ensuite bathroom. Would it be too much to declare the room hers and never go home?

"Like it?" he asked.

"Certainly qualifies as a bedroom," she replied.

He grinned. "It's the best bed ever. Just wait, it's like sleeping on clouds."

Kate rolled her eyes and gave him a small smile before a yawn took over her face. She hadn't realized she was so tired.

"Let's get you on that bed before you fall asleep," he chuckled, before he dropped her hand and began looking through his drawers.

Never one to let an opportunity pass, no matter her level of exhaustion, Kate sidled over to stand next to him and gazed down into his top drawer.

"You know, Kate, if you wanted to see my underwear, all you had to do is ask," he told her, a roguish grin splitting his face.

"I thought about asking you to drop your pants, but that seemed so forward," she smirked, patting his cheek as she took the proffered clothes. Then she strode into the bathroom.

"You're mean," he called through the door.

Kate laughed and went about getting ready for bed. She found a spare toothbrush under the sink and made quick work of changing into the sweats and baggy tee shirt he'd given her. She used the bathroom, glancing over at the enormous bathtub. She was too tired tonight, but she'd definitely have to capitalize on that. You could practically swim laps in it.

When she came out she found Rick pulling the bed down, now dressed in new sweats and a tee shirt, which fit him far better than it fit her. He turned around and noticed her watching him from the door of the bathroom. His gaze swept up and down her body and Kate fought a blush, which seemed ridiculous, since she was standing there in clothing that was six sizes too large.

"You look good, KB," he said as he passed her and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Kate flung herself down onto the bed face first and blushed into the pillows. When she was sure that her cheeks were no longer pink, she rolled over and took stock of what she was laying on. It really was like floating on a cloud. The sheets were like silk, though they were cotton, and the bed felt like it was made of air. She sank into the mattress and closed her eyes, luxuriating in the feel of his magnificent (though she'd never tell him that) bed.

"Like it?" Rick asked her. Kate opened her eyes and found him standing on the opposite side of the bed, fiddling with an alarm clock.

"Oh, sure, when you're in your bedroom, you're a ninja. But at a crime scene, you can't remember to turn off your phone."

He grinned. "I save the good stuff for the important places. 7?"

Kate nodded. "Hopefully, we'll have a quiet day."

Rick placed the clock on his bedside table, turned off the lights and got into bed, pulling the comforter up to his chin. He turned on his side and propped his head up on an arm. Kate did the same and they lay facing each other for a long while, each fighting sleep. They were exhausted, she knew it, but she was scared to close her eyes. It killed her that she'd let it get to her, but the what-ifs were waiting in her subconscious, and she had no desire to give in. They'd been so happy all day, but she couldn't help remembering her dream from just last night, and how awful it had been.

Rick seemed equally affected and kept blinking as his eyes tried to fall shut. He finally looked as haggard as she had felt the night before. Their banter and time with his family had been very comforting, but now, facing the depths of sleep, she could tell that he was on edge.

"Will you wake me if I have a nightmare?" she asked.

He let out a large breath of relief and smiled. "Of course. You'll do the same?"

Kate nodded and clasped his hand. "Partners."

Rick beamed. "Partners."

They stared at each other for another moment, heaps of affection passing between them. "Thanks for staying," he said quietly.

Kate smiled. "Thanks for letting me," she whispered.

He reached for her and she let him pull her to his chest, smiling as he kissed her forehead and murmured, "Ridiculous woman."


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: I want to thank everyone for reviewing and reading this story. I've been having a blast writing it, and your comments and hits have meant the world to me. This chapter is on the shorter end, but that's because I really liked where it ends. There will probably be another update later this week that will include some of our buddies from the Precinct.**

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Chapter 7:**

Kate woke in the middle of the night, shaking and disoriented. It took her a moment to realize that she wasn't shaking, but rather, she was being shaken. Rick's arms were wrapped tightly around her and he was shuddering in his sleep, his breath ragged against her neck.

"Rick," she whispered, attempting to turn around. Sometime in the night they had ended up spooning, and now she was trapped. His only response was to hold her tighter. "Rick," she tried again, a bit louder, as she ran a hand over his arm and brought one back to touch his cheek.

"Huh, Kate, I…" he woke with a start, his arms suddenly going slack around her.

She took the opportunity and rolled over, pulling away a bit so that she could look at his face. "Hey," she said quietly, raising a hand and running it over his cheek.

"Hey," he replied hoarsely.

"You were having a nightmare," she whispered.

He nodded. His eyes hadn't quite lost that glossy look yet, and she figured that he was still partially in the dream, too close to it to fully wake.

"Rick, look at me," she urged him.

His eyes met hers and after a moment, she watched the cloud lift. "I…" he murmured, squeezing his eyes shut for a second before meeting her gaze again. "You…"

"I'm right here, Rick," she told him, running her thumb over his cheek. "Right here. Very alive. Very real."

He blinked for a second before she found herself being pulled into his arms and felt his face resting against her forehead. The shaking was back and she held him as close as she could, hoping that she could help him ride it out. She pressed her face into his and said, "I'm here," over and over, listening as he tried to regulate his breathing. They lay there for a few minutes, merely clutching at each other before Kate felt him begin to calm down.

Eventually she drew back and looked down at him, propping herself up on her side. "You okay?"

"I…you…" he sighed, looking haunted. "We were in the freezer, at first. The boys came too late, and I watched you die. But then, you came back. It was like the dream stopped and restarted, like…like I didn't like the ending and rewrote it." She gave him an encouraging smile and ran a hand through his hair. "And it started again, and we were just outside the freezer, in the shoot out. And you shot one of them and then pushed me into the freezer, but you didn't get in quick enough. Instead you sort of fell in and I thought you were fine…"

Kate wasn't sure she wanted to hear the end of the story. By the look on his face, it ended as she expected it to. She'd experienced this terror the night before, and it had been one of the worst dreams she'd ever had. But somehow watching him go through it seemed ten times worse. But he needed to say it and she gave him a nod to coax him into continuing.

"So I closed the door and let go, and then you were on the ground with all of this blood spilling out. You got so pale and I kept telling you to stay with me— that help would be there soon, but it never came. I tried to stem the bleeding but I couldn't and there was so much blood. And you got so cold and white and you tried to speak but you couldn't, and blood came out of your mouth instead, and then the lights went out and you were gone."

"Oh, Rick," she said quietly, feeling tears stinging in the corners of her eyes.

"And I was just stuck there looking at your lifeless body and I couldn't do a damn thing about it and I…" he met her gaze and she was surprised to see tears slipping down his cheeks.

"I'm here, I promise," she assured him.

"Yeah, yeah I know you are," he replied, his hand sneaking up to run across her cheek, her hair, her neck.

"I'm sorry you had a nightmare," she whispered. "I was hoping we'd make it through without them."

"You're sorry? I'm sorry I woke you up."

She scoffed. "Be a man and take the comfort, Rick. We promised we'd wake each other."

He laughed, the sound a bit more fragile than it usually was. "I'm a man," he offered.

She smiled. "Good to know."

"How are you?" he asked, the shallow humor falling away.

"I'm good," she told him. "No more nightmares."

"Good." He sat up and leaned against the headboard, beckoning her to follow his lead. She did and then found herself wrapped in his arms, his cheek against hers.

It was as though they'd completely tossed out the physical barrier they'd held up for so long. The embrace wasn't romantic, per say, but it was intimate in a way she thought only they could be. So much had changed over the past week, and it didn't even feel the slightest bit strange to be wrapped up in Richard Castle, in his bed, at what must have been 3am.

"It was bad," he whispered.

She nodded against his chest. "I know. But I'm alive. Like you said last night, we're fine. We're here. I'm here."

"I know you are." She felt his arms tighten around her. "I know."

"Tell me a story," she said a few minutes later.

"What?"

Kate smiled. "Tell me a story. It'll take both our minds off of it."

She felt his chest rumble with hesitant laughter. "Alright, KB. There was once a ruggedly handsome writer…" Kate swatted his chest and laughed. "Do you want me to continue, or do you want to abuse me?" he asked with mock offense.

"Oh, no, so sorry. Do continue."

"Thank you! Anyway, there was once a handsomely rugged writer named, uh, Jameson Rook. And one day, just when he thought he'd never be inspired again, a devastatingly attractive Detective, Nikki Heat, approached him with a case. You see, someone had been copying the murders he wrote in his novels."

"Imagine that."

"I know, it's so creative of me. As I was saying, she needed his help." Kate snorted. "This is my story, missy, and I don't appreciate your commentary."

"My apologies."

"Thank you. She needed his help, and he agreed to consult when she asked."

"When she what?"

"Ah-ah-ah!" he chided, running a hand over her back. "How do you expect me to finish the story if you keep interrupting?"

"If you were telling the real story, I wouldn't be interrupting."

"Who says this is a true story?" Kate scrunched up her face. He had her there. "_Anyway_, Nikki and Rook began solving the case together. He was such a delight to work with, always helping and being cooperative."

"This isn't even a story! It's complete fantasy," Kate rolled her eyes.

"I thought you wanted a story?" Kate could practically hear the pout in his voice.

"I'm sorry, yes, I wanted a story. Do continue with your _very realistic_ story."

"Thanks, I will. So, they ended up solving the case together. But Rook wasn't ready to walk away when it ended, so he talked to his buddy the Mayor and got himself instated on Detective Heat's cases. And they solved crimes together, quite well too. He made her laugh and she inspired him. He pushed and she pushed back. He grew up, at least he likes to think so, and she had more fun. He pulled her pigtails and she taunted him shamelessly."

Kate smiled. "Sounds like they're a good team."

"Oh, they're the best. I mean, they've had their problems. He made the mistake of pushing too far once and their partnership nearly ended."

"I'm sure she was able to forgive him for that, once she knew he'd done it for the right reasons."

"He was very grateful for that. He's still not sure what he did wrong the second summer after they started working together, but he is sorry."

Kate sucked in a breath. They'd never actually talked about the Gina incident. While she wasn't happy that he'd gone back to his ex-wife, she knew that she was partly, if not mostly to blame for what happened that night. She shrugged and toyed with the hairs on the back of his neck. "I'm sure she's forgiven him. It probably wasn't even really his fault."

There was silence for a minute as Rick digested her comment. "Do, you, uh, want to hear the rest of the story?"

"Sure."

"So, he comes back from his summer home and they start working together again. You see, he'd gone there to finish the book he was writing about her, and he'd missed working with her at the Precinct pretty badly, so he was very happy to be back. And they worked for about seven months together, doing that banter thing they were oh-so-good at and kicking criminals to the curb."

"They sound pretty good at the crime solving thing."

"They are. They're great partners."

Kate felt her heart flutter at the quiet way he uttered _partner_. "How does the story end?"

"It's still a work in progress," he told her. "I'll let you know. You may have to wait a while though."

"Oh, are you planning a sequel?"

He laughed. "Well, Rook's planning on writing as many books as Heat will let him, so there could be many sequels."

"Somehow, I think she'll keep him around," Kate admitted, enjoying the freedom this little guise gave them.

"Will she now?"

"Mmmhm," she mumbled into his chest. "It's more fun to solve crimes if you're laughing."

"I'm remember that," Rick replied.

They slipped into a content silence while he ran his fingers through her hair. "Do you think you can go back to sleep?" she asked a few minutes later as she felt his breathing finally settling down.

"Probably," he said against her ear. "Can you? Were you sleeping okay before I, uh…"

She smiled and pulled back. "Best I've slept in a while, actually."

He tried and failed to keep his face from splitting into a grin. "Then let's get you back to that," he said lightly.

They lay down together and Kate rolled over so that her back was to his chest again. He didn't hesitate at all as he threw and arm over her stomach and pulled her close, nuzzling his face into her hair and neck.

"Night, Kate," he said sleepily.

"Morning, Rick," she whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: To the Precinct they go! I had a lot of fun writing this particular chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. **

**Emma**

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Chapter 8:**

"No."

Kate blinked in the low morning light and looked around. Rick's left arm was still laid across her stomach and her head was pillowed on his right.

"No," he mumbled again, pulling his arm tighter around her.

She realized after a moment that he was responding to the annoying buzzing that filled the room. His alarm had gone off, and apparently Rick wasn't a morning person. He nuzzled his face into her hair and pulled the blanket up to cover both of their heads before drawing her closer again.

"Rick." He didn't reply. "Rick."

"Shh. I'm sleeping!"

She laughed and felt his chest rumbling behind her. "We need to get up."

"It's still dark out."

"That's because you pulled the blankets over our heads."

"There you go again, ruining my story with your logic," he sighed into her hair.

"Yeah, well, if you want to spin any more stories today, you have to get up," she replied, smiling at the petulant whine he emitted before letting her pull the blanket back.

He rolled her over so that they were face to face. "Morning," he said glumly.

"Morning," she laughed. "Is it really that bad a morning?"

He glanced out the window. "Sunny day." He glanced at his clock. "After six." He turned back and gave her a significant look. "Gorgeous woman in my bed…it's shaping up to be quite a good morning, actually."

Kate found that her heart had skipped a beat. Damn him and his way with words. It was unfair that he could do that— leave her breathless like that— with no more than a sentence. And just when had she become so susceptible to his words? The voice that sounded like Lanie rolled its eyes at that thought. Could voices in your head roll their eyes?

"Ah, then you're just being whiny as usual," she finally managed.

His face looked affronted but his eyes were amused, probably at her reaction to his words and to the fact that she was teasing him, in _his_ bed, before eight in the morning.

"You wound me, Kate."

"You'll live," she snorted. "Now come on, we have to get up. I have to go home and change and get to the station. And you have a daughter to feed."

"And my mother, don't forget her," he replied as they disengaged, rolling to their respective sides of the bed.

Kate missed the warmth he'd provided all night as they went about gathering clothing and making the bed. When they were done folding down the sheets, they stood looking at each other across the bed. It almost felt like they'd left the protective bubble that had let them be just themselves the previous night. Now they were headed back to a situation with protocol and unspoken rules.

"Uh, you can have the bathroom first," he offered after a second.

"Right, thanks," she smiled and left him, closing the door softly behind her.

She dressed quickly and brushed her teeth, throwing her hair into a ponytail. She stared at her reflection and let out a small sigh. She had deep bags under her eyes and you could see the wear the last few days had taken on her. She didn't have make up here, so she couldn't do anything about it either. Though, to be fair, Rick didn't seem to care how she looked, which was…which was refreshing and warmed that spot right above her stomach.

She turned the handle and stepped back into the bedroom to find it empty. She pulled on her socks and padded her way out to the kitchen, where she found the whole Castle family seated around the island while Rick made a fast batch of eggs.

"Morning," she said hesitantly, coming to stand at the side of the island.

"Morning, Kate," Alexis greeted, looking up from a textbook that was sitting in front of her.

"Morning, dear," Martha replied. "Are you staying for breakfast?"

Rick turned to look at her. She looked back and realized that the sinking feeling she had was disappointment. She wanted to stay but couldn't. "I'm sorry Martha, I have to get back to change so I'm not late for work. Some of us," she found her smile again, "can't waltz in at all hours."

Rick smirked. "Yet one of the many benefits of not actually being a cop."

"Dad, don't gloat," Alexis said without looking up.

Kate and Martha laughed while Rick grumbled and served the eggs.

"Thank you for the invitation, though," Kate said to Martha.

"You're welcome. It's an open invitation, so feel free to be here for breakfast another day," she replied carelessly.

Kate didn't blush, but that wasn't to say that it wouldn't have been warranted. "I might just take you up on that. I'll see you at the Precinct?" she asked Rick as she found her phone.

"I'll be there in about an hour or so?"

"Sounds good. Have a good day at school Alexis."

"Thanks, Kate," the girl said, prying her eyes out of her textbook. "Have a good day at work."

"Thanks," Kate smiled.

"Try not to die today, if you would," Martha offered.

Kate and Rick laughed. "I'll work on that for you. See you soon."

Rick joined her over by the door and helped her into her jacket. Then they stood looking at each other.

This was something they hadn't discussed. Obviously, they'd crossed more than one line last night, even though nothing had happened. She looked into his eyes and saw uncertainty, an emotion he didn't often give off. They would have to be the same at work, no matter what. Bomb or no bomb, Josh or no Josh, she would be Beckett and he would be Castle. They had a job to do and anything that happened between them couldn't get in the way of that. But, as she watched him struggle to find something to say, she realized that they needed the clarification, even if it couldn't follow them to the station.

"I'll see you in a bit, Rick," she told him.

She watched with amusement as he tried to settle his face into an expression, while shock, excitement, happiness and the urge to play it cool fought for dominance. "Right. See you there, Kate."

She gave him a grin and left, closing the door behind her. She got into the elevator and made her way to the street, a smile on her face. She hadn't gotten nearly as much sleep as she should have; in fact, she'd had less sleep in the past three days than she usually got in a week. But even so, she felt more relaxed and energized than she had in a long time, possibly since before the Lockwood case.

Kate hailed a cab and went back to her apartment to shower and eat a bowl of cereal. Part of her wished that she'd stayed at Rick's for breakfast. It certainly would beat the frosted flakes she was eating. For balance, she grabbed an apple she was surprised was still good and charged over to the Precinct. She got to her desk and set her things down and then strolled into Montgomery's office.

"Beckett," he greeted, smiling at her. "How was your day off?"

"Peaceful," she replied. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm here. Were there any calls?"

"Surprisingly, no. It's almost like the killers in our area knew you needed a rest," he grinned. "So it looks like it'll be a slow day. How's Castle holding up?"

Kate paused for a second. Did she know how _Castle_ was doing? She certainly knew how Rick was doing…

"He's fine," she smiled. "His family got back yesterday."

"Tell him to come say hello when he gets in, would you?" Montgomery told her. There was something in his look that told her he was not buying it. But, in true form, she decided to take evasive maneuver 12, and fled the office with a quick nod.

"Hey, Beckett," Ryan greeted as he came in. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well, Ryan. Thanks. How are you?"

"I'm good. Jenny got back from her parents' yesterday."

Kate smiled. "I'm glad you got some time together."

"Yeah, it was good. You and Josh do anything fun?"

She could tell that he wasn't thrilled about her relationship—her ex-relationship— with Josh, but he was trying. She loved her boys, though she'd never tell them that, at least not at work. They were always there for her, and that was something special that she'd always be grateful for.

Now, what to tell the boys about Josh— that was another matter all together. Lanie would kill her if she didn't hear it first.

"He's going back to Haiti," Kate shrugged, figuring that it was a neutral enough answer.

"Oh, well, that's…" Ryan trailed off.

"Noble of him," Kate supplied.

"Right. Yes. Well, I ought to go to my desk."

Awkward Ryan was always fun. Esposito rolled in a little while later and gave her a wave. A minute later her cell rang and Kate looked down to see that she had a text from Lanie.

_Javier told me what happened. Are you okay? Writer boy pulled ALL the wires?_

Kate smiled at her friend's concern and typed a message back:

_ We're both fine. And yes, Castle did pull ALL the wires out_.

Kate turned on her computer and began going through her email, glancing up to greet the passing uniforms and other Detectives as everyone came in for the day.

_Get your butt down here_.

Kate laughed and stood. "I'm going down to the morgue. Let me know if anything comes up, or if Castle comes in."

"Can't wait to see him?" Esposito teased.

Kate just rolled her eyes and got into the elevator. They didn't need to know that it was true. She leaned back against the rail on the ride down and smiled, thinking back on the past day and night before. Being back at work felt remarkably normal, but somehow, she felt more comfortable for knowing that after work, there was a place to have a normal _life_.

She pushed open the doors to the morgue once the elevator let her out and laughed. Perhaps nothing about her life was normal. Lanie was sitting on one of the examination tables, a muffin in one hand and a coffee in the other.

"_Javier_ pick that up with you?" Kate asked.

"So what if he did?" Lanie shrugged and then grinned and happily took a bite of the muffin. "Now, spill."

"I thought Espo would have filled you in already." Kate hopped up on the opposite table and swung her legs a bit, a habit she had never really kicked.

"He told me his side. But he wasn't there when you guys disarmed the bomb."

Kate took a deep breath. "It was terrifying, Lanie," she said honestly. "I really thought we were going to die. We tried sending Fallon a picture, but it didn't go through, and he was on the other line saying 'I'm sorry.' And I'm looking at this bomb that says we have 15 second to live…" she had to take a moment to clear the terror from the memory. "And I look over at Rick and he just takes my hand and we stare at each other, with all this stuff hanging there between us. And then he sort of gave me one last look and then turned and yanked all the wires out."

"And then?"

"And then there wasn't an explosion," Kate laughed a bit, feeling herself calm back down. She hadn't expected the story to get her so worked up.

"And you didn't hug or anything?" Lanie raised an eyebrow.

"There may have been a celebratory hug," Kate said evasively. "But it was quickly followed by one of Castle's more enthusiastic victory dances."

"Oh, so he's Castle still?"

Kate blinked. "What?"

"Well, in that little story of yours—which is horrifying, might I add—you called Castle, "Rick." But a second ago, he was back to Castle. So, tell me, Miss Beckett. Which is he?"

"There's, ah, a back story to this," Kate admitted. There really was no use hiding anything from Lanie, and Kate found that she really didn't want to. That's what girlfriends were for, right? Telling secrets?

"Do tell!"

"Um, Josh and I broke up."

Lanie gaped. "You broke up with Dr. Smokin' Hot Motorcycle Boy?"

"That got to you too? Man he's good." Kate shook her head. "But yes, we broke up."

"Why?"

"He was going to go to Haiti. He'd only stayed in town to try to iron things out. But…I don't want someone who isn't here half of the time. I want someone I can dive into it with, you know?"

Lanie looked like she was trying very hard not to smile. "Uh-huh. So, how exactly does this make Castle into Rick?"

"Okay, so there's back story to the break up too. Alexis texted me and asked if I was okay. I didn't know what to tell her, so I called Castle. And we ended up talking for close to two hours."

"And Josh was?"

"Passed out on the couch," Kate shrugged while Lanie looked angry for her. "It was what it was. But, I realized that we couldn't have a future if he was asleep and I was talking to Castle to keep from falling apart, you know?"

"Yeah, I do."

"So we had a talk and broke up. And then I fell asleep on the couch…"

"Are you sure it's not the couch?" Lanie joked.

Kate laughed. "Pretty sure."

"Sorry, do continue."

"I had this awful nightmare, about being trapped in the freezer, and when I woke up I just…I really needed to see him. So I went over and we, uh, rode out to see the stars?"

Lanie squealed. "Ah! Girl, this is getting good. Tell me there's more?"

Kate nodded shyly while her friend grinned. "We went back and watched movies on his couch under what must have been every single blanket in the house."

Lanie held up a hand. "Now, were the two of you on opposite ends, or were you _sharing_ the blankets?"

Kate blushed. "There may have been some snuggling involved."

"Best story ever," Lanie said happily. "Did you fall asleep there?"

"We didn't sleep at all. No, not like that!" she rolled her eyes at her friend. "We just…it was too fresh. So we just kind of lay there until the sunrise, which we watched from one of the windows. Then we ate the most _amazing _pastries and lay back down until Martha and Alexis came back."

"Were they okay? How much did he tell them?"

"Enough to get them out of the city, but not the whole story. He didn't want Alexis, or Martha for that matter, to know that we'd been about a second away from being blown to pieces."

"He's a good father," Lanie said.

"He really is," Kate nodded.

"Did you stay there all day?" Kate bit her lip and Lanie gasped. "You stayed two nights in a row?"

"We had a movie day all day yesterday. All of the Harry Potter movies, per Alexis' request. And then, when it was over we just weren't ready to…to let go, yet?"

Lanie's excited eyes softened. "Oh Hun, of course not. I'm surprised you're not attached at the hip by now. You've almost watched each other die how many times?"

"Too many," Kate agreed. "But, we are alive."

"And closer than ever, apparently." The grin was back. "Is there anything you're not telling me?"

Kate laughed. "As much as I'm sure your reaction would be worth it, no, there's nothing I've left out."

"You mean you faced death three times in what, 48 hours? And you haven't jumped each other yet, or at least admitted that you'd like to, or you're going to?" Kate shook her head. "Girl, I'm seriously gonna smack you."

"We didn't say anything but does just knowing it count?"

"Back up. You just _know_ it now?"

Kate nodded very slowly. "I had this moment when we were on the couch and I just kind of knew, and then when Alexis and Martha were there and we were eating…it felt like a family, Lanie. Like…like…"

"Like it hasn't since your mom died?"

Kate blew out a breath. "Exactly."

Lanie beamed. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks," Kate smiled. "But nothing's happened yet, and I don't think it will, for a little while at least."

"Yeah, see how that goes for you. I'm sure that's what will happen," Lanie rolled her eyes.

"Lanie!"

"Well, please! You know it. He knows it. I know it. The boys know it…come on, Girl! Why wait?"

"Because this could be it, Lanie," she said very quietly. "And if it is, I want it to happen, not to just pass us by and ruin this wonderful thing we already have."

"Katherine Beckett." Kate looked up to find Lanie looking very close to tears. "That may be the most mature, wonderful, beautiful thing I have ever heard you say." Kate blushed and rolled her eyes while Lanie wiped at hers. "Now, go on upstairs. I'm sure your Writer boy is here."

"Writer Man," Kate correctly automatically, laughing as she did. "And don't you mention anything to _anyone_, and that includes your not-so-secret boyfriend."

"My lips are sealed."

They hopped off the examination tables and looked at each other before Lanie pulled her in for a hug.

"I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," Kate said as they pulled back. "You know, I think I am too."

"Go on!"

Kate laughed as she was pushed out of the morgue. She smiled all the way up to the bullpen, unable to stop herself. She got out of the elevator, attempting to school her features and then stopped short as she came up to her desk and found her seat already occupied.

"Morning, Beckett," Rick said, turning to look at her and extending a coffee.

She took the beverage with a smile. "Good morning, Castle. Thank you for the coffee. Now get out of my chair."


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: This chapter is fluffy, dangerously fluffy. I hope you enjoy it. Though, to be honest, **_**nothing**_** can beat last night's episode. So much genius!**

**Emma**

**

* * *

Chapter 9:**

"You wanna come back to Casa Castle for dinner?" Rick asked as they gathered up their coats.

It had been a surprisingly quiet day at the 12th, and now that it was 6pm, they had no reason to be there. And while pizza with the boys, a rousing game of poker and mind-numbing paperwork were fun, Kate was more than ready to flee the building. And well, dinner at Casa Castle sounded heavenly.

"That sounds good, Castle, thanks."

He grinned and they got into the elevator together, standing with their sides brushing together, as was their standard. Kate caught Ryan and Esposito watching them from their desks and she felt herself blush a bit, though she couldn't imagine why. They'd acted just as they always did; they flirted, they teased, they got on each other's nerves. They were Beckett and Castle. How had the boys picked up on anything?

She glanced over at Rick and found him looking back at her. He quickly looked away, but she caught the look he'd been giving her. It was a cross between, "I'm so glad you're alive," and "I never want to look at anyone else," and it made her heart flutter. Perhaps she'd have to talk to him about the moony face, and how that _was not_ appropriate office behavior. But then she'd have to talk about the moony face…and he'd probably mention that she had one too…and that would spark an entirely different conversation that she wasn't quite ready to have yet.

She shook her head and smiled as they stepped out of the elevator, one of his hands finding its way to the small of her back. They got into her car and he immediately turned on the radio and began flipping through stations.

"Castle," she said as she backed up and pulled out of the parking lot. He flipped to another station. "Castle," she reprimanded. Another switch. "Rick!" she exclaimed as they drove down the street.

The music stopped and he looked over at her, a small grin on his lips. "Yes?"

Kate glared at him and decided that it was better to stay silent than to acknowledge that he'd won. Instead, she settled on a name-neutral line of questioning. "What's for dinner?"

"Alexis mentioned this morning that she'd like spaghetti and meat sauce, so I figured I'd whip that up when we got back? I can even make bread sticks, if that'll sway your vote."

Kate laughed. "You invited me over for dinner; I'm hardly in a position to argue about the menu."

"I mean, yeah, most people like spaghetti, but I wouldn't want to make you eat something you hate," he shrugged.

"You mean like the time you coerced me into eating cows' feet?"

He laughed. "Oh, yeah. You liked it though!"

"Ever make me eat something like that again, and your ear will be the least of your worries."

"Should I buy a nose guard, assuming I accidentally do this to you again?" he asked, grinning.

"Cup would be more practical," she replied, shrugging.

The face he made in response was priceless, and Kate was pretty sure he'd covered himself out of perceived defense.

"Oh don't be such a baby," she rolled her eyes.

"I've felt your grip on my nose, and believe me, I'm not being a baby," he muttered back.

Kate smirked and parked the car outside his building. They got out and hurried inside to escape the blustery winter wind. Kate wished it would feel more like March.

"Isn't it supposed to be lambing now?" Rick commented as they stepped into the elevator.

"Lambing?"

"You know, 'March comes in like a lion, but goes out like a lamb,' hence, lambing."

Kate was struck by two things. The first was how ridiculous the term 'lambing' was. The second was the fact that they'd been having the _exact_ same thought.

"You can't just make up words," she settled on rolling her eyes.

"I can so too!"

"Says who?"

"You rhymed," he grinned.

"This is ridiculous." Kate got off the elevator ahead of him and heard him following her. She fought the grin she knew had spread across her face.

Rick caught up to her and opened the door, guiding her inside. He took her coat and hung it up while Kate walked over to the counter, where Alexis was camped out with a mountain of homework.

"I thought you had a test today," she remarked, glancing over the girl's shoulder to see her doing Physics work.

"I did," Alexis sighed. "But Mrs. Calahan wants us to get ready for the next unit."

"Well, that sounds terrible," Kate sympathized.

"Want me to send her an autograph as a bribe?" Rick asked as he bustled around the kitchen and pulled out ingredients.

Alexis snorted and Kate shook her head. "Is your ego really that big, Rick?"

"You called me Big Rick!" he beamed.

"Your father seems to have caught a case of the immatures today, Alexis," Kate told the girl.

Alexis laughed. "You've been working with him for how long now? I thought you knew that he was like this every day."

"I can hear you," the man in question told them. "I'm standing right here."

Kate and Alexis turned identical looks on him and he gasped. "You're corrupting her!"

"What?"

"You! Alexis just rolled her eyes at me!"

Kate laughed. "Oh, Rick. You just haven't seen her to it before, am I right, Lex?"

Alexis grinned. "All the time."

He just stared at them before he turned around and began boiling water and opening jars and packages, his shoulders slumped.

"Uh-oh," Kate stage whispered. "I think we made him sad."

"He'll get over it," Alexis laughed. "I'm gonna go upstairs and finish this, and then I'll be back for dinner. I'm glad you're here," she told Kate.

Kate smiled and then startled as Alexis stood and gave her a one armed hug, grabbing her books with the other. Kate squeezed her back and then watched her leave the room. She glanced over at Rick and found him leaning against the counter, his arms over his chest and a small smile on his lips.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he shrugged. "It's nice that you guys get along."

"Not getting along with your daughter would be like hating Bambi, Rick."

"Nice use of Disney," he laughed. "You wanna help me make the sauce?"

Kate arched an eyebrow. "Asking your guests to help prepare the meal? What would your Mother say?"

"My Mother? She'd be thrilled. The woman can't cook."

Kate laughed and joined him at the counter, obligingly chopping up the tomatoes he handed her. "Where is Martha, by the way?"

"She's got a dinner tonight with friends, so it'll just be the three of us."

"How's everything going with her school?"

"It's going very well. She's having the space remodeled and searching for teachers. She's very excited. I think it'll be good for her."

Kate watched him as he spoke. He looked proud. She smiled. Though the relationship he and Martha shared was definitely on the less conventional side (you know something's up when "I love you," means, "Help! I'm a hostage!"), they obviously cared very deeply for each other. Martha was lovely. And Rick, well, suffice it to say that Martha Rogers had raised a good man.

"How's your Dad?" Rick asked.

Kate smiled. "He's doing well."

"Have you spoken to him since…well, you know?"

Kate's smile fell. She hadn't. She'd been so worried about Rick and Alexis and Martha that she'd totally forgotten to call her Dad like she usually did. "I haven't, actually. Do you mind if I give him a quick call now? I didn't call him last night, and I usually do."

"Not a problem. You can use my office," he gestured across the room.

"I know where your office is," she laughed. "I have been here before."

"Oh, I know," he leered at her.

"So not the time for an inappropriate moment, Castle," she rolled her eyes and strode over to the office, shutting the door behind her.

"Now I'm back to Castle? That's not fair!" he called after her.

Kate smiled and plopped herself down in his chair, swinging her feet up onto the desk. She figured she owed it to him to treat his desk like he treated hers. Though, to be fair, his chair was _much_ more comfortable than hers was.

She hit speed dial four and waited. "Hi Dad."

"Katie! How are you? I didn't hear from you yesterday."

Kate blushed guiltily. "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm doing well. I was just very busy." She hated lying.

"With that Writer Boy of yours?"

And apparently she wasn't very good at it. "Uh…yes?"

"I'm glad you two have finally opened your eyes. I was beginning to worry that you'd be beating around the bush forever."

"Dad…"

"He's a good man, Katie. I'm very happy for you."

"Dad…"

"I will get to meet him someday, won't I?"

"Dad!" Kate finally cut in.

"What?"

"We're not technically together."

She heard him sigh and shook her head. "Why not?"

"There's been a lot of stuff in the way."

"Like your Doctor boyfriend?"

"Josh and I broke up, actually…" Kate stammered. It had been a while since he'd been able to railroad her this way.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Katie. And here I am blathering on about someone else. Are you alright?"

Kate gave a small laugh. "I'm just fine, Dad. It was a long time coming."

"I'm glad then. Are you feeling good about it?"

"Kate! Dinner's nearly ready," Rick called through to the office.

"Ah, I see you're doing quite well," Jim laughed.

Kate blushed. "I'm doing really well, Dad. But, I've gotta go. We're…I'm having dinner with Rick, _Castle_, and his daughter."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself there, Katiebug. Tell them I say hello. I'll talk to you soon."

"Love you, Dad."

"Love you too. Bye."

She stared down at the cell phone in her hand. Her father had just completely pulled one on her. And she'd let him! She wanted to punch something, or throw herself on the couch and giggle, or…well, blush until she turned 40.

"Kate?" Rick poked his head into the study and Kate looked up, desperately hoping that she didn't look as flustered as she felt. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," she smiled. "Dinner's nearly ready?"

"Yeah," he replied, peering at her, as if just looking at her face would unlock the secrets to her behavior. With Rick, that was always possible.

"My Dad says hello, by the way," she told him while they set the table.

"Tell him I say hi back, the next time you talk. Alexis!" he called up the stairs.

He grabbed the spaghetti pot and Kate got the sauce while Alexis came down stairs and slid into the kitchen. Then they were seated around the table and passing food around.

"Did you have a case today?" Alexis asked as she gave herself a liberal helping of sauce.

"No. Just paper work and shenanigans," Rick replied.

Alexis looked over at Kate. "He's telling the truth, actually. Poker games can count as shenanigans."

"You played poker at the Precinct?"

Kate laughed. "Sometimes that's all there is on a quiet day. Paperwork, poker games and ordering in are a staple for us."

"Well, at least you have ways to pass the time," the girl conceded.

"How was school? Other than your unfair Physics work?"

"It was good. Nothing particularly special. Though someone did pants one of the jocks and he toppled down the stairs, screaming like a little girl. He's fine, so I figure it's okay to laugh."

Kate and Rick stared at her for a second before Kate laughed. "Is he someone you don't get along with?"

"Tell me it was Jason Randle," Rick pleaded.

"It was Jason Randle, and no, I don't get along with him," Alexis replied.

Rick punched a fist in the air. "That's justice served."

"What's the issue with Randle?" Kate asked. She'd never seen Alexis be mean spirited about anyone before.

"He told half the school that he'd, um, had relations with me a few weeks ago. Ashley knew it wasn't true, so that was fine. But the rest of the school was a bigger problem."

"That's horrible!" Kate replied. "I'm so sorry. Guys are jerks."

"Yeah," Alexis gave her a smile. "But, you know, they don't seem so tough when they're tumbling down the stairs and shrieking."

"Okay, level with me. Did Paige pants him?" Rick asked.

Alexis shrugged. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't tell me she pushed him down the stairs too?" Kate asked, not sure whether to be impressed or horrified.

Alexis grinned. "Of course not. She's vindictive, not evil! He fell all on his own, and it wasn't even the pants. It was his floppy hair."

Kate laughed. "Then well done Paige!"

"If he'd gotten hurt it would have been a different story, and we're really lucky that he didn't, but…well…I mean…he's fine. Now his ego's wounded, but that's all."

"I don't fault you for laughing," Kate told her.

"And I certainly don't," Rick added.

Alexis grinned. "Good. Because it was _really_ funny."

"I'm willing to bet someone got video footage," Rick hedged.

"Oh, what did you think I was planning to do all night?" Alexis asked innocently.

Kate watched as they quipped back and forth. She knew Rick was an amazing father, but it was always fun to get to see him in action. So often she only saw the part of him that was insecure about his abilities—the part of him that asked her for advice. And while she enjoyed that dynamic quite a bit, this was something else. Getting to be part of the picture was fun.

Soon she was swept up in a detailed account of all of the other, very creative, ways Paige had come up with to punish the now infamous Jason Randle. She even surprised herself by offering a few of her own, for future use.

"Katherine Beckett, I never imagined that you were this devious!" Rick exclaimed after Kate had suggested adding red-hot sauce to Coca Cola.

"You didn't think that the boys came up with those pranks last year, did you?" she grinned.

"I knew you were behind the orchestration, but I thought they had…" he trailed off. "That was mean!"

"Well, yeah, but it was funny," Kate smirked.

Alexis watched their back and forth with amusement. "I heard about the Curse pranks. Those were pretty great."

"Yes, the good Detective got me. Can we all move on now?"

"Fine. What's for dessert?" Alexis asked.

Rick glanced over at the large box of pastries. "We still have some Stragovis left."

"I call the last churro!" Alexis jumped up and made a beeline for the box. A second later, Rick was chasing after her, leaving Kate stunned at the table. Were they like this all the time?

They returned after a minute, brandishing their pastries like weapons and laughing. Rick extended the box to Kate, who picked one of the Cinnamon buns (she'd secretly been thinking about one all day).

"You know, I'm going to have to work out twice as hard for a month because of this," she remarked as she took a bite.

"You look great," Rick countered.

"Yes, well, the key to looking this great—thank you— is to work off all excess calories."

"Oh, I know," he scoffed.

"What, are you pumping iron while you write?"

Alexis grinned. "Dad goes running."

"Where?" Kate asked. She'd never known this about him.

"I have a treadmill upstairs," he replied. "You never asked when you stayed here, and it was only once you were already in your new place that I ever thought to mention it, since you train at the Precinct."

"How have you never talked about this? I would have thought you'd want to compete with the guys."

Alexis giggled and Rick glared at her. "I'm not, ah, very good at it. I use it to keep in shape…but it's not a pretty picture."

"It's hilarious! He huffs and puffs, even though he's in shape."

"I also fence," he added defensively. "And you'll notice that I don't 'huff and puff' while doing that."

"It's all right, Rick, you're not being compared to any standard," Kate patted his arm.

He looked down at her hand. "Now you're just patronizing me," he pouted as he stood and gathered plates. "You up for a movie, Lex?"

"I'm sorry, but I've got more homework," she replied. "You guys should watch something though."

Kate kept her face straight, but was laughing inside. Alexis' attempt at subtly was very poor, but it came from a good place. "Sounds good," she smiled at the girl.

"Good. I guess I'll see you later then?" she asked as she stood.

"I'll be here for a while," Kate nodded.

Alexis grinned. "Okay. See you later. Thanks for clearing Dad!"

And then there were two.

"So, what movie?" Kate asked, getting up and plopping herself down on the couch.

Rick joined her, sitting right beside her, their sides practically smashed together. "I don't know. What do you want to watch?"

Kate shrugged. "No idea."

"Want to watch TV?"

"Sure." She smiled as his face lit up and he grabbed the remote before leaning back and into her, as if it was something they did all the time.

As they sat there, flipping through channels, each one vetoing shows in turn, Kate felt content. It felt like it _was_ something they did all the time. Like dinner with Alexis and sniping at each other as they tried to agree on something to watch was just commonplace.

"Stop!" she said as an episode of _The Big Bang Theory _came on.

Rick turned to her, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. "You like _The Big Bang Theory_?"

"Yeah. Why?"

He just stared at her for a second. "That's so hot!"

Kate blushed, but quickly regained herself. "Why?"

"Because! It's such a nerdy show."

"Well, if your standards are all like those, you're in for a load of surprises," she said, smiling as his eyes widened.

"That's so…I don't…I can't…I…"

"Just watch the show, Rick."


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: This is a short, yet rather important chapter. It was more difficult to write than the others have been. I hope you like it. **

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 10:**

"You know, maybe I should try operant conditioning on you," Kate said as the credits rolled after their third episode.

Rick raised an eyebrow. "What do I get if I'm a good boy?" he asked, his face splitting into a leer.

Kate looked up at him. She was nestled against his side, one of his arms around her shoulder, his fingers playing with her hair. She'd wrapped an arm around his stomach and he'd covered their legs with one of the light throws.

"I wasn't talking about sexual favors," she deadpanned.

His face fell for a second before an excited grin reappeared. "Would I get chocolate? Oh, no. My own cuffs? Points toward a puppy?"

Kate laughed. "You _are_ nine, aren't you?"

"Come on! Tell me what my prize is," he whined.

"I take it back," she sighed, putting her head back down.

"That's not fair," he pouted.

"Of course it is. I'm in control of the reward, and I've decided that you don't deserve it."

"How ever will you control me if you don't have a system?"

Kate reached up and pinched his ear very lightly, laughing as he squirmed and tried to get away. "I have my methods."

"I'm always open to methods that don't include bodily harm, you know," he groused as she let her hand fall down to wind into his shirt.

"I'll keep that in mind," she yawned.

"Getting sleepy?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," she mumbled, hardly caring that she was just about falling asleep on him. He was _comfortable_.

"Do you want to stay over?"

The question brought her back out of her haze. Did she? Could she? They weren't a _something_…at the moment, they were just very cuddly friends. Friends could be cuddly. The voice at the back of her head reminded her that she'd never had a 'cuddly' friend before. Anyone who started that way quickly became a boyfriend, or a stand. Rick wasn't a one-night stand, or even a two-night stand.

"I…" she stammered, unwilling to raise her head just yet.

"You can," he told her, a hand rubbing over her shoulder and neck. "We have a guest room too, if you'd be more comfortable with that."

Kate Beckett didn't hide. Kate Beckett didn't shy away from things. She was a Detective, damnit, and a good one at that. She could handle an awkward conversation, could she not?

"I'll be honest with you," he continued, bringing her out of her internal standoff. "I don't really want you to go."

Kate felt her breath catch. Were they? Was he? His hands pulled her up so that they were sitting face to face. They stared at each other, her hand finding his, their fingers winding together.

"I don't want to go either," she admitted quietly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

He smiled. "Bed?"

Kate nodded and they stood. Rick led her to his room by the tips of his fingers. Like the previous night, Kate stood and looked at the room while he closed the door and turned on the lights. He then came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her stomach, resting his head against hers.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked, pressing a kiss to the side of her face.

Kate smiled and let her hands fall to rest on his arms. "I'm…I'm happy," she sighed. He squeezed her tighter and she felt him smiling against her cheek. "We're…you've been…I…" she let her head fall back against his shoulder. "I'm usually more eloquent than this."

He chuckled softly. "Words can't be easy all the time."

"Says the bestselling author."

"You do remember that I started following you partly because you broke me out of my longest bout of writer's block, right?"

She laughed. "Right."

"But really, Kate, whatever you need to say, I'm here to listen."

The very last of her resolve crumbled and she felt her body fully relax into his. "I want to stay here, Rick," she whispered. "I want to wake up tomorrow and see you and…and dive into it together."

Arms were turning her before she'd even finished speaking and she suddenly found herself face to face with him. They stood there for a moment, lost in each other's eyes.

"Kate, are you sure?" he murmured as he ran a hand over her cheek.

She raised a hand and covered his with it, a small, nervous, excited smile making its way onto her face. "I am."

There was a second's pause before his other hand came to cup her cheek and then he was leaning toward her. Their lips met tentatively, in a way that was completely unlike their undercover kiss. This kiss was light and testing, yet full of promise and aching with the restrained hint of passion. Her heart fluttered. Her knees quaked. Her body tingled.

Her arms found their way around his neck and one of his dropped to pull her closer by her waist. His fingers tangled in her hair and his hand rubbed patterns on her hip while their lips explored. She felt a moan rise in her throat and was thrown into a brief déjà vu, remembering the last time he'd elicited that sound from her. When his tongue nipped out to brush against her bottom lip in response, she decided that this kiss far outdid their last.

Air eventually became necessary and they pulled apart, their foreheads resting together as they fought to regain their breath.

"That was…" he stammered.

"Amazing," she finished.

He grinned. "Yeah."

Kate leaned up and pressed their lips together again for a brief moment before she tugged him closer and buried her face into his neck, smiling as he wound his arms tightly around her body, holding her close. He was…they were…it was incredible, how right it felt. How right _they_ felt.

"We should go to sleep," he murmured after a few minutes.

Kate nodded against his neck and they gently disengaged, only to stand looking at each other, neither quite able to keep the smiles from their faces. Kate blushed as he stared at her, the expression on his face causing her stomach to flip. He looked at her like he'd never seen a single other woman before—like she _was_ the earth and sky. It made her slightly uncomfortable, but also made her feel more cared for that she could ever remember feeling.

"Do you, uh, want the bathroom first?" he asked.

"Sure," she whispered.

They were being so quiet, so cautious. He grabbed the clothes she'd worn the previous night and handed them to her. They smiled at each other until Kate closed the door to the bathroom.

She leaned against the door for a moment, the clothes held up to her chest while an enormous grin spread across her face. It remained while she brushed her teeth, used the bathroom and got dressed. She looked in the mirror at her beaming reflection, her mind reeling. There was no fear, or worry or regret waiting in the dark recesses of her mind. She was sure about this. She was sure about him.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed when she opened the door. He'd dimmed the lights, turned down the covers, and changed into a tee shirt and boxers. He stood and they passed each other, smiling almost goofily. As the door closed Kate found herself face down on the bed again, her cheeks flushed scarlet. It wouldn't do for her to end up a blushing mess every time they passed each other to use the bathroom.

She rolled over and looked out the window, staring at the blinking lights that filtered up the sides of the buildings. It was the same as last night had been, except wholly different. They'd crossed the line. It was gone. It was so far gone that she needed a map to find it. And once they'd taken this…thing…this relationship…all the way, well, a map probably couldn't even help her anymore.

She heard the bathroom door open and watched as Rick climbed into bed beside her, his body blocking her view out the window. She found that she didn't mind.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she whispered.

There was a small pause before they moved toward each other, drawn by the force of their own desire to feel. He wrapped his arms around her and she laid her head on his chest.

"I'm glad you decided to stay," he said after a few minutes.

Kate lifted her head and smiled as he leaned down and kissed her. "I'm glad I did too," she replied as they broke apart. "Your bed is so comfortable."

He laughed. "Oh, I see. You're using me for my bed."

"And your kid."

"Oh, right. I should probably be more bothered by that than I am," he mumbled as their lips met again.

"Nah, don't worry. I might like you, just a little," she told him a minute later.

"Just a little?" he pouted.

Kate smiled, the playfulness ebbing away. "I might like you a lot," she admitted.

"I might like you a lot too, Kate. I might like you more than a lot," he told her, a hand coming up to rub across her cheek. He liked to touch her. She liked to be touched.

"I might like you more than a lot too, Rick."


	11. Chapter 11

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: RATING CHANGE**_**. **_**Be warned. There's really no getting around it. Sorry. The next chapter will be Teen again, I think.**

**In that vein, please let me know what you think of this. It's much more drawn out than anything of this…nature, that I've ever written. So, I'm open to feedback. This was both fun and difficult to write, but I think it works, and that it makes sense for where they are. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 11:**

Kate stirred the next morning and opened her eyes. Rick was propped up on his elbow, looking down at her, a hand gently caressing her side.

"Hey," he said quietly while she blinked.

"You're watching me sleep," she stated.

"Creepy?"

"Not as creepy as paperwork. Maybe cute. Not sure. It's early," she mumbled, bringing a hand up to rub at her eyes. "How early?"

"Um, about 4:30am…" he said feebly.

"Why are you watching me sleep at four in the morning?"

"I woke up," he said, raising a shoulder in a half shrug. "You're cute when you sleep."

"As opposed to how hideous I normally am?" she asked, snuggling back down into the pillow and looking up at him.

He leaned down and kissed her gently, before peppering butterfly kisses all over her face. "I never thought I'd see the day: Katherine Beckett, fishing for compliments."

Kate glared at him. "Your staring woke me up at 4am. I'm not on my A-game right now."

"Oh, well, if that's the case, then you should know that you're gorgeous all the time, even rumpled and sleepy." Despite her better judgment, Kate felt herself blush. "You are. I like you like this, all snuggly and wrapped up in my bed."

"Do you have plans for me in this bed, or can I go back to sleep?" she asked.

They stared at each other. That had been more forward than she'd planned.

"Hypothetically, if I had plans, would there be restrictions on those plans?"

"Depends on the plans." This was their game, and she wouldn't lose.

"Shall I describe them to you? You know how I love to spin my 'crazy'

stories," he said, brushing a hand lightly down her side and coming to rest on her stomach.

Kate met his gaze steadily, ignoring the fluttering in her chest and the fact that her cheeks were heating up again.

"Well, first, I'd probably kiss you senseless."

"Sure you're up to that?" she asked, proud that her voice was still so steady.

"Oh, Miss Beckett, I am up for so much more than that. But that comes later. Should I continue?"

"I'm only hypothetically senseless, not incomprehensible, so I suppose you should," she baited.

His eyes darkened. "After that, I would find every single place on your body that made you shiver and blush and moan. And trust me, I can be very patient when I put my mind to it. Where would that leave us? You'd be mush, but not incomprehensible yet, am I right?"

Kate could only nod. The look he was giving her was a cross between predatory and adoring and she found that she couldn't quite catch her breath. Maybe she would be incomprehensible by now, if this 'hypothetical' plan were in effect.

"My third step would be to touch you, to find every place _in_ your body that made you scream and writhe. And believe me, you would. Not only am I patient, but my attention to details of a delicate nature is unparalleled."

"And…and then?" she asked, finding that she no longer cared how breathless her voice sounded, or how she was subconsciously arching into the hand he was running up and down her stomach.

"And then I'd let other parts of me make you writhe," he told her, his hand coming to brush over her breast and make its way up to her clavicle, where he began to trail his fingers over her skin. Heat rushed throughout her body. "But, of course, this is all hypothetical. You can go back to sleep if you want."

Kate realized that she was practically panting. Her skin tingled and his fingers were making her crazy. She met his gaze and found him grinning at her, half self-satisfied and half aroused.

"I'm almost tempted to go back to sleep, you look so proud of yourself," she managed.

He laughed. "Oh, but I want you to be satisfied too. I want you to be so satisfied that you can hardly move, which will give me all the more reason to keep you here all day."

What had begun as an innocent — well, not _innocent—_ comment had spiraled into something Kate was very sure they wouldn't be able to control. She brought a hand up and caressed his cheek, watching as his dark eyes lightened slightly, a look of contentment replacing the hunger and desire that had been pouring out of him.

"Or we can wait," he said, leaning down to kiss her lightly, merely brushing his lips over hers.

When he pulled back, Kate made a snap decision. She'd laid down her cards. She'd decided to dive into it with him. There were no 'get to know yous,' to work through, no unknowns to see.

"What's the matter, Rick? Afraid of a little action?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

The hunger reappeared with a vengeance and Kate found herself swept up in one of the most heated, passionate, toe-curling kisses she'd ever experienced. His hands roamed, caressing and kneading her flesh and hiking up the baggy shirt he'd given her the night before.

He was as talented at kissing as he was when speaking, and Kate felt like they'd simply shifted their relationship. They traded kisses like they batted words and offered theories. Each time one upped the ante, the other was there to raise it further.

Kate let her own hands explore, feeling the strong muscles that covered his back and the firm stomach he hid under his suit jackets. She pulled at the hem of his shirt and they disengaged for a second so that he could rip it off. Hers followed immediately, and Rick pulled back to look down at her.

"God, Kate. You're stunning," he murmured, leaning down to kiss and suck at her neck, finding the spot he'd run over with his fingers.

Kate gasped as one of his hands came up to caress her breast, his fingers running over her sensitive flesh with a skill she was unaware someone could have. While she was busy being driven mad by the hand on her chest, his other snaked south and ran along the hem of the boxers she wore. She felt a moan escape her lips and knew that she'd have to kill anyone who found out that Rick Castle had gotten her moaning before he'd even reached third base.

"Feeling senseless yet?" he asked against her ear, before taking her lobe into his mouth.

"Gettin' there," she replied as she ran her fingers through his hair and brought his mouth back to hers. "Is that all you've got?"

He growled against her lips and his hand sank beneath her boxers. She moaned as he stroked over her skin, teasing her without touching her when she desperately wanted him to. He found places on her thighs that made her squirm and she couldn't remember the last time anyone had tried so hard to make her come undone without really doing anything to her.

"You're teasing me," she told him as he pulled away.

"You love it," he replied, lowering his mouth to her breast while his hand finally gave in and touched her.

Kate bucked and bit her lip to keep herself from moaning loud enough for the whole house to hear. She could feel Rick smiling against her skin as his fingers danced across everywhere that was made to feel anything. And suddenly, his fingers entered her and she felt her eyes roll back. Her head jerked up and their eyes met a second later as he found the spot that made her want to scream. His thumb found its way to increase her pleasure and his mouth descended on hers to swallow the screams she didn't know she'd give him, and certainly not for this.

"Rick," she moaned as his other hand found her breast again. "Now, I…"

"Shh," he mumbled. "Give in, Kate."

"But…" Even as she tried to protest, she felt the force of it hit her with dizzying intensity. Her back arched and he swallowed her cries while his hand brought her to her peak and then helped her float back down. When she'd recovered her senses, she opened her eyes and found him watching her

He brought a hand up to stroke her cheek. "That was incredible."

Kate gave a breathy laugh. "I barely even touched you!"

He rolled his eyes. "Not me, you ridiculous woman. You. You were incredible."

She blushed. Guys had told her that she was sexy, and that she was 'good to watch,' in bed, but no one had ever been dumbstruck from _giving_ her an orgasm. "Thanks," she whispered.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. She turned to press her body to his and realized that she was no longer wearing anything. When had he removed her boxers?

"I like to have some freedom of movement," he told her. It didn't even bother her that he could practically read her mind, especially since he seemed to already know exactly how to drive her to the brink of incomprehensible.

"Seems like this is a little unfair," she offered, bringing one of her hands down to take a turn at driving him wild. "Me being so _bare_, and you still wearing so much."

"Well," he stuttered as she slipped her hand beneath the fabric and found him.

She smiled as his jaw dropped open while her fingers mapped out his flesh, taking time to find the places that made him jerk and gasp and moan. She ran her lips over his neck and cradled him to her with the hand that wasn't busy trying to turn him into a puddle of mush.

"Kate," he murmured against her ear.

"Hmmm?"

"Not that I'm not…ah…um…"

"Getting a little incomprehensible there, Rick?"

She felt his head droop and smiled as he groaned. "Yeah, I am. If you want to uh, see the rest of my plan…whoa…tonight, you're gonna need to stop."

Kate reluctantly removed her hand and then removed his boxers. He kicked them off and leaned down on top of her, placing kisses all over her face before pulling back to look at her.

"Do I need?"

Kate shook her head. "Clean and on the pill. You?"

"Clean."

With anyone else, there was no way that she would do anything without a thousand and ten percent security. But this was Richard Castle, and she trusted him with her life. And if, by some infinitesimal chance, this step they were taking resulted in another life, then they'd find a way to get through it.

"You're absolutely sure about this?" he asked as they shifted and Kate brought her legs up to cradle him above her.

"Always," she said seriously.

"Always," he repeated.

And then he was inside of her, his mouth covering hers to catch the moans they'd both let out. They moved together in harmony, giving and taking, goading and groaning. Kate had had some incredible sex in her life, but somehow, she'd never known it could be _this_ incredible. He hit everything inside of her that she had, and then some. And their kiss—it was almost more consuming than the act itself.

Within minutes, she found herself coiling, that delightful tension building in her belly and making her writhe beneath Rick, who was staring into her eyes.

"Come for me, Kate," he whispered, before he lowered his mouth to hers to muffle the screams that she couldn't control.

If the first orgasm had rendered her incomprehensible, Kate imagined that she was probably dead now. Rick tumbled over when she did, his own yell of pleasure mixed with hers. They rocked together and then lay still, him collapsed on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him and held him there as they fought to regain their composure, or what was left of it.

"No idea. I had no idea," he whispered against her ear before planting a kiss there.

"T…told you," she stammered, opening her eyes as he moved to hover over her, staring down at her face.

"Did you like my plan?" he asked, grinning.

"I'd say you were fairly successful," she replied.

"Only fairly?"

"If the amount of screaming I did is only fairly for _you_, then I don't know if I'll survive anything more," she admitted. "I had no idea either."

He kissed her as he slowly slid out of her and rolled them over so that they lay on their sides facing each other, their bodies still plastered together. They just looked at each other, their eyes locked. Kate felt as though he was saying a thousand things, though they lay in silence. His eyes shone and his hands ran over her body, trailing over her sensitive skin and making her smile.

"Do you have to be at the Precinct at 9?" he asked after a quarter of an hour, in which they lay there and stared at each other like lovesick teenagers.

"I have to go in if a body drops," Kate replied, "but I'm not obligated to be there otherwise."

"So there can be a repeat performance when we wake up later?" he asked, watching as she fought a yawn.

"I was thinking about taking a swim in your tub, actually," she replied, waiting.

His eyes popped and she felt him draw her closer. "That's not fair. In fact, that's downright cruel. You're a tease!"

"I would say that everything in the past hour negates that statement."

He laughed. "Well, yeah, but then you had to go and bring up images of you, hot, wet and deliciously naked."

"I'm naked right now," she offered.

"Kate," he groaned.

"Sleep, Rick. And if you're a lucky, maybe I'll let you join me in that tub."

"If not, I think I can persuade you," he murmured, nipping at her neck and licking that spot that he'd found. God, she liked his mouth.

"Don't think you have power…just…just because you know about that…and that," she stammered as his lips made their way up to her earlobe.

"Oh, I think we both know who has the power here," he mumbled, moving his hips against hers. "But if you try to exert it now, I might just die."

"Wouldn't want that."

"Too much paperwork," they said together.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: Okay, so it's not **_**quite**_** teen, but it's not smutty, so you're safe. I sat down to write it, and this is what came out. I think it's interesting. Let me know what you think.**

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 12:**

Kate opened her eyes to the bright light of the sun shining in through the windows and illuminating the bedroom. She blinked and felt the arm that pressed her back into a firm chest tighten.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked quietly, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"Not long," he whispered before he kissed her neck. "No call yet."

"What time is it?" she mumbled as he sucked on her pulse point.

"Close to 9am, I think."

Kate smiled. It had been a while since she'd gotten to sleep in when she was on call. "That's nice."

"Means our little adventure this morning," he nibbled on her ear and his hand began to make its way up from her stomach, "won't kill us later."

"Adventure, Rick, really? We didn't find Narnia."

"That is a shame," he admitted, slipping a leg between hers and pulling her even more tightly against him. "But you know, I think the portal is in my bathtub. We could look for it now, if you like."

Kate smiled. "Would be a shame to leave uncharted territory unexplored."

He kissed her forehead and then was gone. She rolled over and gazed up at him as he stood bare in front of her, holding out his hand. "I say we go looking now, how about you?" he asked.

Kate nodded and got up, taking his hand. They stood together on his side of the bed and just looked at each other in the light of day. Kate blushed as Rick's eyes swept over her body, even though he'd seen everything—and boy had he—last night…or this morning. It wasn't because he was lusting after her, though if the state of _him_ was any indication, he certainly was. Kate found herself overwhelmed by how much emotion he showed as his eyes raked over her figure.

He was certainly something to see as well, and Kate realized that her expression was probably just as besotted and awestruck as Rick's was. And, as she considered it, with the part of her brain that still controlled coherent thought, she realized that it didn't bother her one bit.

Their eyes finally met.

"Hi," he said, reaching over to pull her in by her waist.

"Hi," she replied, smiling as their lips met, morning breath and all.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked when they broke apart minutes later. Kate had to blink a few times to be able to put her thoughts back together.

"Yeah," she replied. "I slept wonderfully, except for that point when someone woke me up to have his wicked way with me."

"But it was oh-so-worth-it, right?" he asked, leaning in to kiss her nose.

She giggled and smiled up at him. "Enjoy this while you can, because you won't hear this much…"

"I'm listening."

"You're right; it was totally worth it."

He punched a fist into the air and then lifted her off of her feet to spin them around. Kate squeaked and clung to his neck.

"Rick!"

"You said I was right," he replied, setting her down and capturing her in a kiss. "I thought it was a celebratory moment."

She simply rolled her eyes and took his hands to lead him into the bathroom. She glanced over at the tub and watched as Rick left her side to start it filling while she grabbed her…the spare toothbrush.

"Thanks," he said as he returned to her side and grabbed his own brush.

"For what?" she mumbled, her mouth full of toothpaste.

"For taking care of your morning breath," he grinned.

She bumped him with her hip. "Shut up, Castle."

"Hey! I thought 'Castle' was reserved for irritating moments!"

She leaned over and spit before turning to him with her hands on her hips. "You just told me I have morning breath."

"I'm naked!" he defended, taking his turn to spit. "I didn't think you'd reprimand me when I was naked. Though, it is kind of hot," he winked.

"I reserve my right to call you out whenever I see fit," she asserted.

"You'd be more convincing if you didn't have toothpaste on your cheek," he grinned, leaning over to wipe it off with the pad of his thumb. He then leaned in and kissed her. "You taste like my toothpaste."

"You should be a Detective," she replied.

He beamed. "Is that an offer? That would be so cool!"

Kate rolled her eyes and tried to hide the smile she could feel. It was nice to know that they were still them. "Come on, Rick. It looks like your swimming pool is ready."

He laughed and they settled into the bath together, Kate pulled back against Rick's chest in between his legs. He grabbed a loofa—something Kate was not surprised to see in his bathroom—and ran it over her arms as he nuzzled his face into her cheek.

"You're so soft," he mumbled against her skin.

She dropped her head back to rest on his shoulder as his lips made their way back down her neck. She began to rub a hand up and down his calf and knee, smiling as he sighed into her neck.

"Have I mentioned how glad I am that you're here?" he asked as he dropped the loofa and wrapped his arms around her middle.

"You may have," Kate grinned, placing her hands on top of his. "I'm happy I'm here too."

They sat like that for a long moment, just breathing together in the warm, soapy water. "Rick?"

"Hmm?"

"Does Alexis expect you to be up and making breakfast?"

"Oh, I saw her off already," he replied.

"What? When?"

"I woke up at about seven and had breakfast with her, and then sent her off to school. You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you, so I just climbed back in and fell back to sleep once she was gone."

"Does she know I was here?" Kate asked timidly. She loved Alexis, but she didn't want to scar her forever.

"Well, your shoes are still here," Rick squeezed her gently as she tensed. "Don't worry. She might have been more excited than I am. And remember, Kate, she likes you. You've stayed over before."

"Yeah, but not for…not to…not because…"

"Kate, even I have limits about what I tell Alexis," he chuckled. "Your honor is safe, don't worry."

"Actually, I think you took my honor last night," she grinned.

"I hope you don't want it back…I'm rather fond of it," he replied immediately.

"I was under the impression that you hadn't gotten all of it, and may need a second shot, to be honest."

His hands began to roam and he kissed her ear. "Well, I wouldn't want to leave a job undone."

…

Kate's cell rang as she emerged from the bathroom. She grabbed it from the bedside table and answered while she walked through to the kitchen.

"Beckett."

"Hey girl," came Lanie's voice.

"Oh, Lanie. Hi," Kate smiled as Rick placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of her.

"Where are you?"

"I'm…well…I'm on call today." Rick raised an eyebrow and grinned as he sat down next to her.

"Oh. Tell Castle, 'hi,' for me. I'll wait." Kate could practically hear her smirking through the phone.

"Hi Lanie!" Rick called.

"He's sitting so close to you that he can hear me, isn't he?" she asked.

Kate laughed and nudged Rick so that he was sitting a bit farther from her ear. She hadn't even noticed he'd been close enough to overhear their conversation. He beamed and settled on toying with her hair from a safe distance.

"May have been. What's up?" Kate asked.

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to see if you wanted to grab coffee, since it's been so slow today. But, obviously, you're busy."

"Sorry Lanie," Kate smiled. "Rain check?"

"You better believe it. So tell me, before I let you go, were you there all night, Miss Beckett?"

Kate tried to hide her blush, but failed miserably. "I might have been."

"I better get details, girl."

"We'll see," Kate hedged, hoping that Rick couldn't hear what Lanie was saying. From the enormous grin he was wearing, he could.

"There is no 'see,' Kate. There are only details. And tell writer boy that he better stop listening to our calls if he knows what's good for him."

"Message received!" Rick called.

"Good luck, Kate."

"Thanks Lanie," Kate said. Then she hung up and turned to Rick. "Don't think that you have automatic eavesdropping privileges just because we're sleeping together now," she warned, pointing her fork at him.  
"Message received," he grinned. "I like that, though."

"What?"

"The 'sleeping together," part."

"Yeah, I gathered. You're pretty vocal."

He laughed. "No, no. Not that…well, _yes_ that, because, My God, Kate, I've never had anything _that_ amazing." Their eyes met and Kate felt her stomach jolt. She'd never had anything that amazing either. "But, what I meant was that I like the idea of us being together."

"I like it too," she smiled, pressing their legs together under the counter top.

"On that note," he shifted so that he could take her unoccupied hand. "Can I start an awkward conversation…or, a conversation that has the potential to be awkward, now, or do you want to finish eating?"

"I want to be your girlfriend, Rick," Kate replied, laughing as his eyes widened. "I don't see why that's awkward."

"It's not," he stuttered. "Okay, well, you just summed up an entire speech I had planned out."

"You didn't seriously think that I was going to sleep with you and then just pass it off as just sex, did you? If you did, I'm about to be very offended, Richard."

His eyes widened further at the use of his full name, and suddenly his lips were on hers and his hands were cradling her face. "Oh, Katherine, of course not," he whispered as they pulled apart.

"Then what did you?"

"I meant the ironing out of this relationship. That was the awkward part. Even when it's simple, it's awkward to get through the semantics and rules and such. I never doubted that you wanted the real thing. Should I be offended that you even wondered about that?"

"Oh, Richard, of course not," she replied, squeezing his hands. He smiled. "Nothing changes at the Precinct."

"Oh, well, duh."

"Very mature," she laughed.

"Silly statements deserve silly responses," he shrugged. "One clarification though?"

"Yes, my man child?"

He glared at her, but there was definite humor and affection in his eyes. "Can I break that rule if there's a very very good reason?"

"Define, 'very very good reason,' and we'll see."

"You almost get shot. You do get shot. I almost get shot. I do get shot. We get locked in another freezer— In any situation deemed life threatening, can I at least hug you?"

"If you ever get yourself shot, Richard Castle, so help me God," she started.

"Figure of speech," he replied quickly.

"The hell it is," Kate sighed. "But yes, Rick. If, and only if, one of us is wounded, you can hug me. I'd be insulted if you didn't, I think."

"Good to know," he beamed.

"Your mother and Alexis have to be completely okay with this," she continued after a pause.

"They already are, but you can ask them yourself tonight, or tomorrow," he nodded. "But, it's not even a question, you know."

"They still deserve to be consulted."

"And that's why I l…that's why you're amazing," he said, smiling wide, even though she could tell he was worried he'd just stepped in it.

"That's my last one," she said, pointing at him.

"What is?"

"We wait a month."

"We wait a month to?"

Kate smiled. "We wait a month before either of us says what you just had a panic attack about having almost said."

He just stared at her. "Before _either_ of us…"

"Ah, ah, ah. We're waiting."

"Oookay, but, I mean, I can ask why, right?" He looked torn between curiosity and the desire to jump up and down and yell in happiness.

She didn't blame him. Her stomach was turning complete butterflies, but she knew that she had to stick to this. "We wait a month so that we don't ruin it, Rick. Even if both of us think we're ready to say it, it could end it before it begins. We could peak too soon."

"We won't," he said with conviction.

"I know," she whispered, meeting his surprised eyes. "But I think we should honor the fact that it's been a night, Rick."

"That's fair," he nodded sagely. "Was a pretty incredible night though."

"Definitely one of the best I've ever had," she beamed. And waited.

"One of?" he exclaimed, looking affronted. "One of?" he stood and hauled her up so that they were standing chest to chest. Then he backed her against the counter. "Only one of? Katherine Beckett, if that wasn't the best night of your life, then we need to rectify that immediately."

"Oh?" she asked, suddenly much less blasé. His eyes—his eyes were dark with passion and hunger and just looking at them was making her weak in the knees.

"If that wasn't the best love-making you've ever experienced…"

Kate leaned up and kissed him for all he was worth. "It was pretty spectacular. Definitely in my top two," she told him when they broke apart five minutes later. He was no longer wearing a shirt and hers was scrunched up by her brassiere.

"Top two?" he growled. "Who the hell beats that, Kate?"

"I took this bath with a guy once and challenged him to fully take my honor. And boy, did he ever. He took me in the tub, and out of the tub, and on his bed afterward…and I may, or may not, have screamed his name so many times that I went hoarse," she shrugged, meeting his gaze.

His face, set in a scowl she knew was for show, cracked and he gave forth the largest, happiest grin she'd ever seen him wear. "You," he kissed her between each word. "Are. The. World's. Most. Cruel. Tease. And. Temptress."

"Huh. Sorry about that," she laughed as he began to pepper her face with kisses.

"Not complaining," he said against her lips when they found each other again. "I took a bath this morning with an amazing woman who let me have her in the tub and out of the tub and on my bed and she may have screamed my name so many times she went hoarse. She looks like you, you know."

"Funny, that," Kate smiled.

"Yeah. She's extraordinary."

"She thinks he's pretty great too."

They broke apart and looked at each other for a long moment, unsaid words hanging in the balance.

Rick sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. "A whole month?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: I know I should have a chapter of **_**Rock Foundation**_** out today, instead of this, but, well, inspiration strikes as it does. I'll have a chapter of **_**RF**_** out tomorrow. **

**I hope you like this. We'll be getting into a bit of case, though I don't plan for this story to be nearly as case heavy as **_**RF**_**. Fluff and fun to commence now: **

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 13:**

"Esposito, if you don't hang up right now, I swear to God I will tell Lanie all about the gated stakeout. That's what I thought. Yes! We'll be there. _Goodbye_, Esposito."

Kate hung up and tossed the phone down on the couch, running a hand through her hair. Those boys!

"I take it we have a case?" Rick asked.

Kate looked up at him. They were lying on his couch, Kate nestled between his legs with her back against his chest.

"You heard everything," she laughed. "But yeah. Residential alley near Central Park: We're expected there in about 45."

"Did he know you're here?" Rick asked, leaning down to press a kiss to her neck.

Kate smiled. "Yeah, he did. Probably heard you laughing in the background."

"It's not my fault that he called in the middle of your story," he grinned, pulling her closer. "Will I ever get to hear the end of it?"

"Maybe. But now," she sighed, "we have to go to my apartment so I can change."

"You should bring a bag tonight," he replied, refusing to let her go as she attempted to get up.

"What makes you think I'm sleeping here tonight?" She managed to twist away and stood up. She turned and looked down at him to find him pouting up at her.

"You're not sleeping here?" he asked.

She couldn't quite convince herself that he was kidding. "I don't know, Rick. I haven't slept at my place in three days."

"Right, yeah," he replied. "Wouldn't want anything to grow in your fridge; it might eat you the next time you try to make food."

Kate rolled her eyes and gathered up her things. "You need to go change, Mr."

He stopped and looked down at his sweats and tee shirt. "Not Precinct-worthy?"

She snorted. "No."

"Okay, gimme ten? You need to change too, not that I don't love seeing you in my clothes."

"Oh," Kate played with the hem of his big shirt. "I figured I'd just wear them back to my place." She could have put her clothes back on after their bath…but his were much more comfortable.

He smiled. "You can take them with you, if you want. But…"

"What's up, Rick?"

"Well," he looked hesitant. "If the paparazzi see you in my clothes, it won't be good."

Kate felt her eyes widen. "Right! Okay, changing it is."

He walked over and pulled her to his chest, planting a soft kiss on her lips. "But take them with you. I like that you want to wear my clothes."

She smiled and gave him another kiss before she pulled away and shooed him toward his bedroom. "We've got a crime scene to get to."

"Yes Ma'am!" he saluted. A moment later, the door opened and he handed her her clothes. "I'd say come change with me…"

"But we won't leave," she replied.

"See, the fact that you admit that just makes it two times harder," he groaned.

"Changing now, playtime later, Ricky," Kate purred, before she sauntered away toward the bathroom on the second floor.

"You'll pay for that!" he called after her.

Kate grinned. She was planning on it.

…

"What's that?" Kate asked as she came out of her bathroom and found Rick sitting on her bed with one of her suitcases.

"It's a suitcase," he replied innocently.

"Thank you, Dr. Obvious. Why are you packing it?"

He shrugged. "It's easier to get to a scene if we don't have to stop here." Kate considered him as she put her earrings in and did her makeup. "Unless you don't want to spend the night," he offered a few minutes later.

Kate walked over and stood between his legs, placing her hands on his shoulders while his found their way to her waist.

"If you think I don't _want_ to, Richard Castle, you're an idiot."

He grinned. "So you'll sleep over?"

Kate sighed. "Don't you think a little time apart would be good?"

"No," he shook his head, like a little boy whose favorite toy was being taken away. "I like having you in my bed." He pulled her close and rested his head on her stomach as she ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sure," she smiled.

"Not just for that…though, I wouldn't be adverse to a repeat performance," he mumbled, glancing up at her. "I just like having you there next to me, Kate."

She leaned down and brushed a kiss over his lips. "I like having you there with me too. But..." Her watch beeped, alerting her to the fact that they only had 15 minutes to get to the site. "We'll have to talk about this later."

He sighed and let her go. He glanced back at the suitcase as they left.

"Rick," she said as they reached the door and she slipped into her heels. "We can talk about it later. You can even have a second chance at convincing me."

His eyes lit up. "You're on."

Kate laughed as he grabbed her hand and tugged her into the hall. She had a sinking suspicion that she wouldn't be sleeping in her apartment tonight either.

…

"What have you got for me, Lanie?" Kate asked, stepping under the police tape with Rick trailing behind her.

"Single GSW to the chest, close range. He hit is head on the way down. No contusions."

"Looks like a pop and drop," Kate nodded, scanning the body of a man in his early thirties. His clothes were relatively unscathed, outside of the bloodstain that was seeping through his collared white shirt.

"Wallet or personals?" she asked as Ryan approached them.

"Nada. Robbery gone wrong, I'd bet."

"What's the time of death?" Rick asked, looking down at Lanie.

"I'd say a few hours ago, probably between five and seven."

"Commuting time," Ryan commented.

"Looks like our attacker yanked him into the alley," Kate added, pointing to the sleeve of the man's jacket, which was partially ripped. "But he didn't man-handle him."

"Maybe he heard someone coming and was worried he'd get caught?" Rick proposed.

"We've got a witness who heard a shot just as she was coming down the street," Esposito informed them.

"What kind of shoes was she wearing?" Rick asked.

Ryan and Esposito gave him odd looks while Kate smiled. "Heels?" Esposito replied.

"So he heard this woman coming, shot this poor guy, and ran through to the other end of the alley, scaled the fence and got away," Rick surmised.

"How do you know he left over the fence?" Ryan asked.

"Chain link's been warped," Kate supplied.

"You're one person," Esposito told them.

"Eh," Kate shrugged. "We'll meet you back at the station, Lanie?"

She nodded. "I'll see if I can get you some prints."

"Thanks. Come on, Castle. Let's go."

She and Rick began making their way out of the alley and were quickly flanked by Ryan and Esposito.

"So, Castle, how was your night?" Esposito asked.

"Good. How was yours, Espo?"

"It was nice. Lanie and I saw a movie. What did you do?"

"Watched some TV," Rick shrugged.

"Alone?"

Rick glanced at Kate, who turned to look at Esposito. "I was there, Esposito. We watched a movie, went to bed, and then woke up this morning. If you want anything more sordid, I'm going to insist on getting a cut of the pool. And I take 90% of any earnings. So I suggest you get your gossip somewhere else."

She sped ahead of them and reached her car. "Castle, you comin'?"

He grinned and left the boys gaping in the dust. He jumped into the passenger seat and they took off from the curb. "That was inspired," he laughed.

"I figured the straight approach would be hard for them to take."

"I'm a bit surprised that you're okay with telling them now," Rick admitted.

Kate glanced over at him. "Rick, it's not like they don't know."

"I know," he smiled, lacing their fingers together. "I'm just happy that you're fine with being open about us."

"I like us."

"I know. I just figured…you know what, doesn't matter," he shook his head and kissed the back of her palm.

"I still don't want the paparazzi hanging around."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll talk to Paula and figure out a way for this to go public, without actually going public. We'll probably be able to cut a deal, or play it off."

"Could we wait a little while?" she asked. "I'm okay with the boys and Lanie knowing—and lets' face it; they would have found out anyway—but I'd like to enjoy this a little before it becomes part of the public domain."

"Anything," he replied as they pulled into the station garage. They smiled at each other and then got out of the car. "You may as well head straight to the morgue."

"I need to set up the board," Kate replied.

"I'll do that. If you wait more than a minute to go tell Lanie, she'll kill you, since you just _know_ Esposito's going to want to get back to you."

"Crap. You're right," Kate sighed. "That board better be perfect when I get up there," she threatened as they parted ways in the lobby.

"Your lack of confidence wounds me, Detective!" Rick called after her as he got into the elevator and she took the flight of stairs to the basement.

"Hey Lanie," Kate greeted as she entered the morgue.

"Girl, I just got back. I don't have anything for you."

"I wanted to tell you something, actually," Kate said as she leaned against the counter and watched while Lanie prepped the body on her table.

"Do you now?" Lanie turned and took a good look at her. "You and Castle went at it, didn't you?"

Kate just shook her head and bit her lip. "How'd you know?"

"You did?" Suddenly she was being hugged. "I'm so happy for you! I can't believe you waited this long. God, Girl!"

"Lanie," Kate laughed. "Your gloves."

"Don't worry your skinny little ass," Lanie scoffed. "I'm all wrists here. Now," she stepped back. "Details."

"I don't know how I feel about discussing my sex life with a dead person in the room."

"BS," Lanie laughed. "Fine. Surface details? But know that I'll want _all_ the details later."

"The best," Kate said quietly.

"The best? As in, ever?"

"As in ever."

"Like…I mean, come on Kate. I heard some of what Josh was capable of."

Kate blushed. "Better than that, Lanie."

"How? How can it be better than _that?_"

"I honestly don't know, but it was. It is. It's, he's…got me sounding like I'm twelve."

Lanie grinned. "Then he's doing something right! I'm so happy for you, Sweetie."

"Thanks, Lanie."

"You look happy."

Kate smiled. "I am happy."

"You look _really_ happy," Lanie continued. "Like…like I haven't seen you look this happy in a long time."

"I guess I am."

"You're totally in love with him, aren't you?"

Kate held up a hand. "We're not talking about it for at least a month."

Lanie raised an eyebrow. "You and I aren't, or you and_ Rick_ aren't?"

"Both."

"Wow. Kate…"

"I know, Lanie," Kate beamed. "Believe me. I know."

They smiled at each other for a moment until something crossed Lanie's mind. "You know, not that I'm not grateful, but why the visit when I'm with body? This would totally be more fun over drinks."

Kate laughed. "Your boyfriend may have figured out that I was at Rick's this morning."

"Were you now?" Lanie laughed.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Yes. Anyway, I let it slip as we were coming back, and I wanted to be the one to tell you before Esposito gets the chance."

"Well, I appreciate it," Lanie grinned. "Now, get outta here so I can get your fingerprints and evidence."

"Thanks, Lanie."

"Don't think you're off the hook though. I expect a full run down sometimes soon!" she heard Lanie calling after her as she left the morgue.

She blushed. God, he had her blushing with just the thought of what they'd done. She got in the elevator and schooled her features on the long ride up to the bullpen. When she stepped out, Ryan and Esposito scurried away from her desk, leaving a rather flustered looking Richard Castle in their wake.

Kate swept past him and looked over the murder board, nodding approvingly. "Well done, Castle."

"Thanks," he mumbled.

She turned back around and took him in. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he said quickly.

Kate sat down and rolled her chair close to his. "What did they do to you?"

He glanced behind him and found that the other two Detectives were suspiciously absent. "They may have, uh, threatened me within and inch of my life."

"Oh, that," Kate laughed. "I'd listen to them were I you. This one guy broke my heart once, and, well…all they found of him was his pinky."

Rick gaped at her. "You just…I can't believe…Katherine Beckett, a Harry Potter reference?"

Kate smirked. "Thought the nerd factor would pack a punch."

"I don't know whether to be horrified by the fact that you support them, or too turned on to care."

She simply winked at him and turned to her computer to sort through the files they'd collected so far. "Close your mouth, Castle, or you're going to catch flies."


	14. Chapter 14

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: Now, as much as I LOVED **_**To Love and Die in LA**_** last night, and all of the amazingly important revelations that it included, I felt that it was a bit low on fluffy moments, so I have written this to compensate. This is, well, read it. I have a feeling that you'll smile.**

**Comments and reviews are always appreciated and received with happy dances of Joy.**

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 14:**

"I've never been here for a dull case before," Rick said as they watched the uniforms haul a tall teenager out of the interrogation room in handcuffs.

"Pop and drops aren't always cover ups for gruesome plots," Kate shrugged.

"Yeah…but for us they usually are. This is so," he paused dramatically, "_normal_."

Kate laughed. "Cheer up, Castle. This means we can get out of here early."

"Wanna come over for dinner again? Alexis mentioned that she'd love to actually spend some time with you, since it's Friday and she won't have homework."

"That sounds nice, Castle," Kate smiled. She filed away the last of her paperwork and stood, glancing over at Ryan and Esposito, who were watching them with rapt attention. "You can head home, guys."

"Oh, yeah, thanks, Beckett," Ryan replied. Esposito just watched them walk to the elevator.

"And I thought my mother was meddlesome," Rick muttered as the doors closed on their curious faces.

"If it wasn't so annoying, I'd probably find it kind of cute," she shrugged. "As it is, I say we just let them be; they'll grow out of it. Men always do." She cast a sidelong glance at Rick and wasn't disappointed.

He had one hand over his heart and was scowling at her. "I'm wounded."

"I wouldn't worry. I'm sure you'll grow out of that too," she winked as the doors opened and she strode out into the lobby. He caught up with her a second later and they walked to the garage together, Rick muttering under his breath.

They got into her car and Kate pulled out of the garage and onto the crowded avenue. The downside to finishing her paperwork at a reasonable hour was the traffic.

"You could always use the gumball," Rick suggested.

Kate looked over at him as they sat at a red light. "You want me to put on my siren so that we can get to your house for dinner?"

"It's not that bad a breech of protocol, is it?" he asked innocently.

"Oh, Mr. Castle, when I breach protocol, you'll know," she drawled.

He just gaped at her. "That's…that's really hot. It shouldn't be, what with the voice and the eye roll and everything, but wow. That's _hot_."

Kate just smirked and passed through the crowded intersection. His hand found hers and he began to trail his fingers up and down her arm. She felt the smirk melt into a smile as he brought her hand to his mouth to press a kiss to the center of her palm. A minute later, he began to pay homage to her pulse point and Kate felt the smile give way to a blush. He continued his assault her hand, kissing, licking, and nipping at her skin in a way that had her toes twisting in her stilettos.

"Rick," she said as they came to another stop in the hell of Friday rush hour. She was surprised by just how breathless she sounded.

"Hmmm?" he mumbled against her hand.

"Uh…" she didn't actually have anything to say.

"Kate, are you feeling alright?" he asked, glancing over at her. "You're awfully red and out of breath."

She caught the glint in his eye and took the opportunity to lightly slap his face with the hand he was holding captive. "I'm just fine, Ricky."

"Hey!" he exclaimed, catching her hand before she could pull it away. "It's not my fault if I can't be as hot as you are without even trying. So I have to resort to showing you just how _hot_ I can be," he leered.

A compliment, a come on and a jibe all at once—she was tempted to smack him again. "Message received, Rick."

"Oh, you haven't received anything yet," he challenged. There was a pause. "Wow, that was far dirtier than I intended."

"Yeah," she laughed. "And cheesy."

"Melted or cold?"

"Seriously?"

He nodded. "Of course. There are different levels of cheesiness."

"Let me guess; you're good at all of them?"

"Alexis thinks I'm best at the melted kind, actually," he shrugged.

"Oh, so this is her analogy?"

"Yes."

Kate shook her head. "I don't know whether to find you two cute or repulsive."

"It has to be cute. Alexis is incapable of being repulsive."

Kate laughed. "Well, then I guess it's cute, but only because you have Alexis."

"So now I'm childish, repulsive and immature? Wow, you must really like me to put up with me," he grinned.

"Only you would take those things and make them positive."

"Well, I have to, or I'd start thinking you didn't really like me that much," he shrugged, looking completely unfazed.

They finally made it to his building and Kate looked over at Rick. He still had her hand in his and his thumb was drawing patterns on her skin as he watched her.

"Rick, you know I think the world of you, right?" she asked quietly.

He looked over, surprised. "I do, yeah," he said. "I know you do."

"I mean, I tease you, you tease me—it's our thing. But you do know that I don't dislike the fact that you've got a child-like innocence and that you're capable of finding something to laugh about at every one of my murder scenes, right?"

He nodded, giving her a soft smile. "I know."

"And you're not repulsive," she continued, bringing his hand up to her lips to press a kiss to the back of his palm.

He used his other hand to unbuckle his seat belt and scooted over to her to press a gentle kiss to her lips. "I know," he said as they pulled apart. "You give as good as you get. I tease you just as much. And unless you're screaming at me, I'm never going to believe that you hate me or want me to leave. Even then, I won't believe you."

She smiled and leaned back in, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Just wanted to make sure," she whispered when they broke apart a few minutes later.

"Message received," he replied.

"Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!"

"You still haven't changed your ring tone?" she laughed as he fumbled around in his pocket for his phone.

"That's the house phone," he replied. "She's got a different ring tone now. Hey, Pumpkin," he said into the phone. "Yeah, we're outside. Yes. Uh-huh. Alexis! Yes, we're on our way now. Gah! No, stop. I'm not listening. Hanging up on you now," he said as he hit the end button.

"What did she say?" she asked as they got out.

"Something about playing kissy-face and leaving her to starve," he replied, coming around the car to wrap his arm around her shoulders. They walked into the building. "You don't think she could see out the window, do you?"

Kate laughed and leaned into him as they got into the elevator. "I don't think so, but she's not dumb."

"No, she's far too smart for her own good."

"Wonder if she gets it from Meredith," Kate mused.

Rick nudged her with his hip. "You obviously haven't spent enough time with her."

"Oh, I think the brief meeting a few years ago was enough," Kate laughed.

"Lets hope we can keep it that way for a while."

"Is she thinking of visiting?" Kate asked as the doors opened and they got out on his floor.

"Lord, I hope not," Rick shuddered.

He opened the door and ushered her inside.

"Hi Kate!" Alexis greeted them.

Kate gave her jacket to Rick and walked over to the kitchen where Alexis was happily putting dinner together.

"Hey, Alexis. You didn't need to cook," she said as she watched the girl grate cheese with a practiced flair.

"Oh, I know. But I was hungry, and since you two were, hum, indisposed, I thought I'd get a head start."

Kate blushed and Rick darted into his office with a quick, "be right back!"

"You two are easy," Alexis grinned. "How was work?"

Kate just shook her head. "It was fine. Very easy case today. No twists, no turns—just a simple robbery gone wrong."

"Ooh, I bet Dad was disappointed."

Kate nodded. "He was. Can I give you a hand?" she asked as she watched Alexis try to juggle stirring some pasta and flipping chicken in a pan.

"That would be great, thanks," she smiled.

Kate came around the island and they spent a few minutes cooking side by side. "How was school?" she asked.

Alexis shrugged. "It was fine. It wasn't…well, honestly? It's not that much fun right now."

"Finals and AP exams coming up?"

Alexis nodded. "Yeah. And everyone stressed all the time. And my friend Lauren has been really mean lately."

"What's she doing?"

"She's just been really snarky and sarcastic. Every time I make a joke or just a statement, even, she finds a way to twist it around. And if Ashley's there, she just completely ignores me."

Kate sighed. "Sounds like she's jealous."

Alexis nodded sadly. "I think so too. But I don't know what to do about it. I'm not going to dump Ashley for her."

"Of course," Kate replied. They were quiet for another minute. "Do you think maybe she's not jealous of you, but jealous of Ashley?"

"Ashley? Why?"

"Well, you spend a lot of time with him, right?" Kate asked.

"Yeah…"

"Are you spending less time with Lauren?"

Alexis nodded slowly. "You think she's mad and thinks I'm choosing Ashley over her?"

Kate shrugged. "It's possible. This happened to a bunch of my friends when I was your age. And Lanie and I go through it every once and a while."

"Really?"

Kate laughed. "Of course. We work so much that sometimes we barely see each other to begin with, and then throw in a new man, and poof; girl time is gone."

"How do you fix it?"

"We set aside a night to go out or stay in and watch movies, no boys allowed. It just takes some planning."

Alexis smiled. "That sounds like a good idea."

"I think it could help," Kate assured her.

"Thank you," Alexis said quietly.

"Anytime," Kate smiled. "Now, do you want to go grab your Dad while I plate this stuff? He's been hiding from you for a while."

Alexis grinned. "It's amazing how embarrassed he is by being caught. You're doing remarkably well," she added.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Your Dad's a drama queen, and I'm…just better at hiding it."

Alexis laughed. "Don't be embarrassed. I'm through the roof about this."

"Really?" Kate asked before she could stop herself.

The teen nodded emphatically. "Of course! I've been waiting for the two of you to get your act together for _forever_. I'm excited."

Kate swallowed and blinked for a second before she found her voice again. "Thank you, Alexis."

Then she was being hugged. "I'm glad it's you, Kate," Alexis mumbled into her shoulder.

Kate ran a hand over the girl's head. "Me too, Lex. Now, go get your Dad so we can eat."

Alexis stepped back and nodded, a slight blush on her cheeks, as if she were embarrassed by her own boldness. Then she scampered from the room.

Kate turned back to the chicken and smiled. She had Alexis' blessing. And she knew that she had Martha's. Somehow, both seemed a bit more important than they should; like she had just asked whether or not she could marry Rick, rather than date him. Marry him? They weren't even going to talk about _it_ for a month.

She needed that night with Lanie STAT.

"Smells amazing in here," Rick said as he and Alexis emerged from the office, the teen trailing behind her father as he dragged her along by her arm, her socks skidding across the floor. "I didn't mean to invite you over to cook," he added as Kate passed him a plate.

"I like cooking, Rick, even if I don't demonstrate it often."

He held up his hands as they joined him at the table. "That wasn't a diss to your cooking; I was just trying to be a good host."

"Kate offered to help, Dad," Alexis said as she sat down across from Kate.

"Ganging up on me is so unfair," he told them. "How was school today?"

"Good segue," Kate said, patting him on the arm as he glared at her.

"It was fine," Alexis replied.

"Is everyone still stressing out?"

She nodded. "Yeah, but I think things will get better," she said, glancing at Kate, who smiled back.

Rick looked confused but chose not to comment, and they spent an enjoyable meal talking about movies they were interested in seeing and the current state of politics. After dinner, Rick decided to do the dishes and ushered them into the living room to pick a movie.

"Are you staying over?" Alexis asked as she gestured for Kate to sit and began rifling through the DVD collection.

"I…I don't know, actually," Kate replied uncomfortably. "Why?"

"Oh, movie length," Alexis replied, as if that was the obvious answer. "You can you know," she added, looking over at Kate. "I certainly don't mind."

"Oh, good," said Kate. What did you say to that?

"You're just as bad as Dad," Alexis said, shaking her head.

"Excuse me?"

"The, 'oh, I'm so cool; you can't flap me, teenage daughter,' act? Yeah, you're failing," she laughed.

"Alexis Castle!" Kate squeaked.

"What? You're in a relationship. A pretty serious relationship, if I'm not mistaken. You sleep here. It's cool. I get it."

"Please stop talking," Kate mumbled into the pillow she'd hidden her face in.

"No judgment," the teen added.

Kate chucked the pillow at her.

"Why are you throwing projectiles at my sweet daughter?" Rick asked as he arrived with three bowls of ice cream.

"I insulted Gene Simmons," Alexis replied.

"Gene Simmons, really?" Rick asked, glancing over at Kate as he sat down on the couch and passed out the bowls.

Kate glared at Alexis.

"Oh, was that a secret?" she asked as she put the movie in. "I don't remember you telling me _not_ to tell Dad at that dinner."

"You'll pay for that one," Kate announced.

"You don't scare me," Alexis replied easily as she flopped down on Kate's other side.

"No?"

"Nope," the teen replied, her toes coming to press under Kate's thigh as she reclined against the arm of the couch.

"We'll see about that. What movie are we watching?"

"When Harry Met Sally," Alexis replied with a smile.

Kate squinted at her. "I'm on to you, Missy."

"Onto what? I have no idea what you're talking about."

The credits started and Kate broke first. She smiled and patted Alexis' knee before turning to watch as Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan went on a car trip. Ten minutes later she realized that Rick was most assuredly not watching the movie. Instead, he was staring at her while his fingers trailed patterns on her arm where his hand rested on her shoulder.

"What?" she whispered, turning to meet his gaze.

"Nothing," he smiled. She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not allowed to talk about it." Her brow furrowed. "I'm supposed to wait 27 more days."

Kate felt her eyes grow wide and then her face lit into a smile that she simply couldn't control. He was counting the days. Alexis' toes twitched under her leg and Rick leaned in a pressed a kiss to her forehead.

27 days wasn't that far away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: To my chagrin, I do not now, nor will I ever, own the Castle cast, characters, or anything related to the show. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: Um…yeah. So this chapter is…this chapter is fluffy, and it's…oh, just read it. I can't explain it, but I think you'll understand. **

**Lemme know what you think. I really had fun writing this one.**

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 15:**

"Yes, yes, my boyfriend is funny, I agree," Lanie laughed. "But, I'm more interested in hearing about yours."

Kate considered her best friend over her margarita. It was Thursday of the following week and they'd finally found the girl time she'd told Alexis about at dinner Friday night.

"You saw Castle about two hours ago," Kate replied, smirking as Lanie rolled her eyes.

"Kate Beckett, don't play this game with me. I'm asking about _Rick_, not Castle, the annoying tag-along-semi-partner who likes to touch my medical supplies."

"Oh, well, you hadn't clarified."

"Kate," Lanie glared at her.

"You're easy tonight," Kate laughed. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything!"

Kate smiled. "Everything's great, Lanie."

"So you're still in the honey-moon period, so to speak?"

Kate shrugged. "Well, I mean, I twisted his ear today after he decided to call me Becky-Becks for an hour of our car trip out to White Plains, so I don't know if honey-moon is really the right descriptor…"

"Becky-Becks?"

"I think you underestimate just how annoying Castle can be on a car trip if you don't get him snacks first."

Lanie laughed. "You know, you don't sound that annoyed by it."

Kate evaded Lanie's eyes. "He's still annoying."

"But you almost think it's cute now, don't you?" Lanie observed.

"No."

"Liar."

"Do you want more dish, or should I stop there?" Kate asked.

"The teasing has left the building," Lanie replied, holding up both hands. "Dish, please."

"Anything specific?"

"Jury's still out on whether or not I want the dirty details; I'm not sure if I'd be able to meet his eyes again."

Kate's mind unwittingly began to supply pictures of the previous night and she felt her cheeks growing hot as thoughts of exactly what he'd done with his mouth came to the surface.

"And, judging by that look," Lanie's voice broke through the haze of _very_ dirty memories, "I think I don't want to know."

Kate giggled. "Uh," she cleared her throat. "Yeah, probably not."

"Still as good as the first time?"

Kate nodded. "Might be better every time, actually."

"_Seriously_?"

"If you don't want details, I won't elaborate, but GOD, Lanie. Yes. Better _every_ time."

Lanie whistled. "Good for you, girl." Kate blushed. "So, since I'm not getting the dirty deets, tell me about the other stuff."

"Like?"

"Like whatever's put a spring in your step since the weekend. You've been practically prancing around the station."

"I have not!" Kate defended.

"Calm yourself," Lanie laughed. "You're not _that_ bad, but I know you, Kate. You don't act like this unless you're honest-to-God happy."

"Well, maybe I am," Kate shrugged.

"Oh, I have no doubts. Now, tell me, what, exactly, did Writer Boy do to make you so very, very happy?"

Kate took a deep breath and felt that smile she hadn't been able to control _all_ week creep onto her face. "He may be, uh, counting down the days."

"Until?"

"Until we can talk about the thing that we said we weren't going to talk about."

"Ooh, that _thing_. Remind me again why you 'can't talk about it?' Because you two obviously feel it."

"I just…we're moving really fast, Lanie. I haven't…" she paused.

"You haven't?"

"I haven't slept in my own bed in nearly a week."

Lanie's eyes grew very large. "Seriously?"

"I just…I keep going over there for dinner, or we go out, or we meet up with Alexis, or there's a movie…and every time he asks me to come up, or to come over, or to stay and watch _another _movie, and I end up staying the night."

"Does he hold you hostage?"

"What?"

"You make it seem like you're not choosing to stay."

"Oh," Kate frowned. "No, no, I mean, I don't _not_ want to stay, or come up, or come over…"

"So you're worried because you've basically been in bed with Castle every night since you officially got together? Am I right?"

"I'm not worried…" Kate mused.

"But you don't want to say _it_ until you feel like you've got some control over yourselves?"

Kate nodded. Lanie had a knack for finding ways to say what Kate couldn't quite wrap her head around. "Yeah…I just…Lanie, I can't seem to make myself leave once I'm there."

"So what do you do? Do you hightail it over to your place if you get a call? We've had a few early mornings this week."

Kate blushed. "Uh, I have a suitcase at the loft."

Lanie grinned. "When did you pack that?"

"Rick tried to get me to pack it on Friday morning, but I didn't end up back home that day, so I packed it Saturday afternoon and threw it in the car."

"Just in case?"

"Right," Kate nodded. "And, you know, I figured I wouldn't want to pack it every day, right? So I put a lot of clothes in there…"

"You basically brought enough for the week, you mean," Lanie supplied.

Kate nodded. "I used my last outfit today."

"So what's the game plan, then? Are you re-packing and heading over there tonight?"

Kate shook her head dejectedly. Dejectedly? Oh, she had it bad. "No, Rick had a dinner with his publisher tonight, and he's not sure how late he'll be back, so we thought that it would be best for me to stay at my place so I actually get some sleep."

"Did he want you to stay at the loft anyway, and you said no because you're trying to get distance out of some need to find a semblance of normalcy?"

"Lanie, I swear, if you keep doing that, I'm going to find that FBI agent from the explosive decompression case and sic him on you."

Lanie grinned. "Ha! Knew it."

"Yeah, yeah," Kate waved her off as she took a big sip of her margarita. "Alexis is out and Martha's…uh, 'on the prowl,' again, so I would have been there alone…and it just…I didn't…I wanted to say yes."

"Why didn't you?"

"Isn't it too fast? Shouldn't I want some distance? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want real _distance_, just, you know, a few blocks away for a night. We've spent every night together for a week!"

"Are you feeling smothered?"

"No,"

"Controlled."

"No, of course not."

"Like he's holding too tight or expecting too much?"

"No, no, he's been great. He gives me the option of leaving…well, I mean, he pouts through the suggestion, but he still makes it every night," Kate replied.

"Does it feel too fast?"

Kate sighed. No. It didn't feel too fast. It felt so normal that it almost felt slow. "No, it doesn't."

"Then what's the problem?" Lanie asked.

"I…I've never felt like this, Lanie. We spend all of every day together, and then I just don't want to leave. I don't want to be away from him. I just…I want to go to sleep with him and wake up with him and go to scenes with him and build theory with him and have dinner with his daughter and talk to his mom and then fall asleep on the couch together and wake up and take a bath and then go to bed and then…everything. All the time. And I don't understand it."

"You're in love," Lanie told her quietly.

Kate nodded. "I know, but I've been in love before. It wasn't…like this. And what changed? We saw each other every day long before we decided to give 'us' a shot. And hell, Lanie, it's been a week! I know there were unresolved feelings flying around for a while…"

"So you _did_ know!" Lanie exclaimed triumphantly.

"I'm stubborn, not stupid, Lanie," Kate rolled her eyes. "So, yeah, I knew we had…I had feelings for him, but what the hell? When did I get this bad? When did we get this bad? It's like we're magnets or something."

"Sometimes it's like that," Lanie shrugged.

"I just don't know what to do," Kate told her. "I don't want to fight it, but it honestly scares the crap out of me."

"You're not thinking of…"

"No," Kate replied quickly, emphatically. "No, I'm in. I'm in this for the long haul."

"Then what's the problem exactly?"

Kate put her head in her hands. "I don't know!"

Lanie laughed and Kate picked her head up to glare at her. "What? Kate, do you hear yourself? You've found _the one_, and you're complaining because it's too good!"

"I just didn't expect to fall so fast, Lanie," Kate said quietly. "And I don't want to climb out, but I just…what if this is the bang and then we fizzle out?"

"You won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because we're having this conversation. Kate," she took her hand. "You have never, ever, let yourself fall all the way. I watched you with Will and Josh and Tom, and you tried, I know you did, but you didn't let them in. Rick's been 'in' since your first year together, and now you've opened the door for the whole shebang. I'm not surprised that it's almost too much to handle; the two of you have been building up to this for three years. I don't think you'll fizzle out. You might be able to be apart after a while, but you won't lose the crazy-in-love thing you've got going on. That's forever."

"I know," Kate whispered. "I know it is."

"So just hang in there, and for God's sake, girl, enjoy it! Stop analyzing it. It's not a case to solve." Kate laughed and gave Lanie a smile. "And promise me something?"

"What?"

"Promise me that I get to come wedding dress shopping with you on Castle's dime."

Kate blanched. "Lanie!"

"Oh, get over it," Lanie rolled her eyes. "If you're not engaged by the end of the year, I'll eat my hat and make Esposito wear a dress."

…

Kate rolled over. She couldn't get comfortable. Her bed, with its pretty lilac sheets and sky blue throw, was cold. She sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

Pathetic. She was pathetic. She couldn't even sleep without him now. She turned over and eyed her cell phone. It was only midnight. They'd had an early case, so she'd tried to get in bed early once she'd gotten back from drinks with Lanie. But it seemed like it was pointless; she wasn't going to sleep.

She pursed her lips and weighed her options. She could stay in her bed and suffer through a restless night, or she could swallow the shred of pride she still had left and go back to Casa Castle with a new suitcase.

Rick could come to her place, a part of her brain argued. She shook her head. Alexis lived with Rick, and it wouldn't be fair for her to take her Dad away in the night. And, if she was honest with herself, Rick's bed was better than hers, his breakfasts were better and his house was more…fun. She loved her new apartment, but it still didn't feel like _home_, even after living there for nearly a year.

She groaned. She didn't want to stay here. She missed him, which was ridiculous, because they'd spent the entire day, from 5am to 6pm, together. She was an adult. She should be able to sleep without him next to her. She staunchly spent another five futile minutes tossing grumpily before she sighed and reached for her phone, just as the little light began to blink, telling her that she had a message.

_I can't sleep. Bed's cold without you. I'll make you waffles_.

She smiled. He was just as miserable as she was. She got up and threw a few work outfits, a pair of pajamas, a pair of not-so-Alexis-suitable pajamas, and her toiletries into her suitcase and then grabbed her coat. She went down to the garage and got into her car and drove over to his place, deciding to just ignore the part of her that was annoyed by this. If she couldn't sleep without him, she couldn't. No matter how much she tried to justify staying in that apartment, she wouldn't sleep, and she knew it.

She made her way up to the loft, smiling guiltily at the night watchman as he smirked at her slipper-clad feet and the sweats sticking out from beneath her jacket. She knocked quietly once she arrived and waited in the hall, listening to the shuffle of feet on the other side of the door.

It swung open and she and Rick just looked at each other for a moment before he took her hand and pulled her into the foyer, kicking the door shut behind them as he spun her into a kiss. After a few minutes, in which they'd simply stood necking in his front hall, he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

"We're ridiculous," he murmured.

"Crazy," she nodded.

"Absolutely pathetic."

"I can't find a single comfortable place in my own bed," she mumbled. "Nowhere. And I blame you."

"Me?" he asked, pulling away so that they were holding hands, looking at each other. "What about you? I can't fall asleep in _my_ bed, and we both know how comfortable it is."

"My apartment is quiet," she returned. "And it's too still in my room, without the hum of computers or TVs or people playing laser tag."

"Yeah, well, my tub's too big for just one person."

"My bathroom only has a shower," she countered.

"That's a shame," he broke first. "Would you like a bath? That big bathtub has been so sad without you, since I refuse to use it alone."

"I don't get it," Kate replied.

"This?"

"Yeah! We were together _all_ day."

"I know," he sighed, pulling her to him and resting his head against her cheek. "But I tried to go to sleep without you, and I honestly couldn't."

"Me too," she admitted.

He pulled back. "So, it's settled then? We don't sleep alone."

Kate laughed. "Isn't it pretty fast to decide to move in together?"

Rick's eyes widened. "I wasn't, ah, actually suggesting that, just yet."

"Oh."

They stared at each other. "I mean…if you…if you want to…but, I was, heh, I had a plan all…for later," he said quickly. "For later, I mean, maybe even a month after 21 days from now, or something…"

Kate felt herself smile. "Okay, well, uh, forget I mentioned it then."

Rick nodded slowly and they just stood there, looking at each other. "Do I have to?"

"Huh?"

"Do I have to forget about it?"

"Rick, it's been a week. Honestly, a _week_. We can't…it's not…we can't do that yet."

"Right, right." He was quiet for a second. "Why?"

Kate blew out a breath. "I don't know! I don't know why we can't. I don't know why we need to wait 21 days! I don't know why I can't sleep without you next to me! I just…I don't get it at all. You've wormed your way into everything, Rick Castle, and now you're there and you won't get out, and I don't want you to, and I just…"

He cut her off as he yanked her back into his chest, his mouth crashing down on hers. Hands roamed and jackets and shirts fell away as he guided them through the hall and into his bedroom, where they collapsed on the bed together. They broke apart a few minutes later, chests heaving.

"I don't know why either," he said quietly. "But I do know that I never want you to leave."

"Your apartment?"

"My apartment, my heart, my life, my bed," he said as he placed kisses all over her face. "No leaving."

"I…" she giggled as he kissed her eyelids.

"Just say you'll stay forever," he mumbled against her skin.

"I'll…I…"

"Or, wait, no. Just let me kiss you. I can wait a month and 21 days for you to stay forever, as long as you're here now," he interjected before she'd found the words to form the sentence doing.

"O…okay," she breathed as his mouth descended again. Okay? This was much better than okay. This was…this was…

"Extraordinary," he whispered as their lips met.


	16. Chapter 16

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: I don't work for Castle, or have anything to do with the production of the show. HOWEVER, you are more than welcome to change that!**

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: I've written some very angsty stuff this week. Then there was Knockout (and I've got to say, I'm **_**still**_** recovering). So, my friends, I admit it: This chapter is fluff, coated in fluff, with a side of sweet, a dash of tender and a heaping scoop of more FLUFF. I figure we could all use it.**

**For anyone feeling the loss of Castle for the season, feel free to check out my new story, **_**Stand With Me**_**, which is a Knockout continuation. **

**And don't worry. September 19****th**** isn't **_**too**_** far. **

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 16:**

"Castle."

"Hmm?"

"Could you explain something to me?"

He looked up from his phone and met her gaze. "What's up, Detective?"

Kate held up her key ring. She'd gone to the bathroom, come back, and went looking in her purse for her phone. Then she'd found it. There was a very shiny, _very_ new key on her ring, that definitely hadn't been there that morning.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Oh, that?" he grinned. "That's a key to the loft."

"And it's on my key ring because?"

"Well, I have that Parents dinner at Alexis' school tonight, and I know you're going to be running files and financials until the wee-hours, so I figured that it would be easier if you could just let yourself in."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Why didn't you give this to me at the loft?"

He shrugged. "I like to keep you on your toes."

She rolled her eyes and turned back to her computer, but slipped the keys into her purse. It had been a little over a week since that night, and they hadn't yet slept apart. He'd come over to her place a few times, but mostly, they slept at the loft. They ate at the loft. They _everythinged_ at the loft. Kate was starting to forget what her apartment looked like, and the strangest part was that it didn't bother her at all.

She'd expected to have to transition—to acclimate to being so wholly attached to another person. She'd never been this way before. She always maintained distance in her relationships, even with the few men that she'd been truly serious about. She hadn't lived with someone before. She had never willingly spent night after night with a man, forgoing her peace and quiet and solitude. But, Rick…Rick encouraged her to take baths and left her to choose from anything in his expansive library whenever she pleased. He wrote in the evenings, so there had been a few nights when she'd just gotten in bed with a book and had that _solitude_ anyway.

"You still there, Detective?"

Kate looked up and realized that she'd gotten nowhere on the files that she was supposed to be combing through. "Stop distracting me, Castle," she grumbled.

"What did you do, Castle?" Esposito asked as he passed by. "Stop distracting Beckett."

"Yeah, Castle," Ryan added.

Rick turned to her. "That was uncalled for."

"Surprise me in the Precinct again, and that will be tame," she replied with a smile.

"Well excuse me for trying to make the day a little brighter…" he mumbled as she handed him a file.

"Make yourself useful, Castle, since you're cutting out on us later."

…

Kate smiled as she packed up her things for the night. Rick would be so disappointed that he'd missed out on this close. The wife, the mistress, the male lover—all of them had ended up getting caught trying to destroy the last evidence of the unfortunate Mr. Ramsey's estate. Kate didn't often enjoy arresting people, but the spectacle of all three of them yelling and screaming at each other for ruining their respective relationship was highly entertaining. And, that wasn't even the best part. Rick would be most devastated to have missed the Butler running in and confessing, just to end the madness.

It had been like walking into the middle of one of his books.

She got into the elevator and took out her keys as she rode down to the garage. The added weight of the new loft key made her smile. Rick wouldn't be back from the parent dinner yet—they'd closed the case remarkably early in the evening—and she had been coveting the whirlpool in his bathroom for a few days.

She got in her car and set off for the loft, ignoring the fact that it was by far early enough to warrant going back to her apartment. But there was nothing to eat there, and she and Rick had gone grocery shopping the previous night, so the loft was fully stocked. She'd even badgered him into letting her pay for half of the food, a victory that she probably shouldn't be quite so proud of.

It wasn't that he didn't want to let her pay, but, well…he didn't want to let her pay. He was rich. He was _loaded_. And she got a Cop's salary. She paid for things, but she knew that if he was there, she didn't need to. It wasn't him trying to usurp her control, or lord his money over her; he legitimately wanted to pay for things because he thought she could spend her money on other things—clothes, shoes, books, girl amenities.

She was standing in front of his door before she ever noticed herself getting there. With a warm feeling settling in her stomach, she inserted the shiny, new key into the lock and turned, hearing the satisfying click of the lock as she did. She swung the door open and walked inside, only to be confronted with the sight of Alexis on the couch with Ashley, involved in some very serious necking.

What did you do when you walked in on your boyfriend's daughter getting frisky on the couch with _her_ boyfriend?

"Kate!" Alexis spotted her and shoved Ashley off of couch. He looked over sheepishly, with a hint of something more fearful in his eyes.

"Hi, Alexis, Ashley," Kate finally managed. She slipped out of her coat and put down her purse, shutting the door behind her. Get mad? Ignore it? Act cool? Option three sounded like the best. "You guys having a good evening?"

They blushed and Alexis turned away to fix her blouse. "We, uh," Ashley coughed. "We are."

"That's good," Kate replied, walking over to rummage in the fridge. "You guys want dinner?"

"Ashley was actually…"

"I'm leaving," he said quickly. "Thanks though, Ms. Beckett. I mean, Detective. I…uh, see you tomorrow, Lex?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

He all but flew out the door.

Alexis met Kate's eyes, her cheeks completely scarlet. "I…sorry," she mumbled. Kate took a breath. What was the protocol here? "I didn't know you'd be home so early."

"I wasn't planning to be," Kate replied. "It was a simple close, and I probably should have just gone back to my place. I mean, your Dad isn't here, so I don't really have a reaso…"

Alexis was shaking her head. "We like having you here, Kate."

Kate smiled. "I know, Lex."

"And you should be welcome here any time. That's why we made the key."

"I should have knocked."

"You have a key."

"Still," Kate replied. "I had no idea you were home."

Alexis' blush deepened. "It's my fault. We shouldn't have been on the couch."

"Better the couch than your bedroom," Kate said instantly, her eyes widening as the thought slipped out without warning.

Alexis gave an embarrassed giggle. "Right, yeah." There was a pause. "Do you want help with dinner?"

"Help would be great," Kate smiled, glad that the awkwardness seemed to have evaporated.

They worked silently for a while, cutting up vegetables and preparing chicken to sauté. Kate caught Alexis glancing over at her every so often, and after the fifth time, she took pity on her.

"Something on your mind?"

"No, I mean…I like Ashley." Kate internally winced. She wasn't ready to have a womanly talk with Alexis. "And, I…the couch…it's not _bad_."

Kate laughed. "I'm sure it's not."

"And I just, I don't want you to think that that's all we do, you know?"

Kate let out a breath of relief. "I know, Alexis."

"I just, I don't want you to think that any time we're alone, we're, um…"

"Getting it on on the furniture?"

Alexis coughed. "Yeah."

"Alexis, you're 17. I remember being 17. I get it. And I know that you're about much more than boys and…couch activities."

"Thanks."

They worked quietly for another few minutes.

"Maybe we should have a signal, or something," Kate suggested.

"A signal?"

"Maybe I can text you if I'm going to be over here without your Dad, or even with your Dad, so you know when we're coming by?"

"Seriously?"

"I may be able to deal with the sight of you on the couch with your boyfriend, but I'm sure your Dad isn't. I know he walked in on you guys once, but I doubt it was quite the same show then."

"Heh, yeah…that would be great, Kate. Thank you."

"It's no problem, just…" Was she really about to initiate this conversation? Was it her place? She looked at the girl beside her—the young woman—and wondered if she really needed yet another female influence.

"We're careful, and I'm so not ready for that yet," Alexis told her.

"Oh, okay, good. If you ever…if you ever need to talk…"

"Thanks, Kate," Alexis smiled. "Now, let's talk about something else. This is awkward enough."

Kate laughed and they went about finishing dinner and gossiping about the Precinct and Alexis' school. After dinner, they sat down together and watched a few episodes of _Friends_, laughing and commenting on everything they could think of. It was a completely new way to wind down after a long day. Spending time with Alexis with Rick was different; when it was just the two of them, the girl was girlier, and Kate found the kind of youthful innocence infectious.

When Rick did finally return home, the two had watched three hours of television and split a large sundae. The door opened in the middle of a very entertaining tale of Rick falling down the stairs while trying to skate around the second floor in socks. Kate was nearly falling off the couch and Alexis was grinning.

"Now this, a man could get used to," he smiled, closing the door and putting his keys down before sauntering over to kiss Alexis' head. Then he leaned over and tried to kiss Kate, but the sight of him was too much and she broke into another fit of laughter. Rick turned to Alexis. "What did you tell her?"

Alexis shrugged and hopped off the couch. "I may have mentioned something about a skating incident."

"You didn't."

"Oh, but I did."

Kate laughed harder as they had a staring match, that Alexis inevitably won when Rick got distracted by his girlfriend's laughter.

"How was the dinner?" Alexis asked.

He frowned. "All of your teachers said that they were worried about you. Apparently, you've been skipping classes and getting caught toking up in the bathrooms."

Alexis bit her lip. "Gee, I was hoping you wouldn't find out."

"To bed with you," he laughed.

Alexis giggled. "Night Dad. Night Kate. Thanks for hanging out with me," she said as she leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"No problem, Alexis. I had fun."

"See you in the morning?"

"Assuming there isn't another case, you definitely will," Kate smiled.

Alexis grinned and then headed upstairs. Rick came around the couch and plopped down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his chest.

"You're home early," he said by way of greeting as he leaned in and captured her in a kiss. When had they decided that 'home' was the loft?

She smiled as they broke apart. "You'll be so sad that you missed this one."

"Oh no. What happened?" he asked, the whine already present.

"Well, on top of the mistress and the wife…"

"Gay lover?"

"Yep."

"Oh, man!" he moaned, letting his head fall back against the couch.

"Not the best part," she enticed.

"Seriously?" He opened and eye to look at her.

"The Butler."

"No."

"Yes."

He just gaped. "And I _missed_ it?"

"Sorry," she laughed as he beat his head against the back of the couch. "It was pretty good."

"I'm sure."

"But, you had somewhere to be," she continued, placing a hand on his knee. "How was the dinner, really?"

He pouted at her for a moment before a smile broke through. "Great, as always. They love her over there."

"I can't really imagine anyone not loving your daughter."

He smiled and brought his lips back to hers. "So glad you're here," he mumbled against her lips as he guided her back so that he was lying on top of her. "So good to come home to this."

She smiled and then sighed as his hands began to roam over her body, trailing fingers across her stomach and down her sides. Soon her shirt was bunched and his unbuttoned and they were quickly losing control.

"Hey guys I…oh."

Rick toppled off the couch and Kate pushed her shirt down, sitting up and meeting Alexis' eyes. There was a moment of silence before both of them began to laugh. Rick looked between the two women, confusion all over his face and his hair sticking up at every angle.

"Wh…what's so funny?"

"Nothing," Kate managed, reaching over to smooth down his hair. He looked guiltily over at Alexis, who was using the counter to hold herself up.

"I'm gonna grab and apple and head back upstairs," Alexis said once she'd regained the ability to talk. "And, uh, you know…you have an office, Dad."

She ran to the fridge, took out and apple and scampered back up the stairs before Rick could come up with a coherent response. Kate was just laughing. Yes, it was embarrassing, but, well, now they were even.

"Did I miss something?" he asked, looking up at her from the floor.

Kate just smiled. "Don't worry about it. It's a girl thing."

He gave her a very warm look. "I'm glad she has you to have girl 'things' with."

"She has other women in her life," Kate shrugged.

"Yeah," he replied, standing and pulling her up to meet his chest. "But you're the only woman in my life, and I like that the two most important ones like each other."

Her heart fluttered. Damn him and his way with words. "Your mother would be insulted."

"Don't talk about my mother when I'm about to kiss you," he murmured as he brought his head back down to hers.

"Rick…Alexis," she breathed when they broke apart some minutes later.

"Or Alexis," he grumbled as he took her hands and walked backward, guiding them toward the bedroom. "No talking about the family when we're doing this."

She laughed. "Then don't get me to do it where your family can walk in on us."

"Get you to?" he scoffed as she kicked the door closed and they stumbled to the bed, hands roaming over chests and necks. "You made me!"

"Made you? I seem to remember you being on top, Rick," she grinned as she let her hand trail lower while their legs met the side of the bed.

"Oh, I think we both know that you could pin me in a minute," he replied huskily, his head dipping so he could nip at her neck.

"Hmmm," she replied as she guided him to sit on the bed and came to stand between his legs. "Would you like me to pin you now, Mr. Castle?"

He looked up and her and then drew her close to press a kiss to her stomach. She smiled and hugged him to her. She loved it when Rick was playful, but it was always something else when he was decidedly tender. She hadn't ever been with a man who worshiped her body the way Rick did, but there were nights when he just held her close and she couldn't find a way to distinguish what was hers and what was his, and it made her feel so very cherished.

"Rick?"

He simply lay back and pulled her down on top of him, peppering her face with kisses. "I'm happy to be home," he said by way of explanation.

Home. There it was again. Was this home, lying in bed with him and whispering even though no one could hear them? He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth and then rolled them over so that he rested on top of her, his weight pressing down on her, capturing her, holding her to him. As she stared into his eyes, she found that she was happy to be captured, held, kept, kissed.

"Me too, Rick."


	17. Chapter 17

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: I don't work for Castle, or have anything to do with the production of the show. HOWEVER, you are more than welcome to change that!**

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: Is anyone keeping track? I know our favorite duo is. It's coming, my friends. **

**This is fluff, with a side of plot and a bit of character…so, really, it's a chapter. Funny, that.**

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 17:**

"What are you doing?"

"What?"

"Castle, you're up to something."

"That stings, Detective."

"Cry me a river."

"I could, you know. Your lack of faith in my ability to sit quietly and unobtrusively is positively hurtful."

"That's because you're not capable of such sitting."

"I've been sitting here all afternoon, being quiet and watching you do paperwork."

"And you've been glued to your phone like it was surgically attached to you. Your eyes are all shifty. You're plotting something, and the boys are in on it."

"What makes you say that?"

Kate looked across the bullpen just in time to catch Esposito and Ryan ducking back into their work, 'we're not up to anything' looks adorning their faces. "Those boys are about as good at hiding things as you are, Castle," she replied.

"I think you've become paranoid."

"And I think you're hiding something."

He shrugged and turned back to his phone. "Well, suite yourself. I'll be here, patiently waiting for you to be done so we can go home."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "What makes you think I'm going home with you?"

He looked up and met her eyes. "Are you not?"

His face completely lost the glint he'd had all day and he looked almost sad, as if her suggestion would utterly ruin his day. Like she even could go home—nearly all of her usable outfits had somehow migrated to Rick's closet, and she was fairly sure that everything in her house was either stale or moldy. Her new key to the loft was better worn in a short week than the one to her current apartment had been after months. She gave him a small smile. "I could be persuaded."

The glint returned and he grinned. "Alright, well, finish up and I'll convince you." He raised his eyebrows a few times and she rolled her eyes and turned back to her work.

Twenty minutes later, she was finished and she turned to find him watching her. "How long have you been staring at me."

"Not long enough for you to notice," he replied, standing and opening her jacket for her. "Ready to go?"

"I actually need to go see Montgomery. He told me not to leave without speaking with him. Gimme five?"

He gave a dramatic sigh and plopped back down in his chair. "I'll survive."

"Pity," she laughed and then strode away, hearing him scoff behind her. She glanced over at the boys and they met her eyes with suspicious smiles. What the hell were they up to, and why hadn't she been paying more attention?

She knocked on the door and Montgomery looked up, grinning. "Beckett, good to see you."

Kate returned his smile. "Likewise, Sir. You said you needed to talk to me?"

"Yes."

"Okay?"

"Have a seat, Beckett."

She did as instructed, her guard up. Why did he look so happy? They hadn't had a body today, which was nice, as they'd had two in the last week. But still, neither had been particularly harrowing cases. What had him in such a good mood?

"You know, you have a lot of vacation days wracked up," he said offhandedly, shuffling through papers on his desk.

"I do," Kate said warily.

"I think you should use them."

"Sir?"

"Tomorrow."

Kate's eyes widened. "All of them?"

He laughed and met her gaze. "Of course not _all_ of them. You'd be gone for a few months if that were the case."

"Oh, well…"

"I was thinking a week, maybe?"

Kate didn't know what to say. A vacation sounded…well, she couldn't lie; it sounded great. A whole week of nothing would be heavenly. But why now? She didn't need it now, really.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I…well, Sir, that sounds great…"

"Perfect. Alright then, I'll see you in a week."

Kate just stared at him. "Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Not that I'm not grateful for the time, but why now?"

"Oh, well, I suppose it's not really my place to say," he shrugged.

Kate was confused. "But…but you're telling me to take time off."

"Yes."

"So?"

"Why don't you just let your Partner explain everything, and we'll see you in a week, including the weekend."

Kate narrowed her yes. "So that's what he's been up to."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Now get out of here, Beckett. I'll see you in a week."

Kate knew a dismissal when she heard one and she gave Montgomery a nod and then left the office. Rick was waiting by her desk, all of her things packed up. The boys were nowhere in sight.

"So, what did Montgomery have to say?" he asked innocently, holding her jacket out to her.

"I'm on vacation for a week," she replied.

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Yep," she replied, striding toward the elevator.

"Hey, wait up!" he said hurriedly, jogging to join her as the doors opened. "Where's the fire?"

"I was told to 'get out and not come back until Monday,' so I'm leaving."

"Where do you want to go?" he asked, eyes alight.

"Why do you assume we're going anywhere together?" she asked, not looking at him. "I'm on vacation. Maybe I have places to go on my own."

"Oh, well, right. I suppose," he said after a moment.

She could be mad at him. He'd gone behind her back, talked to her boss, gotten the boys in on it. He'd completely made a decision for her without even asking if she was comfortable taking an unscheduled week of break. What if she'd been saving up for something?

She glanced over at him and found him leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets and an unsure expression on his face. She was sure that he'd just wanted to do something nice for her. Chances were, he'd already made travel plans. Alexis was on Spring break starting tomorrow, so he may have even roped her into the festivities, whatever they would be.

She should, knowing her past, be mad at him. She _hated_ not being in control. She hated being left out of the loop. She hated having her right to make decisions taken from her. But, she looked at Rick and he looked so dejected, and worried, and then it hit her. Thursday was day one.

The doors to the elevator opened and Kate strode out, waiting to hear Rick behind her. She walked toward her car, listening for his footsteps, and stopped when his did. She turned around and found him looking at her, a few feet of distance between them.

"So, uh, are you coming to the loft?"

If she wasn't so touched that he'd planned to take her somewhere because that 'month' they'd both been secretly counting through was almost up, she'd take the opportunity to make him squirm. But, as her heart was currently in her chest and very satisfied butterflies were dancing in her stomach, she couldn't find the energy to be mean.

She could, however, find the energy to be a tease. "I thought you were going to convince me."

His eyes widened and a smile crept back onto his face as he came over to stand in front of her at the back of the cruiser. "And what should I do to convince you?"

"I thought you were the writer. Shouldn't you be spinning a story for me?"

His smile grew into a full-blown grin and he backed her up against the car. "Alright, Detective. I'll take that challenge. Imagine, if you will, waking up to the smell of the sea and the sound of sea birds cawing in the distances. The sun hits your face and you scrunch up your nose in that cute way you do whenever you're awake but trying to get back to sleep. You roll over and come face to face with your ruggedly handsome bed partner."

"Oh, am I meeting a ruggedly handsome man on this journey?" Kate asked, smiling as he frowned.

"I'm going to let that slide, because I know you're just trying to get to me. Should I continue?"

"I guess. I'm not sure I'm convinced, especially since you're supposed to be trying to get me to come back to the loft, not to whatever seaside location you're painting."

"I would hope that the promise of a seaside bungalow would entice you to let me take you home to my humble apartment, so that we can pack and leave for said bungalow tomorrow."

Kate considered his offer, making a show of still being unconvinced, despite the fact that he'd already convinced her. What did it say about her that it had taken that little to get her to cave?

"I might need more convincing. What else is there to do at this bungalow, other than look at my hunky bed partner? What's his name, by the way? Because I've always been partial to hunky athletes."

"Meat heads? Now I'm insulted."

"Who says they're meat heads?"

"I don't know that I want to continue anymore," he pouted.

"Afraid you'll fail at winning me over?"

He glared at her. "So, after the sun has hit your gorgeous face, and you've rolled over to see _me_, your hunky boyfriend…"

"Is that what you are?"

"Seriously? Do you want me to convince you or not?"

"Yes, sorry, please, continue," she smiled, leaning back against the car. "Sweep me off my feet."

His eyes darkened. "Oh, you'll be so swept away by this week that you won't ever want to come back."

"Will I now?"

"You will. I'll make this the most amazing week of your life, bar none."

"That's a pretty steep wager you're making, Mr. Castle. And you still haven't even convinced me to go home with you tonight."

He growled and pulled her to him, crashing his lips down upon hers and winding his arms around her slim waist. She wrapped hers around his neck and then squeaked as he lifted her off her feet and held her up, his mouth devouring hers. Her head spun and she held him tightly, smiling as he eventually set her down and they broke apart, their foreheads pressed together.

"Convincing enough, Detective?"

She gave a breathy chuckle. "I think I'll go home with you, Mr. Castle, but you may have to work a bit more to get me to spend the week with you."

He groaned and pressed his mouth to hers again for a moment before pulling back to look at her. "That, my dear, is a challenge I heartily accept. Are there conditions?"

Kate felt her stomach rumble. "Yeah. Feed me."

He laughed. "You got it. Now, drive me home and I'll call Alexis."

…

They snuck glances at each other all through dinner. He found reasons to brush his hand over her hand, or her arm, or her leg, or her face as often as he could. She teased him with her toes, rubbing over his feet and calves so much that he finally couldn't take it anymore and trapped her roaming foot between his and glared at her.

"Hey, uh, guys?" Alexis interrupted, watching as they had an intense staring match. "Whatever you're doing, I get it…but really, wait until I'm gone, okay? Please?"

Kate was able to pull away first and met the young girl's eyes. "Sorry Lex."

"Yes, sorry Pumpkin," Rick added, his hand making its way to Kate's knee under the table and giving it a gentle squeeze while she pulled her foot back.

Alexis grinned. "No worries."

"So, Alexis, what are you doing for Spring Break?" Kate asked, sneaking a glance at Rick, who was shooting a look at Alexis that clearly read 'DON'T TELL HER.'

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about that," Alexis said, rolling her eyes at her father.

"What's up?" Rick asked suspiciously.

"Mom's invited me out to California for the week."

"Oh."

Kate glanced over at Rick and found him looking both disappointed and excited for his daughter. "That sounds like fun, Alexis," Kate replied.

"Yeah," the girl shrugged. "It should be. But I wanted to run it by you."

"If you want to go Sweetie, you should," Rick said after a breath. "You haven't seen your Mom in a while."

"Right," Alexis said hesitantly. "But I know that…uh, you had some plans, Dad."

"Plans can be remade, Alexis," he smiled. "And next time we'll do something even cooler. Summer's coming, after all."

"Yeah," she smiled. "I'm sorry, Kate."

Kate gave her a smile. "While it would have been great to see you every night for a week, I totally get it, Alexis."

Alexis looked over at her Dad. "Ah...right! Because I wouldn't have had school functions." He nodded and Kate laughed.

"Alexis, I know your Dad is trying to take me somewhere for the week of vacation he obviously told you about before he told me." Alexis blushed. "I don't know where he's planning on sweeping me to, but I appreciate that you wanted to come too. I would have enjoyed that. But your Dad's right; we have all summer."

Alexis grinned. "Great. We'll have to do something really amazing then."

"Definitely," Rick added. "When are you leaving?"

Alexis looked down. "Tomorrow morning."

"Hey, you know it's okay for you to go, right?" he asked quietly, glancing over at Kate. "I, we want you to spend time with your Mom."

"I know," she replied. "I just…I'd rather be here."

"You don't have to go."

She looked between them. "Like you said, I haven't seen her in a while, and I should, right? I should go see my Mom."

Kate gave her a smile. "I'm sure, once you're there, you'll enjoy it. And when you come back, I'm pretty positive that we can make up for the time lost."

"Okay. Well, I should go pack," Alexis said with a small smile. She stood and came over to kiss both of them on the cheek. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"Definitely. I'm off all week, apparently," Kate replied, stealing a glance at Rick, who was looking off at the door.

"Right," Alexis laughed. "Have a good night you guys."

They watched her climb the stairs. Kate turned to Rick. "She's a good kid."

"I want to kill Meredith sometimes," he replied. "She shouldn't not want to visit her Mom."

"I'm sure she doesn't…"

"No, I mean, Meredith should be someone she wants to see. She should be a good mother so that Alexis _wants_ to spend time with her."

"Maybe she'll grow," Kate offered, laying a hand over the one Rick had on her knee.

"Maybe," he replied. He met her eyes and then smiled. "But, she's got you."

Kate felt her stomach flip. That was a loaded statement. Yes, she loved Alexis, and loved being in her life. And yes, even if she and Rick didn't work out, she would stay friends with the girl. But 'having her' in place of Meredith? That was…that was big. That was really big.

"Hey, don't make more out of that than it needs," he said quietly. "I'm just glad that she has you as a friend. I'm not buying you a 'world's greatest mom' tee shirt yet."

She gave a laugh. "You read me well." Wait. Yet?

"I've had practice," he shrugged, standing and collecting the dishes. She watched him for a moment, trying to wrap her head around that one little word, before she gave herself a shake. No use dwelling on it now. It was probably just as offhanded as it sounded.

She joined him and they did the dishes together, working in a contented silence. When they were done, he took her hand and guided her into his office, shutting the door behind them.

"Now, as I understand it, I have some convincing to do," he said as he put his hands on her waist.

She smiled. "You do, but you know, I might like to know what I'm being convinced into."

"Well, the bungalow, you remember the bungalow?"

"Vaguely."

He glared. "Uh-huh. Well, it includes the seaside bungalow, my company, a peaceful, relaxing week and as much of anything else as you want."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"So, if I wanted to do nothing but read all week, I could have that?"

He smiled. "There's a pretty big library at the bungalow."

"And if I just wanted to sit in a hot tub until I was so wrinkled that I might not ever be able to go out in public?"

He grinned. "Will you be naked?"

"I thought this was my wish-list."

"No reason why the two can't coincide," he leered and she laughed.

"I might be naked, yes."

"Then yes, the bungalow can do hot tubbing."

"And if I wanted to stay in New York and go back to work?"

He frowned. "I'm not going to _force_ you to come with me, but I am hoping that you'll at least take off of work. You could use the break, Kate."

She smiled and gave him a chaste kiss. "Just testing you, Rick. I think a week at a seaside bungalow sounds pretty nice."

He pouted. "I didn't even get around to convincing you. Where's the fun in that?"

"Just be glad that I'm not spitting mad at you for going behind my back to arrange all of this," she laughed.

He sobered. "I don't want you to think that I would ever try to discredit you or take away your…"

She put a finger over his lips. "Rick, I get it."

"Really?" he said around her finger.

She nodded. "I have a calendar too, you know."

He grinned and pulled her into a hug, laying his cheek against her hair. "So you'll come?"

"I will," she smiled into his shoulder. "Though, I wouldn't be adverse to being convinced again. You could get me to let you take me shopping for bathing suites, since I can't even remember the last time I wore one."

He pulled away and gave her a huge grin. "Oh, I think I'll definitely have to convince you then."

"Just as a side note," she began and his lips descended to her pulse point and she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep her knees from buckling. "Where is this seaside bungalow? Because, I'm…hmm…I'm not really feeling a trip over seas."

"Oh, it's just a drive away," he said against her skin, making her shiver. "I think we have some unfinished business there. Maybe we can even look at the stars."

"Yeah," she smiled, running a hand through his hair. "We should definitely look at the stars."

* * *

**Author's Note II: Thank you guys for being so amazingly supportive and excited about the last chapter. I'm glad it gave everyone the fluff-fix we needed after the Finale. And thank you for sticking with this story. It's pretty long now, and you're all still reviewing and reading and alerting, and it's just amazing. So, thank you. I really love you guys. You're the best. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: I don't work for Castle, or have anything to do with the production of the show. HOWEVER, you are more than welcome to change that!**

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: So, we're headed for the Hamptons. This isn't my longest chapter, but it's fun, and I'm breaking it up because I have big plans for the next chapter, and want that to stand on its own. **

**I hope you enjoy this. Let me know what you think. **

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 18:  
**

"You're sure you have everything you need?"

"Yes, Dad," Alexis said, giving a teenaged sigh even while she placated her father. "I double checked. And anything I've forgotten can be easily purchased."

"That's my girl," he grinned. "You'll call when you touch down?"

"Yes, Dad," Alexis replied, looking over at Kate for help. "The car service is almost here."

"I don't know why you wouldn't let us come see you off," he pouted, pulling her into a hug.

"Because then you'd be doing this oh-so-not-embarrassing routine in public," Kate supplied, coming over to give the girl a quick squeeze before ushering her toward the door. "Have an amazing time, Alexis."

"Thanks, Kate," she said as she opened the door. "You too."

Kate smiled. "We will."

"See you in a week?"

"You will."

Alexis smiled and then took a deep breath and took off for the elevator, her neatly packed, single suitcase rolling behind her. Rick joined her at the door and they watched as Alexis got in the elevator, shaking her head at them while the doors closed.

"My kid is so old that she won't let me take her to the airport anymore," Rick sighed after a minute.

Kate gave him a smile and guided him back into the apartment, closing the door behind her. "She's still your little girl."

"No, she's _old_ now," he said dramatically, flopping down on the couch. Kate stifled a laugh and followed him, sitting down on the coffee table.

"She's not _old_, Rick. You're old."

He glared at her. "Thanks. That really makes me feel better."

Kate grinned. "Thought it might. Now, you said something last night about whisking me away right after Alexis left. Is that still possible, or do I need to let you rest after your walk from the door to the couch?"

"Old. Old? I'll show you old," he exclaimed, lunging for her and sending them sprawling to the floor, the coffee table skidding away in their wake.

"Rick!" Kate protested as she tumbled off the table and landed on the floor, his big body on top of hers.

"Old? If I'm old, what does that make you?"

"A gold-digger," she replied, shifting so that he was settled on top of her, instead of flattening her. "I'm only after you for your money, and your grown up daughter."

"I should be insulted."

"You should."

"It's positively shallow of you."

"If it were shallow, I'd have mentioned your body," she smirked.

"Do you have something against my body?" he challenged.

"Well, we were just speaking of your age. And maybe parts of you ar..."

He leaned down and kissed her then, his lips moving over hers while his hands twined through her fingers and stretched her arms back over her head. After a minute, he moved away from her lips and began to lavish her throat with kisses, trailing hot, open-mouthed breaths up and down her pulse, up to her ear, over and under her jaw. Effectively, he had her toes curling, breath panting, eyes darkening, voice moaning—he'd rendered her incomprehensible in a mere moment.

"Still, _old_, am I?" he whispered against her ear, before he took the lobe into his mouth and gently bit down.

"N…no. Young," she panted, squeezing the hands he still had trapped above her head. "Virile." He sucked on the place where her jaw met her neck and her eyes widened and then fell shut. "Hot."

He hummed in appreciation and slowly removed his hands from hers to bring them down and slip one into her hair while the other trailed up and down her side. She brought her hands to his head and ran them through his hair.

"Ri…Rick," she panted. "Hey…I…the trip to the…" If anyone ever knew that he was capable of making her slur her words and form the most misconstrued sentences, she'd have to kill him. Now though, she wasn't so concerned with what she was saying.

"What's that?" he asked, a grin tinting his voice. "You sure you want to go to the beach with me, your old, rickety boyfriend?"

"Shut up," she growled, yanking his head back so she could meet his twinkling eyes. "Are you whisking me away, or are we going to neck like teenagers on your floor for the next week?"

"While I am a fan of option two, I suppose we should head out," he conceded, dipping his head back to place one last chaste kiss against her lips before he clambered off of her and stood, extending a hand down to help her up. "Do you need time to pack?"

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, I know you were in the middle of packing last night when…"

"So you think that, just because you got so distracted by 'convincing me' that you didn't pack, means I did too?"

"When would you have packed?" he asked, looking quite proud of himself. "I kept you occupied late into the night, if I'm not mistaken, and you got up with me this morning too."

"Actually, I think just you 'got up' this morning, Ricky. Remember, I said we didn't have time, since I'm the responsible one, and your daughter was already out here making breakfast?"

He narrowed his eyes. "It's not nice of you to remind me."

Kate laughed. "Are you sure you can handle a week of me, Rick? I'm bound to be 'not nice' sometimes."

He leered and reached for her, frowning as she scampered out of his way. "I would love it if you were 'not nice' right now," he growled, following her as she backed her way toward the bedroom.

"Rick," she protested as he sped up and grabbed her around the waist just as she made it into the room, where their neatly packed suitcases, which she'd taken an extra five minutes to prepare after her shower, were waiting on the bed. "If we ever want to leave, you're going to have to get yourself in check."

He turned her in his arms so that they were face to face and leaned in to press a kiss to the tip of her nose. "I'm never in check when it comes to you."

She gave a put-upon sigh. "And don't I know it. But," she placed a hand on his chest and pushed back. "Try today, at least for the drive. Then you can have your wicked way with me at the bungalow."

"I'll hold you to that," he murmured as he gave her a squeeze and then released her. "Seriously, when did you pack?"

"Rick," Kate said as she hefted her bag off of the bed. "It took me five minutes after my shower while you were with Alexis. Seriously, does it take you hours?"

He shrugged and grabbed his own bag. "I'm not really used to women who can pack efficiently."

She raised an eyebrow. "I would imagine that both of your ex-wives would be master packers."

"They were, but it took forever. They brought a lot more than you."

Kate shrugged. "What's there to bring? You're taking me to the beach. A dress or two, some sweats, a few sweaters…"

"And the swimsuit we're getting you on the way?"

Kate blushed. She'd almost forgotten about that. Did she really want to take him shopping with her? He'd want to come into the dressing room with her and have her try things on for him like some model. And she hadn't done that since…she'd never done that. She'd never had a guy she was comfortable enough with to bring him into a changing room with her and watch her strip down in the harsh lights.

"I'll be your best fashion consult," he added as he led them back out of the bedroom and over to the door.

Kate couldn't really fight that one. He _had_ gotten her the most gorgeous, not to mention the most expensive gown she'd ever owned, and it _had_ fit her perfectly.

"We'll see, Rick," she said as she grabbed her purse and sunglasses from the table in the hall.

He pouted but opened the door and gestured for her to precede him into the hallway. He locked up behind them and together they wheeled their suitcases to the elevator and waited.

"I'll even sit patiently while you try things on," he added as the elevator arrived.

"You're not demanding to come into the changing room with me, so you can watch me pull in and out of some very thin scraps of material, masquerading as bikinis?"

He swallowed. "Well, I wouldn't be adverse to being in the changing room with you," he said breathlessly.

Kate laughed. "We'll see."

They elevator opened and he led her out into the garage and toward his Ferrari.

"We're taking that?" Kate asked as he stopped in front of it.

"I thought you liked this car."

Kate grinned. "I do, but now you're going to have to work pretty hard to get me to let you drive."

"It's my beach bungalow," he protested as he put their suitcases into the trunk and then moved over to the driver's side, where Kate was leaning against the door. "I never get to drive you anywhere."

"You drove me out to see the stars."

He smiled. "True. And, since I plan to have you seeing stars later tonight, perhaps I should do the driving again."

She scrunched up her face. "I don't know whether to be impressed or repulsed by that line, Richard."

He grinned. "Well, _Katherine_, I suppose you'll just have to take me at my word, because," he wrapped and arm around her waist and leaned against the car with his other, bringing his mouth close to hers. "I plan to have you seeing the entire galaxy by the time I'm through with you."

She smiled as his lips met hers and took his moment of distraction to inch her hand down toward his pocket. She was nearing victory when the hand on the car suddenly darted to cover hers on his pocket and he pulled away, smirking.

"You think you're so clever, Kate. But I remember how you got my cell out of my pocket. I'm driving."

"Oh, so now you can just declare it, huh?" she asked as they stepped apart, sizing each other up.

"This is your vacation, and I want you to relax. And, since I don't feel like having a heart attack all the way to the Hamptons, I'm calling driver. Maybe some day this week we can go out on the highway and you can try to show me just how old and frail my heart actually is. But, today," he pulled the keys out of his pocket, clicked the button and hopped into the driver's seat. "I'm driving."

She stood there, staring at him for a moment before grudgingly moving around the car to get into the passenger seat. She buckled in and then looked over at him, a scowl on her face.

"Oh, come on, Katie," he teased, leaning over to place a loud kiss on her cheek. "Buck up. Now you can torture me the entire way there."

"Oh, you can bet on it, Mr. Castle," she smiled.

He laughed and then they were off, gliding out of the garage and onto the street. She watched as the city flew past, the chilly spring air whipping against her face around her large sunglasses. She pulled the zipper up on her hoodie and glanced over at Rick to find him grinning, his own shades pulled down over his eyes.

"And why are you so happy?" she asked.

He found her hand on the seat and wound his fingers through hers. "Beautiful day, fast car, hot girl, and a week of vacation, what's there not to be happy about?" he replied, glancing over at her.

"Hot girl? Really?"

He scoffed. "Gorgeous, brainy, sexy, smart, beautiful, enchanting woman didn't really fit into the list."

She blushed and looked back at the road. "Thanks."

"Thanking me for the truth is silly."

She just squeezed his hand and watched as the city began to fall away and they made their way over the bridge, heading for the Hamptons.


	19. Chapter 19

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: Hire me, and then I'll own 'em. 'Till then? Just a young woman with a computer and a dream.**

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: I said I had plans. Those plans, well, they ran away from me and this happened. It's long, it twists, it turns, it goes to our favorite M RATED MATERIAL**_**. **_**You have been warned.**

**I hope you guys like it. Lemme know what you think. It's different, I think.**

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 19:  
**

"So, Kate," Rick broke the silence she'd been enjoying as a motorcycle sped past them. "Am I ever going to see your famed bike?"

Kate smirked. "I don't know, Rick. Do you think you could handle it?"

He snuck a glance over at her, his face already set to cocky. "Of course I can handle it. I know how to ride a bike."

"Really?" she shook her head. "You're bluffing."

"I can also ride a wave rider and I ride a mean horse."

"Those two don't surprise me. But I really can't see you getting on a deathtrap."

"Murdercycle," he supplied as another one sped past them and wove through a narrow gap between two cars.

"Especially since that's your oh-so-affectionate name for them."

"If you were driving, I think I could deal," he admitted, smiling as he squeezed her hand. "I just don't want Alexis on one."

"Fair," Kate laughed. "I'll think about it."

"You rode one with Josh," he said. She stared at him, noting how wide his eyes were, as though the comment had slipped out without a lot of premeditation. It probably had.

She chose her words carefully. "Josh had been riding long before I met him, and he was an unattached, highly successful, highly well insured guy, who worked with some of the best surgeons in the country. And, while I know you could probably hook us up with the same people, were we to crash and burn on my 'murdercycle,' you have Alexis. Josh…well, his parents would have been horrified, but he would only have been hurting himself."

Rick bobbed his head and gripped her hand a little more tightly. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What if you crashed and burned?"

Kate considered him. "For a very long time, it wouldn't have mattered to much of anyone but my father, and when I was really racing, he wasn't…he was in a place where he wouldn't have really known."

"Oh, Kate."

"No," she smiled and brought his hand over to press a kiss to the back of his palm. "It's okay. He's okay. We're okay. I just meant that, yeah, there was a period where riding fast and furious was a gamble I almost wanted to take."

"And now?"

"Now? Now I wear a really good helmet and ride in good weather."

"But you still ride," he said softly.

"Sometimes you just want to get away," she shrugged.

"It's not just you anymore," he continued.

Kate brought her other hand up to cradle his and she squeezed. "I know."

"Please don't make me come identify you from some mangled road kill."

"Rick," she protested. They were driving, of all places to get into this. And it had gotten serious so fast.

"I just…of all the ways to have to lose you, I don't want it to be that."

Her eyebrows rose. "You have a preferred way to lose me?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and she bit her lip after they tumbled, her fingers toying with his.

"Happily in our old age, is the first," he said, his voice rough. "Otherwise, and I really hate thinking about it, I want it to be fast. Bullet. I don't want you to suffer; I don't want you to struggle. And I damn well want to be there with you. With what you do, and what we've been through it's…it's something I've thought about," he explained.

"Rick," she breathed, her eyes moist. "Please tell me you don't think about this all the time."

He glanced at her and then clicked on the blinker, taking an exit. They rode in a tense silence for a minute while they pulled up to an enormous mall that Kate hadn't even seen as they drove. He parked and then turned to her.

"I've worked with you for close to three years." She nodded. "In that time, you've nearly been blown up, frozen to death, blown up again, shot at, threatened and followed. Serial killers have taken a special interest in you. Snipers have you on constant radar. And somewhere, there is a man who ordered Lockwood to try and take you out. So yes, every time we go to a scene, I think about it."

"I…" she stammered. "God, Rick, it's part of my job."

"I know," he gave her a soft smile. "So sometimes I think about it. But, don't worry, I'm usually much more preoccupied with the joke I'm going to make about the body, or how cool the gadgets are. I'm not walking around picturing your death."

"Good."

"But I do, I do think about it. I'm a morbid person, Kate."

That got a giggle. "And don't I know it."

"And don't tell me you never think about it. In fact, you told me that you do."

He'd remember that. "I do. But it's just something I accept, I guess, like getting on the bike. Death's out there. And one day, it's going to get me, and you. However," she fixed him with a glare. "Get shot, knifed or otherwise unnaturally killed, Richard Castle, and I will personally bring you back to kill you again."

He grinned. "You know, I think we've started this trip well, really tiptoeing into the serious stuff." She laughed and then smiled as he leaned in and kissed her, his free hand coming to rub across her cheek as he pulled back. "Now, let's go get you into an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weenie bikini."

He looked so excited that she couldn't find it in herself to tease. "Let's."

…...

Rick led her eagerly through the mall, stopping at various displays to stare at the mannequins for a moment before shaking his head and moving onward. She could have stopped him, insisted that they just choose a damn store, but he looked so happy and mischievous and, to her horror, she found it utterly endearing. However, after he'd rejected the fifth large store on sight, she stopped him.

"Okay, Castle. What are we looking for that makes Macy's unacceptable?"

"Castle?"

"We're on a mission, apparently, and you look like a kid at Christmas. Right now, you're Castle."

He grinned and grabbed her other hand to pull her into his chest as they stood at the side of the entrance into the store. He wrapped his arms around her and brought his mouth close to hers while she rested her hands on his sides.

"And, when I've got you like this, am I Rick, or Castle?" he asked, keeping his mouth a few centimeters from hers, his breath hot against her lips.

"If you're not going to kiss me, you're Castle."

"And who do you want me to be right now?" he whispered.

She could have smacked him. "I want you to be whoever you want to be, and all that rot. Either kiss me or let me find a swimsui…"

His lips pressed to hers and his arms wound tighter, anchoring her to him in the middle of the shopping mall. She smiled against him and fisted her hands into the light jacket he was wearing. It was this—the catching her off guard—that made him so damn charming. He could switch from aggravating to endearing to romantic in a millisecond. It was both disconcerting and wonderful. His tongue slid along her bottom lip and she obligingly opened her mouth, letting out a small moan as he explored her, his tongue coming to meet hers in a gentle tease.

There was a cough to their left and they pulled apart in surprise. "This is a public place, _kids_, so break it up, would you?" a surly looking guard told them.

Kate blushed and they took a step back from each other, looking more than embarrassed. Kate spotted a group of high school kids gawking at them and quickly grabbed Rick's arm, dragging him into the store to escape the stares. She was a cop, and little could ruffle her, but she hadn't been caught necking in a mall since she was 17. _This_ was embarrassing.

She turned to Rick and found him laughing quietly as she guided them toward the women's section at the back of the store.

"What's so funny?" she asked, her nerves still on edge. How could he be laughing about this?

"You're a cop! And we just got schooled by a mall cop!"

"How is that funny?" she hissed, glancing around to make sure that no one was paying attention to them. "We could have gotten arrested for public indecency!"

He stopped laughing and gave her an incredulous look. "I thought you were tougher than that."

"Excuse me?"

"If you consider that public indecency, then you, Katherine Beckett, haven't lived enough."

He was challenging her. Hadn't they just had a long conversation about just how much she 'lived' and how much risk she took doing it? She met his eyes and found him staring back at her with equal measures of desire and bravado. She narrowed her eyes.

"You want to see me live a little, Richard?" He nodded seriously. She looked around and spotted the bathing suits, zoning in on the host of _very_ tiny-weenie bikinis. "Alright, follow me."

She took his hand and yanked him over to the rack, grabbed four suitable bikinis and then tugged him into the changing rooms. The clerk met her eyes, gave her a knowing smile, and didn't say a word. Well, that was a hurtle out of the way.

Kate led him through the stalls, around the corner and to the back of the room, where they were least likely to be disturbed. Calculated living—it was what she was best at, and really, he'd be so speechless when she was through with him that it hardly mattered.

"In the stall," she directed, opening the door. He grinned and entered. She hung the suits up on the wall and then turned to him, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Sit."

He did as he was told, eagerly, and plopped down on the bench in the corner. "Are you going to strip for me, Katie?"

"Not if you call me Katie again," she growled.

"But I like Katie," he protested as she slipped off her jacket and took a step toward him so that she was standing in the vee of his legs.

"If you want me to strip down for you and shimmy in and out of little scraps of fabric, you call me Kate. You get Katie for rare, _rare_ occasions." He nodded and swallowed as she reached for the hem of her tank top. "Sure you can handle it, Ricky?"

His eyes darkened and he suddenly darted out a hand to 'help' her yank the tank top off and over her head, tossing it to his side on the bench. She glared at him for the manhandling and found him looking back at her, his eyes stormy with desire and something else she couldn't quite understand.

"You don't get Ricky if I can't use Katie," he explained.

She nodded and then undid the clasp of her pants. "Can I remove these, or do you need to help?"

He smiled and reached out, pulling her to him by the loops of her jeans and together they divested her of her pants, so she stood before him in just her black panties and lacy bra. He ran his hands up and down her sides, looking up at her with those eyes.

"You know you're absolutely gorgeous," he murmured as he caressed her skin. "Mind-bendingly stunning."

She smiled softly and blushed. This wasn't really what she'd had in mind. She'd dragged him in here to put on a show—prove her 'livability.' And instead, he was caressing her like they were standing in his bedroom hours after sex, just touching her for the sake of touching her. But she wanted to shock him; they had plenty of time for endless caresses later.

She gently lowered his hands and stepped back from him, smirking at his confusion. "Now, Mr. Castle. I believe you challenged me to 'live a little,' was it?"

He nodded and she watched him swallow again as she reached back and unclasped her bra. She brought the straps down off of her shoulders with aching slowness and then slid the garment from her body, tossing it to him. "Hold that, will you?"

He caught it, staring at her as she shimmied out of her panties, tossing those at his face. They hit him square in his slacked jaw. She turned slowly and then sauntered over to him to reach up for one of the suits on the hook by his head, making sure to bounce a bit more than was strictly necessary as she did. She pulled down the little bronze number and stepped back, looking down to see just how well Rick was faring.

His eyes were wide and his fists had clenched on his thighs as he swept her body in his gaze.

"Do you like what you see, Mr. Castle?"

"Very much," he replied, his voice surprisingly steady. "Seeing, however, isn't as nice as touching."

She smirked and pulled the bikini top on, letting it cover the _very_ small amount of skin it was capable of, tying the halter up around her neck and then quickly latching the strap around her back. Then she wrapped the bottoms around herself. "I may need some help tying the sides here, to keep it up. Could you possibly handle that for me?" she asked, stepping toward him, the sides of the suit held on her hips by each of her hands. She turned to the side and offered the strings to him.

He grinned and took them from her, tying them in a bow she just knew was too loose. Pretending not to notice, she turned between his legs and offered him the other side, which he took, tying an even looser bow on her left hip before planting a soft kiss into her side.

She smiled and turned to face him, feeling the fabric slip. He moved his hands up to her hips and the bottoms promptly fell to the floor.

"Oops," he murmured as he pulled her closer. She deftly stepped out of the slip of fabric now on pooled at her feet and then squeaked as he pulled her down onto his lap. His hands rose to her back, and she felt the clasp of the strap open. He undid the bow around her neck and then tugged the flimsy piece off and laid it to the side, so she sat bare on his legs.

His mouth found her breast and she bit her lips to prevent the gasp of surprise and pleasure from escaping. He guided her to straddle him, her legs coming to wrap around his waist as his lips sucked and kissed and licked over her chest. She wound her hands into his hair, gripping at him as she arched her back.

"This," he murmured against her skin. "Is living, Kate."

She was hard pressed to reply with anything more than a quiet moan of agreement. Hadn't she been planning on leaving _him_ speechless? She felt one of his hands slide from her waist around to her front to ghost over her stomach, sending shivers up and down her body. Then, it moved lower to touch her, and they were both surprised to find her more than ready.

"Rick," she gasped as he swirled a finger over her, her hips bucking slightly at the feeling. "We…we can't…not here…"

"Shh," he whispered against her breast as he slipped a finger into her.

She buried her face into his neck and pressed her lips to his skin, her eyes squeezed shut at the feeling of him inside of her. He lifted his head from her breast and trailed his lips up her clavicle, rubbing his other hand over her neck to coax her into lifting her head. She met his heated gaze and pulled his face to hers, meeting him in a heated kiss while his fingers drove her wild. He curled two inside her and she groaned into his mouth as he found the spot to make her see stars behind her eyelids.

With a crashing intensity, she tumbled over, biting his lip and squeezing her hands into his back. He stroked her back down, his hands soft against her skin, lips placing butterfly kisses to hers while she tried to regain her breathing.

She panted quietly as he released her. He smiled, bringing his hand up to his mouth as she watched him through heavily lidded eyes. He sucked his own fingers into his mouth and she felt her jaw drop while he grinned, releasing his digits with a pop. How the hell had he made _that_ sexy? Wasn't that her move?

"Feel a bit more alive?" he murmured, pleased with himself.

She let her face split into a satisfied smile. "I do, and," she shifted against him, finding _him_ quite ready and alert against her thigh, "I'd say you certainly do."

"There's nothing like feeling you come apart at my hand," he said seriously, dipping his head briefly to place a kiss on her shoulder. "You're ungodly sexy," he said as he wound his arms back around her waist.

"If you let me up I'll show you just how ungodly I can be," she replied, rolling her hips, watching his eyes fluttered.

He blinked and then met her stare. "No thanks."

"No thanks?" she replied indignantly. "You have me naked and hot on your lap and you say no thanks?"

He met her gaze and she was surprised to see his eyes completely dark with desire. "Oh, my dear, I'll show you just how much I'm not saying _no_ when we get to the house. But I fear that while you may be able to control yourself, I may not, and then we really will get arrested for public indecency."

She laughed quietly. "I think we're lucky no one's come back here yet."

"Get the tan one. I think I'm attached," he replied, releasing her to help her shift forward and off his lap. She stood slowly, her muscles still lax from his hands. He steadied her and grinned. She just shook her head and then stepped back, appraising his 'situation.'

"Do I need to give you a minute?" she asked as she bent and picked up the bottoms that had been the first casualty.

He just smiled. "I'll figure it out. You get dressed."

She shrugged and stretched up to grab the hanger, deliberately bringing her chest back to his face. She made an act of opening each clip to get the top onto the hanger and then took her dear sweet time tying the strings to the bottom over the arms. After 30 seconds, he growled and grabbed the thing from her.

"I'll do this, you horrible tease."

She laughed and stepped aside to shimmy back into her underwear and bra, before slipping into her jeans and pulling on her shirt. All the while, Rick sat with his head facing the opposite wall, the bathing suit hanger held limply in his hands.

"You okay there, Rick?" she asked as she shrugged into her jacket.

He turned and met her gaze with a surprisingly calm smile. "Yep. Ready to go. You?"

She just stared at him. "How much practice have you had with this 'living?' Actually, you know what, I don't want to know, horse boy."

He laughed and stood, passing her the disregarded suits that they'd never gotten to. She unlocked the door and together they walked out of the changing room. The girl at the counter just smiled at Kate and winked. Kate averted her eyes and put the remaining suits on the rack before grabbing Rick's hand and tugging him out of the swimsuit department and back toward the front of the store. They'd find somewhere else to pay.

"It's not experience, it's the ability to delay gratification," he murmured into her ear as they stood on line at the front of the store. "And I plan to be _gratified_ for the next seven days. I can wait another hour."

…...

Kate was ridiculously relaxed for the last hour of their drive. The play of the breeze across her face and the, well, the endorphins from their little 'escapade' in the changing room didn't hurt either. Rick kept sneaking glances at her and then grinning as he turned his attention back to the road. And while it was a bit annoying, she just didn't have it in her to reprimand him for it. Hell, he _should_ be proud. That had been one hell of an orgasm.

"We're here," he said as he pulled the car into a driveway, coaxing Kate out of her hazy daydreams.

She blinked. The house she was looking at could barely be classified as a house, let alone anything smaller than a mansion. She stared at it while he hopped out and got their luggage from the trunk, coming around to her door by the time she'd managed to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"This is a bungalow?" she asked as he opened the door and she stepped out of the car. "What do you call a house? I'd be terrified."

He laughed. "So bungalow was a little understated. But trust me, compared to the other houses around here, this is small."

She stared at the enormous blue house, with its two stories, various nooks and crannies, large wrap around porch and oceanside view and simply shook her head. So _this_ was life with Richard Castle.

"Come on, I'll show you around, and then we can take a walk on the beach, maybe?"

"Okay," she said weakly as she allowed him to usher her up the front steps. He stopped and unlocked the door, swinging the large, mahogany doors wide. "Welcome to Casa Castle, the second."

Kate just stared as they stepped inside. It was gorgeous. The floors were solid oak and the walls were white, with picture upon picture of Alexis hung at various points all around the expansive foyer. She could see the living room off to the right and caught a glimpse of a table through the railing of the large staircase that made up the center of the room. To the left, down the hall created by the outer wall and the staircase, she saw a window that looked out at the sauna and what looked like servants quarters. She glanced around for Rick and found him walking up the stairs with their bags.

"Be right back. Check the fridge to see if Paul got food in? It's around the stairs."

She did as asked and padded through the large living room, momentarily halted by the sight of the enormous shelves that lined the far wall of the room. The couch faced the southern wall, where a huge river-stone fireplace sat between two expansive windows. The shelves, filled with all manner of books, from first editions to well-worn paperbacks, lined the massive far wall from floor to high ceiling.

She shook herself out of her reverie and continued through and around the stairs to the kitchen, which was expansive. Everything in the house was enormous. There were wrap around marble counters and an island at the far corner of the room. Between the living room and the kitchen sat a gorgeous dining table, made of maple, with eight matching chairs. She hadn't even seen the second story yet, and she was blown away.

She made her way over to the giant fridge and opened it to find it fully stocked with all manner of foods, from fresh meats and cheeses to a startlingly diverse array of fruits and vegetables. There was an espresso machine on the counter and she smiled as she shut the fridge, imagining Rick in here, making coffee in his pajama bottoms while she perched on one of the island stools, clad only in his button down. She'd have to make sure they did that. The fact that it was utterly domestic didn't even faze her.

"I take it you're pleased with the bungalow, so far?" his voice startled her out of the vision and she looked up to find Rick smiling at her from the other side of the island, shades perched merrily on his head.

"It's, God, Rick, this place is amazing."

"I'd try to say something to the contrary, but I do really love it here."

"That library," she continued, walking around the island to stand next to him, staring into the other room. "I mean, how can you even have that many books? I've spent a good deal of time at your apartment, and I thought you had a lot of books there."

"Collecting, buying, reviewing…you tend to rack them up when you're…"

"When you're?"

"Okay, obviously, I have money. This house kind of can't hide that. But, uh, don't judge me for this?"

"Rick…"

"When you're as successful as I am, you tend to have a lot of books, and first editions and signed copies. I'm constantly receiving books to review, or to read or just…I don't really like to bring this up."

She laughed. "Seriously?"

He looked at her. "I may be an ass at my parties and do the publicity thing, but you're not…you've never been in it for the money, and I don't want you to be. And the guys? The Precinct? They don't care about my money or my success, and I like…I like being real with you guys."

She smiled as he spoke and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek before she wrapped her arms around him in tight hug. He brought his arms up to cradle her against him and she pressed her forehead into his neck.

"I like that you're real with us too," she told him. "And I don't want your money." He laughed. "I hate your fame." He laughed harder. "And I could care less how many books you've sold, as long as I get to read them."

"First one," he murmured into her hair.

"I'm glad. But, don't feel like you have to hide it from me, you know? I know you're rich. Hell, you threw down 100,000 dollars like it was nothing to help me last year. Not to mention all of the nice things you've done for us, and for other people—the bars you've purchased to preserve their history."

"I just want to help."

"I know," she kissed his neck. "And I understand. And yeah, there are going to be times when it pisses the hell out of me, because I'll be in the tabloids, or reporters will be hounding us, asking when we're getting married, or if the baggy shirt I'm wearing means that you knocked me up." She felt him suck in a breath and laughed against his skin.

"But mostly, Rick, I just want this, with you, and if it means that I have to eat good meals and choose from the most impressive collection of books I've ever seen, using it like my own personal library, then so be it."

He chuckled and gave her a squeeze. "Do you want to do that now, or would you be interested in a walk along the beach?"

"If I'm guaranteed some time with those books later, I'll definitely take a walk now."

They pulled apart and he took her hand, guiding her through the double glass doors by the table and out onto the porch at the back of the house. They had a straight view of the ocean, separated by their own private stretch of beach.

"Good lord, Rick."

He squeezed her hand. "I know. It's amazing in the summer. You can just take a running start and go straight into the water. It's how Alexis usually starts our trips here, clothes and all."

Kate laughed as they set down the steps. "I bet that's something to see."

He grinned. "Oh yeah. Especially when I do it."

They hit the sand and Kate let out a sigh. It had been ages since she'd been to the beach. And even in the brisk chill of spring, it was amazing. The ocean was a stormy blue, set against the blue-gray of the partly cloudy sky, and the air was completely clear and free.

"I've missed the beach," she murmured as they meandered toward the water.

"I'm sorry we haven't gotten out here sooner then," he replied. She bit her lip. They'd never actually talked about the previous summer. "What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing," she deflected.

"I know that look. What's up?"

Did she really want to bring this up, now? They'd just gotten here. "I…it's in the past."

He stopped them so that they stood a few feet from the gentle lapping of the ocean. "Does this have something to do with last summer?"

She met his eyes. "It might."

"Because I go over it all the time, and I know I screwed up. I should have called. God, I should have called. But it was more than that. I did something else, and no one's ever been willing to tell me what it was."

Kate sighed and squeezed his hands. "Do you remember at your going away party, when I was going to tell you something?" He nodded. "I was…I had just broken up with Tom and I was ready to…you invited me up here, remember?"

"You were going to say yes?" he asked, his face twisted in surprise and some sort of heartbreak. "You were going to say yes, and Gina showed up and…Oh, Kate."

She gave a weak laugh. "It's okay, Rick. It sucked, at the time, but I did the same to you, more than once, if I'm not mistaken."

"Not intentionally, and God, I hadn't just broken up with someone specifically to…Kate, I'm _so_ sorry."

She leaned up and kissed him, stopping his protests. His hands came up to cradle her face while she wrapped her arms around his waist. When they finally came up for air, she reached up on her tiptoes to press her forehead to his.

"We screwed up, Rick, both of us. But I think…I think it was for the better. And yeah, it hurt. We hurt each other, but we didn't mean to, and God, I wouldn't give this up for anything," she whispered.

"Me either."

"So, can we just add it to the story? Call it good foreshadowing, or something?"

He laughed loudly, and pressed a smacking kiss to her lips. "God, you're sexy."

She giggled. "That turns you on, Big Rick?"

"Oh yeah," he murmured as he brought his head down to press a string of kisses to her neck. "Do it again."

She smiled and then gasped as he ghosted over that spot on her neck they were both so fond of. "You and me, it's like we've been the action during an aside, where someone smarter than the two of us just kept saying 'get it together, man!'"

"So hot," he groaned, bringing his hands down to slip under her shirt.

"How alone are we on this beach?"

"Paul says no one within four houses either way is up here, and we're private by house anyway."

She let her head fall back to give him greater access. "We're periodic, delaying grammatical closure with adjectives and nouns until it just can't be held off any longer."

She gasped as he roughly pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside, wrapping his arms around her and then gently lowering them into the soft sand. "Rick," she protested faintly while he settled himself between her legs, still covering her face and neck with soft kisses.

"Do you have any idea how amazing you are? How hot you are? How God damned sexy you are?" he asked between kisses. "You just…God. You know what a periodic sentence is?

She laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "If that's what turns you on, Rick, I'll go buy a Chicago Manual of Style tomorrow."

He beamed at her and brought their lips together for a searing kiss that was at once hot, heavy, gentle and tender. When he pulled back, she could barely catch her breath for the passion of the kiss and the look of utter adoration on his face.

"You can borrow mine. Hell, you can _have_ mine."

"Have your what?" she panted, working her hands into his jacket to push it off of his shoulders. He reared back to pull it and his shirt off, and then crashed back down to her, his lips finding her earlobe. He laved it with his tongue and then pulled it between his teeth, letting out a low growl at the moan she emitted at the gesture.

"You can have my whole library. You can have my whole everything."

She felt the little breath she had catch as he brought his face back to hers so that they could look at each other. "Per…periodic," she murmured.

He nodded. "Just waiting for the right combination of adjectives and nouns, or the lack thereof, to get this closure. But you and me, that's it. Period. Paragraph. End of story. Because I'm not letting you go."


	20. Chapter 20

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: Here's hoping that someday I have characters that make other people want to write about them. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: So, this is the Hamptons, my friends. And here, well, here we enjoy fluff and cuddles and romance. Substance? What's that? Drama? What is that crap? Angst? The hell? **

**Lemme know what you think. Whoever has the best 'fluff' response wins a prize.**

**Emma**

* * *

**Chapter 20:**

"Period," she whispered.

"Paragraph," he replied, brushing a kiss against her lips.

"Wanna make a compound sentence, Rick? Combine two similar ideas?"

He grinned, his face lighting up with the most amazing smile. "I would _love_ to."

She smiled and leaned up to capture him into a consuming kiss. She was just as eager to get there, get to that place, get to 'in love.' But they were going to wait. Two days had never before seemed so long, nor so enticing.

Rick broke away from the kiss after a moment and stood rapidly. Kate blinked in surprise, still lying in the sand, her shirt tossed somewhere out of reach and her nearly bare chest heaving.

"Rick?" He'd bent out of sight. Then he was scooping her up and carrying her toward the house, their shirts clutched in one of his hand. "Rick," she laughed as he kissed over her face. "You can put me down."

"Nope."

"Seriously," she chuckled as she noticed his breathing speeding up. "This isn't actually doing much for my ego."

He scoffed. "You're not heavy. I'm just not used to hiking through sand with a lovely woman in my arms. It's the foot work, not the weight."

"Oh, well, by all means then, carry me to the house."

"Your wish is my command."

And he did carry her all the way up to the porch, through the glass doors, and over to the bottom of the stairs, at which point Kate just couldn't let him do it anymore. "Okay, Prince Charming, time to let the princess down," she said as he nearly stumbled them into the wall.

"But, I…"

"If you're interested in creating conjunctions, Rick, I need you to have more stamina. And I'd rather we spend the whole, long day in bed," she nipped at his neck, "than have you carry me up those stairs now and spend the next long week in bed because you can't move."

His eyes darkened while he pretended to be offended. He set her down on the first stair and they stood there, eye to eye, chest to chest, smile to smirk.

"I have more than enough stamina."

"Are you sure," she countered. "Enough for a long, hard, hot, week?"

"The whole week? That's ambitious, Miss Beckett," he said as his hands trailed down her back, tracing patterns against her skin.

"Well, not the _whole_ week," she acquiesced, hearing her voice hitch as he ran his hands over her shoulders and down her neck to trace along her clavicle. "You promised me a library."

"Oh, but Miss Beckett," he hummed, leaning in to press his mouth to her jaw, "I can show you things you'll never learn in books."

"Hmm," she replied, tilting her head back to give him better access as she hitched a leg up to his hip, cradling his strong shoulders to her body with her arms.

"And we can leave the bedroom," he sighed into her ear. "There's a Jacuzzi, and a large," kiss, "steamy," kiss, "shower."

"I might need some practical lessons," she whispered as his mouth finally met hers again. He brought one hand down to grip her thigh, wrapped around him, and they swayed there, moving together in a delicate dance, soft friction vibrating through them.

Slowly, she lowered her leg and stepped up, dragging him with her. He followed, refusing to let go of her. And so they backed up the stairs, pausing to lean against the railing so that he could move his mouth to her lace covered chest, stumbling into the wall at the top of the stairs so that she could remove his belt, banging into the door as he unbuttoned her jeans. They finally made it into the master bedroom, and Kate realized that she hadn't even looked around the upper floor on the way.

But then she hit the bed and they tumbled backward, falling onto the soft, white comforter, legs, arms, chests, and mouths entwined. And as his hands strayed down to finish removing her pants and his tongue swirled with hers, she found that she didn't quite care that she hadn't looked around, or that they'd left their shirts in the kitchen, or that the sounds she was making were barely human in nature. She just wanted his mouth and his hands and his body and his _love_, and nothing else in that moment mattered more.

He stripped her bare and she returned the favor, giggling as they exchanged loud, wet kisses. She reached up and cupped his cheeks as he pulled back to look at her, laying beneath him, his warm, heavy weight pressed to her chest.

"Conjunctions, you say?" he said quietly.

"Please," she replied.

And then the world fell away for a long while, with nothing but the feel and smell and taste and sound of him to fill her thoughts and bombard her senses.

…...

Thunder clapped outside and rain beat at the windows, a storm unleashing over the house. Kate smiled as he pulled her closer against his chest while they lay in bed facing the large bay window that looked out on the choppy sea. She wove her fingers through his on her stomach. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, his face resting against hers on her shoulder while they spooned.

"I love the weather here," he murmured. "It changes so rapidly."

"It's gorgeous."

"I usually hate rain. In the city, it's just an imposition, unless you're lucky enough to be caught in the park in a good mood. But here? With the ocean and the breeze and the freedom? It's wonderful."

"Such a romantic," she chuckled.

"That I am," he agreed, squeezing her. "Thanks for letting me romance you."

Kate smiled. "I'm not unromantic."

"Not my point," he sighed, moving his face against hers. "I know you're a softie when you're not at work."

"M'not," she yawned.

He laughed. "Not weak, just…you're warm, Kate. You're loving and generous and kind. You hug, and kiss, and touch just like anyone else. Better than anyone else, actually," he said, shifting the leg that was nestled between hers, making her laugh. "I meant, thank you for letting me be the one to romance you. Thank you for coming here with me, and putting up with me, and kissing me, and hugging me, and doing ungodly amazing things to me with your body."

Kate turned her head to find his lips in a languid kiss that spoke of just how _ungodly_ _amazing_ the last few hours had been. When they broke apart, she pressed her cheek to his and squeezed his hand. "Thank you for romancing me, Rick."

They lay there quietly, watching the storm, cocooned in the bed together, thoughts of murder and mayhem and responsibility far away. When the light began to fade, they both sighed.

"We need to eat," she said quietly. Had they really been in bed all afternoon? He shifted behind her. "Eat food," she added.

He laughed loudly and nuzzled his face into her neck. "Your mind is a constant surprise," he said against her skin.

"Why? Yours was already there," she laughed as he blew a raspberry into her neck.

"But you're the mature one!" he countered, moving over her, shifting them so that he was propped up on his forearms while she lay on her back, staring up at his face.

"Maybe I don't want to be mature," she shrugged. "Besides, it's so much fun," she flipped them over in one fluid motion, landing so that she straddled his waist, her own body held up by arms she placed on either side of his head. "To shock you."

He laughed and they just smiled at each other. Kate couldn't remember another time when she'd been so utterly carefree—so open and happy, just lying in bed with a man. She leaned down and met him as he reached up, smiling into the kiss.

When she pulled away a few minutes later, they were both breathing heavily. "Okay, let's get food before the clock chimes midnight," he said, his eyes dark with lust and passion.

"That's a lofty assumption."

"Kate, it's nearing seven. We've been here since three. I don't think that's lofty at all."

Had they really? She laughed. "Okay, food."

She clambered off of him and they stood, hands entwined in the dim light of the fading sun through the windows. Kate shivered. Rick smiled and led her to the bathroom, turning on the lights as they entered. It was gorgeous. White tile and marble counters, with an enormous tub in one corner, and dual-headed walk in shower in the other.

"Is anything in this house less than spectacular?" she asked as he turned on the shower.

"Not really," he grinned. "Why have a beach bungalow if it's not perfect?"

"You really have to stop calling it a bungalow," she laughed. "Now get in the shower, I have to go to the bathroom."

He laughed. "Glad you're comfortable with me," he told her, stepping into the spray and closing the frosted glass door.

Kate was a bit surprised herself, but it just didn't feel awkward with him. They were human. Humans peed. And she didn't need to hide things from him. She didn't need twenty minutes in the bathroom before they had sex. She didn't need to do herself up before breakfast. She didn't need to appear flawless all the time. She didn't want to pretend that she was inhuman with Rick.

When she was done, she washed her hands and opened the glass door, eyeing his water-slicked back and ass appreciatively.

"See something you like?" he asked, turning to face her.

"Yes," she said evenly, walking over to run her hands down his chest. "You're holding the shampoo."

He narrowed his eyes and relinquished the bottle, watching as she poured a dollop into her hand and lathered up her hair, already wet from the walk to him in the cavernous shower. He eyed her as she reached up and ran her fingers through her hair, the soap cascading down her body.

"See something you like?" she asked.

He nodded. "My gorgeous girlfriend, wet and soapy. Remind me why we need to eat, again?"

She laughed quietly and reached around him for the conditioner. "Because we need the calories."

"But I see something to nibble on right now," he said, reaching out a hand to run it down her side, coming to rest on her hip while she did her hair. He brought his other hand up to rest by her ear, thumb stroking her cheek. "I could survive on you."

She blushed and leaned her face into his hand. "Rick."

He just smiled at her. "I know, I'm laying it on. But it's true."

"No," she shook her head. "Not bad, just…I don't have words," she said quietly. "You're so good with everything—the explaining, the romance, the…the everything. And I can't always find the right thing to say to tell you, and 'me too' sounds so inadequate," she explained.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his forehead to hers, looking into her eyes while the water flowed down around them. "You're wonderful with words," he said softly. "But, this, right now? Your eyes? You're telling me everything just by looking at me."

She smiled and pressed her mouth to his for a moment, before pulling back to look at him. "I'm glad because I…everything and more, Rick. Truly."

He beamed. "I know. Now, come on, let's go get some food. I'm hungry."

She laughed and together they stepped from the shower, drying each other and shuffling domestically around the bathroom, passing combs and robes to each other with ease and abandon. They grinned at each other in the large mirror and then went back into the bedroom to throw on sweats and tee shirts.

"When did you get one of those?" she asked, surprised to find him wearing an NYPD tee shirt.

"Oh, the guys gave it to me a while back."

"Why haven't you worn it before?" she asked, taking his hand as they left the bedroom.

"Never had the right opportunity," he shrugged. "You like it?"

"It's very you."

"Awesome," he grinned.

She just laughed and looked around as they walked down the hall. There were a number of rooms on the second story. She caught a glimpse of a study, a pink room that was probably Alexis', two more bedrooms, and what looked like a communal bathroom.

"This place could house twenty people," she said while they made their way down the stairs.

"I suppose," he replied. "But it's better with fewer."

"This really is your escape, isn't it?" she asked.

He nodded. "I mean, I've never really had much to escape from, but I like having somewhere away from the pomp and the publicity."

"You're very down to earth, Rick."

"Now."

She shook her head and hopped up onto one of the island stools while he opened the fridge. "You've been grounded the whole time, for Alexis."

He turned to look at her. "I guess. But in other parts of my life? Not at _all_."

She laughed. "Police Horses."

He tapped his temple and grimaced. "Right in one."

"Are there actually pictures?" she asked a minute later, when he'd extracted some chicken breasts and a box of rice.

He considered her. "There might be. Why?"

"Just curious."

"If you get those, I get to see more of those modeling pictures," he replied, brandishing a spatula at her as he removed it from a drawer.

She spluttered. "What? You…they? I'm going to _kill_ them!" He laughed and she fumed. "You were not supposed to see those."

"You were cute," he replied. "Oh, come on, Kate."

"No," she crossed her arms. "Those were embarrassing, and I…I'm going to kill them!"

He came over to stand in front of her. "You were adorable. Stop being so defensive," he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I think it's adorable. And I think it's amazing that you chose this life over that one. You could have been highly successful."

"And vapid and empty and miserable," she replied.

He shook his head. "You'd never be vapid or empty. Miserable, maybe, since I honestly can't see you being happy with being nothing but a body to almost everyone. And your mind…well, that would have been a crime to waste."

Her mouth twitched. "Good pun."

He grinned. "Thanks. But, what I meant was that it's remarkable that you took this path, instead of the easy one. One that would have thrown men at your feet and money in your wallet."

"My mother," she whispered.

"I know. But it's more than that, Kate." She nodded. "You're amazing at this."

"Thank you."

"I'm glad you're not a model."

"Me too," she laughed, looking up to meet his eyes.

"And I'm glad that you caught that first case."

"Me too."

He grinned. "Oh, how far we've come."

"Shut up, Castle."

He laughed. "But not too far, right?" He went back to the counter to strip the chicken and put on a pot of rice.

Kate watched as he moved around, talking enthusiastically about their first meeting and the case, telling her a story she knew by heart. And as she listened to his account of the 'beautiful, terrifying and completely, utterly sexy Detective,' he'd met that night, she smiled. How far they'd come indeed.


	21. Chapter 21

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: Here's hoping that someday I have characters that make other people want to write about them. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: And the winner from the last chapter, for this nugget of brilliance, "**In bed for four hours? I'm surprised Kate can even walk. lol Hell, who needs the gym?" **is Cloudbouncing! Congratulations. Your prize is a virtual hug and huge high five. *HUG AND HIGH FIVE! (and apology for not being able to send physical thanks via the internet). **

**This chapter is, well, something I think we've all been waiting for. See my note at the bottom for my other thoughts. **

* * *

**Chapter 21:**

Kate rolled over the next morning when the sunlight hit her square in the face. She burrowed into Rick's chest, groaning, and felt him laugh.

"What?" she grumbled. "S'early."

"It's about 12:30."

"What?" she cracked an eye open and peered up at him. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you been awake?"

He smiled. "Just a few minutes. You looked comfy."

"Yeah, until I got a face full of sunshine. Why don't you have blinds?"

He shrugged, his chest rising and falling against hers. "Don't normally need them. Nice that it's cleared up though."

"I liked the storm," she admitted.

"Suits you."

"Oh really?"

"Tempestuous, fierce, strikingly beautiful—yeah, I'd say that fits your personality just fine."

Kate smiled. "You know, if anyone had told me three years ago that I'd be laying in bed with Richard Castle, at his Hamptons _villa_, listening to him liken me to a thunder storm, I wouldn't have believed them."

"Are you happy that they were right?" he asked.

"No one ever told me this would happen."

"The fates, Kate. Duh."

"I don't believe in fate. We've established this already."

He gave a dramatic sigh and shifted so that he could look down at her. "You haven't changed your mind yet?"

"Well, someone named Alexander did save my life a number of times recently, but I don't think that's fate."

"How? How can it not be fate when the psychic's daughter told you an 'Alexander' would, what was it, save your life?"

Right. She'd never actually told him what Penny had said. "Right."

"And, that Alexander just _happens_ to be me? What else did she tell you?"

Kate looked away, staring out the window at the sunny beach. "That he'd save my life and be very important to me."

"Huh. Well, I can speak for one."

"You know you're important to me," she whispered.

"Okay, so she's two for two. And yet you still doubt fate?"

Kate returned her eyes to his. "I just like to think that we got here on our own, no fate needed. I know you're big into magic, and I don't really mind; it's nice most of the time. But me? I'm just glad we're here, fate, psychics, magic, rainbows or not."

He leaned down and captured her in a kiss, gently rolling them until he lay on top of her, his body warm above hers. She ran her fingers through his hair and smiled against his lips while his fingers trailed up and down her side with the hand that wasn't propping him up.

"Morning," she said as they broke apart by inches, foreheads pressed together.

"Afternoon," he laughed.

"Don't care," she murmured, letting her hands move across his skin. She loved touching him. It made no sense, simply wanting to run her fingers over him, play with his hair, hold his hand; but he was solid and strong and warm and handsome and she couldn't find the rational part of her that used to hate such feelings. She couldn't find the colder woman who sneered at dependence and looked down on this type of connection, as a hazard, as a danger, as a loss.

"Do you want to get up, or are you really considering a second day in bed?" he asked, nuzzling her nose with his.

She laughed. "Food would be good, and then yeah, I'd go do something. What's there to do?"

He smiled and then sat them up, momentarily distracted as the sheets fell away and Kate was left topless in the bright light of the room.

"Eyes up, Ricky," she cooed.

He grinned. "It's a good view, what can I say? As far as things to do, there's a town nearby and lots of beach to explore. We have the hot tub, but I think the pool might be a bit cold. And then there's the library."

"There is that."

"Maybe you want to curl up tonight?"

She nodded. "I say we eat, take a walk and then read a good book."

"Is there a bath in there somewhere?" he asked slyly.

"There might be," she replied. "But right now, I think there needs to be a shower."

He nodded. They got out together and he pulled her into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth while he turned on the shower. He joined her at the counter and brushed his own teeth. She was done before him and sauntered into the shower, wiggling her hips more than was strictly necessary as she did. She heard him groan around his mouth full of toothpaste and grinned, reaching for the shampoo. The shower was heaven, with fantastic water pressure and soft tile beneath her feet. The shower in her own apartment was practical, but far from perfect.

"Don't you wish we could take this shower home?" he asked as he came in, stepping under the opposite spray so that he could watch as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair.

"Yours is pretty great," she shrugged. "And mine suffices."

"I like yours," he replied. "It's cozy."

Kate snorted. "Cozy? We can barely move in it if we're in there together."

He reached for her, tugging her into his chest so that he could wrap his arms around her. "And that's a problem because?"

"We never _actually_ shower! I have to kick you out every time."

"But not showering is so much more satisfying," he said huskily, leaning down to press his lips to the side of her jaw.

"Rick," she sighed, running a hand along his arm. "I need a few more hours."

He pulled back and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

She laughed. "What are you apologizing for? I was the one who initiated round four when we got back into bed last night."

He grinned. "That's right. It _was_ you!"

"And, not that I didn't enjoy it..."

"Twice."

"Yeah, yeah," she shook her head at his antics. "But I just…I need a little time if I want to be able to be up and about for the rest of this trip."

"Then time you shall have," he smiled.

He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss while he gently caressed her skin, washing away the suds from her hair. He reached over and grabbed the conditioner, pouring a dollop into his hands. Soft fingers trailed through her hair and she smiled up at him, watching as he tilted her head back into the spray, making sure to get all of the conditioner out, concentration written all over his face. When he was sure that all of the product had washed away, he turned her around and pulled her into his chest with one hand while he grabbed a loofa with the other.

She leaned against him as he washed her, smiling at the tenderness in the gesture. This was what she loved about showers with Rick, even more than the shower sex, which was admittedly fantastic; he was just as content to stand with her under the spray, washing her, letting her wash him, and holding her, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Eventually, he put the loofa down and his hands came to rest on her abdomen, massaging gently.

"You okay?"

She smiled. "It's a good ache, Rick."

"Yeah?"

"You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

"Well, everyone likes to have their ego stroked every now and again."

"I stroked your _ego_ more than enough last night."

He laughed, the sound rumbling through her body. "I never get tired of the fact that your mind is dirtier than mine."

"Oh, you have no idea."

His arms tightened around her and he pressed a smacking kiss to her wet cheek. "Tease."

She smiled and then turned to return the favor, washing his hair and running the loofa over his chest and back. He wasn't chiseled, the way some of her boyfriends had been—cough, Dr. Motorcycle Boy, cough—but he was toned and strong beneath her fingers. And the fact that he could keep up with her and best her when it came to words and intelligence more than made up for it. To top that off, rounds one through four the previous day had been some of the best they'd ever had together, and certainly the best she'd ever had with anyone. And if he could do that to her body, so many times that she'd lost track (he probably knew the total and how many times per round), then it couldn't matter less that he didn't have washboard abs.

They stood under the water for a few minutes, just looking at each other, before Rick's stomach rumbled.

"Okay, we need to eat," she laughed when he made no move to get out of the shower.

"But I'm enjoying this," he protested, giving her a squeeze.

"We have all week, Rick. Not to mention the fact that your shower at home is capable of something like this too."

"But you're not always there, and we don't usually have an hour to waste in the shower."

Kate just shook her head, willing away the part of her that wanted to offer to be there all the time. She should hold out, right? A month wasn't really long enough to date before moving in. At least, that's what she should be telling herself.

"We can still take long showers at some point. But if we die of hunger before then it'll just be pathetic. So, lemme go, Writer Boy."

"Man. Writer _Man_," he groused as he reluctantly let her go and turned off the water.

They got out and dried off, moving about their morning—now afternoon—ritual with ease. Kate went into the bedroom before Rick was done and opened her suitcase, pondering her options. She didn't want to wear jeans or tight leggings, and settled instead on a light yellow sundress and a brown sweater. She donned the clothes and then took out her blow dryer, moving over to the large bureau in the corner to plug it in. She sat down and began doing her hair, smiling when she noticed Rick watching her, clad only in a pair of cotton pants, a shirt held in his hand.

"Riddle me this, Rick," she said, turning to look at him as she finished the last strand. "What is it about blow drying my hair that deserves observation? It has to be one of the most mundane activities to watch."

He shook his head. "It's fascinating."

She snorted and turned back to the mirror to decide what to do with it, trying a few options out against the top of her dress.

"Leave it down," he murmured, coming to stand behind her, now wearing the open dress shirt.

"Down?"

He nodded and ran a hand through her locks as she leaned into his side. "I like being able to play with it."

She smiled. "Good to know."

"So, food?"

"Yeah."

They made their way down to the kitchen and Kate stared at the basket of muffins that now sat in the middle of the island, surrounded by a number of other pastries and fruit.

"How?"

"Paul delivers if you call."

"When did you call?"

"About two hours ago."

She narrowed her eyes. "How long were you actually watching me sleep?"

He shrugged. "It's hard to quantify time."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, because that makes the staring at me for at least thirty minutes less creepy."

He turned to look at her as he brought plates over. "You think it's creepy?"

She grabbed the juice from the fridge and found cups, considering her answer. "Not really. It's just…I'm not used to having someone watch me." She laughed at the incredulous look he shot her. "Okay, so I'm used to having you watch me, but that's professional. This is…I don't know, it's just different."

"You can't believe that no one else has ever woken up just to look at you."

Kate picked out a pumpkin muffin with some delight and then met his eyes. "Oh?"

"Kate, seriously. You're _gorgeous_."

She blushed. "Thank you. Doesn't mean anyone would need to stare at me while I sleep."

"Well, you can live in denial if you need to, but I'm right."

"I'm not getting into this with you," she said, taking a bite and smiling. "These are great, by the way."

"Thought you might like the pumpkin ones," he grinned.

"How did he find them? They're not in season."

"There's a great bakery in town, and they make the best all year round. I noticed you were particularly fond of pumpkin treats in the fall."

Kate just smiled. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

They ate in a contented silence for a while, just looking around. Kate was mesmerized by the sight of the ocean. It had been a long time since she'd seen it, and she found that she loved the sight just as much as she had as a girl. So, when they finished eating and rinsed the plates, she grabbed Rick's hand and pulled him out onto the porch and down the steps, smiling as her bare feet met the sand.

"Can we walk?"

He smiled and raised their hands to press a kiss into the back of her palm. "Definitely."

They ambled along, ending up right along the breakers as they strode up the beach toward the eventual curve of the shoreline about a mile ahead.

"Did you go to the beach a lot as a kid?" she asked when he stooped to pick up a shell, inspecting it before pocketing it.

He smiled. "Only a few times. Mother traveled a lot, and never to many places on the water. But I loved the few times we went."

"Is that why, of all of the out-of-city locations, you chose here?"

He nodded. "I wanted Alexis to get a taste of the world, and the beach sounded much nicer than the woods. I'm not big on bugs."

"Shock," Kate laughed.

"And you? Did your folks whisk you to the beach every summer?"

Kate nodded, leaning into him against the breeze. "My grandparents had a house on the Jersey shore, and we spent about a month of each summer there until I hit college. After that, I didn't go much, except for a trip to the Black Sea in college."

"So, good memories?" he asked softly.

She squeezed his hand. "Yeah. Some of the best." She looked out at the ocean as they came to a halt, her mind running backward to a time when she'd loved nothing more than going to the beach with her parents.

She and her dad used to build sand castles while Johanna read under the umbrella, until her dad got impatient and would lift her up, bridal style, run all the way to the water, laughing as her mom kicked and screamed, and then run into the waves and toss her in while Kate laughed on the shore. They'd done that the last time they'd been, even though both she and her mother were too old, and her father threw his back out with the effort.

She felt Rick slip around behind her to hold her against his chest, his cheek flush with hers as they stared at the waves.

"I can see you, splashing around with your mom and dad."

Kate smiled and let her fingers trail up and down the arms he had wrapped around her stomach. "I think you would have loved coming with us."

"Oh?"

"Dad used to throw Mom in."

"I do that to Alexis," he murmured.

Kate smiled. "Yeah. You and my dad have that in common." She felt him lift her a bit and slapped his arm. "If you even think about it, Richard Castle, there will be serious consequences that will extend far beyond this trip."

He laughed. "Too cold now. Come summer though, you're fair game."

She elbowed him softly and leaned her head against his. "I wish she could have been here."

"I know you do."

"This house would have blown her away. And the view? She loved the ocean."

"I'm sorry she can't see it."

"Me too."

They stood there for a long while, just watching the sea rise and fall, both caught up in memories and visions of the future. Kate watched as her younger self splashed around with her mother, and then again as the vision of a little girl, with his eyes and her hair shrieked and giggled while Rick lifted her above his head and tossed her into the waves, diving after her. Kate smiled when she herself strode into the picture, swimming after her daughter and helping her tackle Rick, splashing him until he cried 'apples.' Together they swung their daughter into the surf over and over, her pleas of 'one more time' growing quiet as she finally tired. Then he'd carry her up the beach and into the house while Kate packed up their blankets and baskets and buckets, following the sounds of a story, ridiculous and sweet, up the steps and into the house.

"You're thinking pretty loudly," he whispered, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Sorry," she sighed.

"No, no," she heard the chuckle in his voice. "I just got tired of not asking very loudly."

"Just…imagining."

His arms pressed her into his chest. "Imagining what?"

"Summer," she offered.

"This summer?" he said against her neck. "Or a summer some five years from now?"

She blinked. "I'm…I plead the fifth."

He grinned into her skin. "Fine. We can play it that way."

She closed her eyes and raised a hand to his cheek while he kissed over her neck and jaw. The little girl smiled in her mind's eye and she felt herself relax into him. Five years wasn't so long from now.

…...

"Sorry," he said quietly, coming out onto the balcony behind her. "Apparently Paula forgot that we're three hours ahead here."

Kate smiled at him as he approached, reaching a hand out to take his when he reached her. "What's she doing in California anyway?"

"Supervising the final edits of the script for _Heat Wave_ and working with the casting directors."

"Is that normal?"

"No. But, Black Pawn has a way of getting around normal protocol."

"Did you teach them, or did they teach you?" she asked, smiling as he let go of her hand to wrap his arms around her, a position they'd seemed to have chosen as their default. Not that she minded; leaning against him was obscenely comfortable.

"Professionally, I've learned a lot from Paula. Personally, I've always been this charming."

Kate laughed openly. "You mean invasive?"

She could feel him pouting. "I'm sticking with charming. I charmed you, didn't I?"

"Hardly," she laughed. "I couldn't stand you in the beginning."

"Oh, that's not true," he scoffed.

"And what are you basing that on?"

"You aren't so good at hiding your smiles," he replied. "And come on, who couldn't enjoy our banter? It's fantastic."

She smiled despite herself. "Okay, so you weren't all bad. But I didn't find you charming for quite a while."

"Lies."

"Just keep telling yourself that," she said, patting his arms.

"And you keep sailing on that river, Cleopatra."

"The River D'Nile? Good try."

He laughed. "Nothing gets past you, Detective."

She just shook her head and stared out at the ocean and stars. "It's gorgeous."

"The stars look amazing tonight, I'll give them that," he said quietly.

"I've never seen the sky this clear before, or so full of stars," she admitted. "Now I understand why you suggested we come here to watch them."

"I like what we did instead too," he told her. "Yeah, the stars here are magnificent, but that wasn't the point, you know?"

"I do," she whispered. "Thank you for taking me out there. It was…it was just what I needed."

His arms tightened around her. "You and me both."

"You haven't had a nightmare in a while, at least not one that's woken you," she said a few minutes later.

"You either."

"I know," she smiled. "We're lucky for that."

"We're lucky that we're having this conversation," he murmured.

"Yeah," she breathed, images of the ticking timer and harsh light of the freezer flitting through her head. "We really are."

"Is it sick that I'm kind of grateful that it happened?" Kate pressed her head to his in question. "Just…do you think we'd be here if it hadn't? Standing here together?"

She turned her head toward his and pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Eventually, yeah, I think we would have. But it would have been messier, and I'm glad that we didn't have to wait anymore."

"Have I told you how glad I am that you're here right now recently?"

Kate grinned. "About an hour ago. But I'm always happy to hear it again."

"I'm so glad you're here," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her gently.

"Me too."

A clock chimed in the bedroom, the faint sound greeting them through the open doors. "Midnight," she said.

"Hmm." He kissed her again, and let his hands trail up and down her stomach and sides while hers tangled in his hair and one of his hands. They stayed that way for several minutes, drinking each other in, mouths moving in a delicate rhythm, teasing, tasting, enjoying.

He pulled back and met her eyes, smiling as they both caught their breath. "You know what I love about you?" She felt her heart flutter and saw his eyes light up at the expression on her face. "You kiss perfectly," he continued. "And you're passionate, not just about life, but about death, and about everything. There's nothing you do halfway, and it just kills me all the time, how amazing you are. But what an exquisite death."

She laughed and pressed her lips to his for a moment before pulling away. "You know what I love about you?" The smile on his face could light up a banquet hall. "You're funny. You make me laugh in bed, something that means more to me than I can say. And it's fun. Life is _fun_ with you Rick. And I need fun. I need loud. I need excitement."

He beamed at her for a second before she felt his fingers digging into her sides and she shrieked, struggling against him as he tickled her. "Apples!" she screeched.

"That's my safe word," he laughed, trapping her against the railing as his hands assaulted her stomach.

"Please. Oh, God, Rick, stop!" she struggled, laughing and panting.

"Safe word," he replied, redoubling his efforts.

"Coffee!" she yelled.

He stopped immediately. "Coffee?"

She breathed heavily, leaning against his chest. "Was the…the first thing…I could think of," she managed.

"Suits us, I think," he said after a minute of contemplative silence. "I _love_ coffee."

"Me too," she replied, laughing.

"Enough excitement?" he asked, pressing his nose to her cheek.

"Yeah, let's not do that again," she replied.

"But you're so cute when you're shrieking."

"If you want any more screaming on this trip, you'll refrain from tickling me."

"Okay, no more tickling," he replied instantly, his lips coming to rest on her neck, his hot breath and warm mouth trailing over her skin.

Now she was breathless for an entirely different reason and she sighed happily as he turned her in his arms to look into her eyes, his hands coming to cup her cheeks. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," she replied.

"You know, time's funny."

"I thought you couldn't quantify time."

"Time spent watching you sleep? No. Time spent waiting to look into your eyes and tell you just how much I love you? That—that I can quantify. Too long. Too hard. Too tempting. Too wonderfully agonizing. Because God, I love you. I love you so much, Kate."

Kate felt the little breath she'd reclaimed whoosh from her lungs as they stared at each other. His eyes were so blue, even in the dim light pouring out of the bedroom. And his hands were warm on her cheeks, his body firm against hers. She'd never felt that much emotion in just a look. But she felt it, strong and warm and full.

"I love you, Rick. I love you just as much. More, even."

"Not possible," he replied immediately. "I love you more than I've ever thought possible."

"Well, think again. I love you more than _I_ ever thought possible."

"I love you more."

"You don't."

"I do."

"I win."

"You do not."

"Rick."

"Kate."

They smiled at each other and he pulled her closer to press his lips to hers in an exquisitely soft kiss that spoke of love and warmth and desire and _home_.

"So much," she whispered as they broke apart, their foreheads pressed together. She raised a hand to hold it against his heart. "I love you and the way you make everything feel right. And we fight, and quibble, and drive each other crazy…"

"Me more than you…"

She giggled. "You more than me. But Rick, I just, you're…I'm not good with words," she said quietly. "But you…you're everything I didn't know I wanted and you've become everything I need and I…I just, I love you so much that it's scary. But…"

"But worth it?"

She nodded. "So very worth it."

"I love you, Katherine Beckett. I have for a while. But then we did this amazing thing and took this chance, and I didn't think it was possible to want and need and love you more, but I do. Everyday. And I'll never stop loving you, or wanting you, or needing you."

She felt a tear slide down her cheek and smiled as he wiped it away, pressing a kiss to the trail it left behind. "Me too," she whispered.

And then she pulled him all the way to her, wrapping her arms around his neck while he let his slide around her waist. He was so talented at hugging, it was ridiculous, and she felt ridiculous for thinking it. But he was. And now he was wrapped around her, holding her so close that it felt like they were one person. And she couldn't remember ever having felt like this. Her other relationships paled in the bright light that was his, and hers, and theirs together.

He was everything and it scared her, and warmed her, and broke open the part of her that had held on to her independence, her safe loneliness, for so long. She wanted to need him. She wanted to depend on him. She wanted to have him there for her, and to be there for him.

"I was imagining us in the waves," she said against his ear. She felt his arms tighten around her. "You were chasing this little girl. God, she's adorable, Rick. And she was laughing and screaming as you tossed her into the waves. And then I showed up and we teamed up on you."

"I bet you did," he replied, his voice strangely tight.

"And then we tossed her into the water over and over. And she couldn't get enough, and kept saying "More! More! Mommy, make Daddy throw me _higher_!" And we did, for hours and hours." She smiled. "But she got tired and you carried her into the house, telling her the story of the Princess who thought she was too good for the Prince, but secretly loved him anyway. And I wanted to whack you and kiss you for it. But it was," she took a deep breath. "It was such a perfect picture."

She realized that he was shaking, or she was. And there were more tears on her cheeks.

"Say the word and it's yours, Kate," he whispered hoarsely. "Anytime. Now, in a year, in a week, in a day? God, I want that. More than anything."

She nodded into his neck. "Yes. Someday, yes, so much, Rick."

They stood there, wrapped up in each other, breathing and feeling and thinking. Kate watched their life play before her eyes. Kids and weddings and honeymoons, dates and movies, work and play swirled through her mind and she sighed happily.

Many minutes later, he squeezed her closer and she felt him take a deep breath. "Move in with me."

* * *

**Author's Note II: So, my friends, the month has ended. I hope that scene lived up to your expectations. Let me know what you thought, I'm extremely curious.**

**Also, this story could extend on forever, or it could end. I think this would be an interesting ending, but I'm very open to writing more, and have ideas. Let me know what you think, because your opinions matter, and we've all read fics that should have ended long before they did. **

**I love all of you very much, and thank you for your immense support and encouragement for this, and all my other stories. You're an amazing group of people.**

**Emma**


	22. Chapter 22

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: Here's hoping that someday I have characters that make other people want to write about them. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: I have so much to say, but I'll say it after this. I present to you the second to last chapter of **_**What Pales in Comparison.**_

* * *

**Chapter 22: Epilogue, Part I.**

"Rick?"

"Move in with me. Live with me and Alexis and my mother."

Kate pulled back so that they could look at each other. "Really?"

"Move in with us," he repeated, squeezing her as they stared into each other's eyes. "Live with me and go to work with me and come home with me and eat dinner and sleep and wake up and do it all again. You're practically living with us now as it is."

"Rick, I…"

"I love you," he said softly. "And you're it. So please, come live with me. Don't make us wait, Kate. I can't do another month."

So this was it. This was their forever. He was her one. And it was happening _now_. She could wait. She could say she needed more time and had to think and reason and plan. She could say that it was too fast. She could argue for sense and reason. But did she want to?

She didn't. "Okay," she whispered.

"Okay?" he breathed, eyes wide. "Okay?"

"Yes, Rick."

His face split in a grin and he lifted her off the ground. She squeaked and then he was spinning them around. "You're moving in with me," he shouted, slowing them until he could place her back on the ground. "You're moving in with me," he said happily, leaning in to kiss her.

She smiled into the kiss and then sighed with pleasure as it deepened and he pressed her to him. She held him tightly to her and gently bit his lower lip, causing him to groan.

"How…" he panted as they broke apart. "How 'bout we take this into our bedroom."

She blinked. "We're in the Hamptons."

"Moving in with me in New York means living with me here too. What's mine is yours," he replied easily.

"Oh." Kate felt herself blush. This house? Hell, his whole life would be something they shared. She felt winded. "Rick, I don't have anything to give back," she said quietly. "You…this…I have a nice place, but, I mean…"

He shook his head. "I don't want things, I just want you, Kate. We can figure out money and rent and all those things we'll probably fight about another day, but now?" he took her hands and led her through the double doors and back into the bedroom. "Now, I want to make love to you in our bed." He tugged her to his chest and brought his lips to her neck.

She felt dizzy and dazed. She was going to live with Richard Castle. She was going to share his life and his kid and his _mother_. She was going to marry him. She gasped as he laved her ear with his tongue, the sound as much for the sensation as the thought. She was going to marry Richard Castle.

* * *

"Ryan, that's not where that goes."

"Dude, keep track of your own boxes and leave me alone."

"Seriously. She's gonna kill you."

"Why am I killing Ryan?" Kate asked as she made her way back from the master bedroom and found Esposito and Ryan staring each other down in the living room.

"He's trying to leave a box of, um, more delicate stuff in the middle of the living room, where your step-kid could find it," Esposito explained.

Kate blinked. "Um, yeah, Ryan, just take that back to the bedroom, would you? And, you know, don't open it."

He nodded and disappeared into the office. Kate looked at Esposito. "What?"

"You look happy."

"I am happy," she shrugged. "I'll be happier when we're done moving all of this. When did I accumulate all this crap?"

"We all have crap," he laughed. "But really, Kate, you look happy."

She turned and met his eyes. "Thank you, Javier."

"But, I mean, know that I'll kick his ass if he ever hurts you."

She smiled. "Thank you for that, too."

"Though, I think there's a line. Probably starts with the kid you don't want to scar with that box that's already damaged my brain."

"Alexis would probably be up there, yeah. And, by the way, she's not my step-kid."

"Yet," Lanie offered as she muscled through door, carrying a large hanging bag of clothes. "Girl, I didn't know you owned this much. Why didn't you let Writer Boy hire movers?"

"Because I have awesome friends like you to help me out," Kate beamed, extending a hand to take the clothes from her. She made her way through the sea of boxes toward the bedroom and passed Ryan as he came back out.

"The box tower in there was about to fall. I rearranged it," he told her.

"Thanks, Ryan. Oh, and by the way," she turned to face the rest of the room. "If you're taking bets on when the kid becomes a step-kid, I expect to see some of the earnings." With that, she sauntered into the office and through to the bedroom, hearing grumbling behind her.

* * *

"The last box has been unpacked," Kate announced, plopping down on the couch next to Alexis, who was curled up with a textbook.

"Really?" the girl looked up excitedly. "That's awesome! You officially live here now, even though, I mean, you've kind of been living here for a while, and I'm not quite sure why it took you two so long." Kate whacked her leg and laughed as Alexis lifted her feet and dropped them in Kate's lap. "I'm really happy you're here though."

Kate smiled and squeezed one of her feet. "Me too, Lex."

"You make my Dad really happy."

"He makes me really happy too," Kate replied. Alexis beamed. "What are you reading?"

"Physics," the girl sighed. "Not fun."

"I thought you loved science, or was it another redheaded teenager who practically forced Lanie to give her a tour of the morgue last week?"

Alexis laughed. "I do love science. I just hate the textbooks."

"That's fair," Kate replied. "Do you want to take a break and watch a movie or something? It _is_ a Friday night. Speaking of which, where's Ashley?"

Alexis sighed. "His parents dragged him to Boston to visit relatives."

"Doesn't sound like fun."

Alexis nodded and then glanced at her phone as it vibrated in her lap. "Doesn't seem like he's having much fun. He just sent me an 'S.O.S' with a frowny face."

"Poor kid."

"Yeah. It's times like this that I'm kind of happy that my mother lives all the way in California, and her parents don't really care that I exist. Gram's about all I can take when it comes to extended family."

"Your Grandmother's a riot," Kate replied. "But I know what you mean. It's easier to have fewer relatives."

"Do you have many, outside of your Dad?"

Kate shook her head. "Both of my parent's parents have passed away, and the one Aunt I have hasn't called in years."

"That's too bad."

Kate looked over at the girl and smiled. "Not really. I have my Dad, and you've been kind enough to share your Grandmother with me. I'm happy with the family I've got."

Alexis smiled shyly. "We're happy to have you in our family, you know?"

Kate nodded, her chest tight and eyes suspiciously moist. "I'm happy to be part of it and call you mine too, Alexis."

"Good," she smiled.

They were quiet for a long moment. "Do you want to watch TV?" Kate asked.

Alexis nodded and shoved her book onto the coffee table, slipping her feet from Kate's lap so that she could sit up against the back of the couch with her. "What are we watching?"

Kate scrolled through the channels and then noticed the flashing light on the DVR. She opened the menu, curious, and found herself staring at a long list of _Temptation Lane_ episodes. She turned to Alexis. "Have you ever seen _Temptation Lane_?"

Alexis shook her head. "Is that the soap opera that you had a case about, and you have a framed cast photo for in the office?"

Kate nodded. "The very same."

"Let's do it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she smiled. Then Kate felt a warm weight settle on her shoulder as Alexis curled up next to her. She wrapped an arm around the teen and pressed play, feeling her heart swell.

They watched happily, going through a number of episodes, exchanging idle commentary and just enjoying a quiet night together. Eventually, Alexis passed out on Kate's shoulder, exhausted from what Kate knew to be a long night, studying for a History test the day before. She smiled and shifted the teen until she rested on a pillow in her lap. Comfortable and unwilling to wake her, Kate continued watching, scrolling back to an early episode so that she wouldn't be further ahead than Alexis.

A while later, Rick entered the loft, sighing as he threw his jacket onto a hook and shuffled into the kitchen. Kate watched as he noticed them on the couch. His eyes softened and his tired face split into a smile. He came into the living room and leaned over the couch to meet her in a very gentle kiss.

When they broke apart he looked down at his daughter. "She pass out on you?"

"She was up until about three last night, I think," Kate replied. "And little miss work-a-holic was studying when I found her tonight."

"She's something else," he whispered.

Kate laughed quietly, carding a hand through her long red hair. "She is. She's great, Rick."

"Yeah," he smiled.

"How was the meeting?"

"Long," he replied tiredly. "I would have rather been here, helping you unpack."

"I finished," she beamed.

"Without me?"

"I may have left one thing in the last box, but, you know, you'll have to find out about that later," she told him, dropping her voice as she pictured the little scrap of a swim suit she'd left in a tiny bag on the bed.

He groaned. "If I weren't so tired and you didn't have my adorable kid in your lap, I'd drag you into the bedroom right now."

Kate laughed quietly. "We can save it for tomorrow."

"I love you," he murmured, leaning in again to meet her lips quickly. "I'm gonna go change, and then can I join you?"

She nodded and watched as he trotted away. Alexis shifted in her lap and one of her hands came up to wrap into Kate's shirt.

* * *

"That's too much pepper."

"It's not."

"Rick, you're going to ruin it."

"Kate, relax."

"No, Rick, seriously, hand it over."

"I'm not surrendering the pepper to you. I can cook. I do it all the time. You _love_ my cooking," he told her, stepping back from the stove to shuffle away from her as she advanced on him.

"Hand it over."

"Kate, really, you're being unreasonable."

"It looked like too much pepper to me," Alexis added as she came back from setting the table.

"See, your daughter agrees with me."

"That doesn't make you right. She's known to be wrong on a rare occasion."

"Richard, honestly. You're making the poor woman insane. Hand the pepper over and go make the salad," Martha said as she breezed into the kitchen. "I can hear you two arguing from my room."

Rick looked among the three women and grudgingly handed the pepper to Kate before sulking over to the fridge to get the ingredients for salad. Martha winked at Kate and then settled herself onto one of the bar stools. Kate shot her a smile and then turned back to tend to the chicken and vegetables on the stove, placing the pepper firmly on the counter.

Alexis joined her Grandmother at the counter and Rick set about making the salad. Kate listened as they chatted. She couldn't seem to keep herself calm. She pushed the food around the pan anxiously, which was ridiculous. It wasn't as though it was going to go poorly.

"Relax," Rick whispered into her ear. She startled as his arms slipped around her waist, but then she melted back against him. "I promise to stay away from the pepper. Everything's going to be fine."

"I know," she murmured, glancing over his shoulder to see that Martha and Alexis had made their way into the living room. "I know."

"It's just your Dad."

"I know."

"Say that again, and I'll make out with you while he's here."

"Rick!" she exclaimed.

"Kidding," he laughed, his thumbs running circles over her stomach. "But really. It's gonna be great. He's going to love Alexis, be baffled by my mother…"

"And you?"

"As long as he doesn't shoot me, I'll be a happy man."

She laughed. "He'll like you," she told him quietly. "He already does, actually."

"Oh?"

"Told me that 'anyone who makes you sound that happy Katie, is someone I approve of, and I haven't even _seen_ you talk about him in ages.' So, I mean, as long as you're charming, you probably won't spoil it." He was silent behind her for a moment. "Rick?"

"You sound happy when you talk about me?" She blushed and gave a short nod before focusing on the chicken. He placed a kiss against her neck. "I'm glad. You make me happy too."

The doorbell rang. Kate took a deep breath but Rick was already gone and strolling through the room. She watched as he opened the door and met her father's smiling face.

"Mr. Beckett, please, come in," Rick said jovially.

"Thank you," Jim said kindly. "And, please, call me Jim."

"Only if you'll call me Rick," he replied, extending a hand. "I'm very pleased to meet you."

"The sentiment's mutual," Jim smiled. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Should I be afraid of that statement?" Rick asked as her father took off his coat.

"No. Recently, it's all been good. Though, some of the early stories were a bit concerning."

Rick led him through and into the living room while Kate took the chicken off the stove and plated it. She heard a chorus of greetings as she worked, listening as Alexis and Martha introduced themselves, welcoming her father warmly into their home.

"Dinner's ready," she announced as she brought the platter over to the table in one hand, rice in the other. She set everything down and then turned to greet her father. "Hi, Dad."

"Hi Katiebug," he grinned, pulling her into a hug. "Thank you for inviting me over."

She smiled. "I hope the dinner deserves that smile."

He just laughed. "Katie, for this family, I'd eat canned beans."

Kate just stared as he moved around the table to settle in next to Alexis. Rick came up behind her and placed a hand on her waist as he reached around her to grab a spoon. "You were right. Alexis wins."

She smiled and turned her head to kiss his cheek before taking his hand and leading him to the table. They sat and she watched as her families became one. Jim was, expectedly, completely taken with Alexis, who was holding court, telling them all about the injustices and hilarities of high school. Jim kept up, adding a string of very embarrassing stories from Kate's youth that had her turning red and Rick grinning like the cat who ate the canary.

When the meal was over, they all trooped into the living room to chat while Rick made milkshakes. Alexis settled next to Kate on the couch and Kate leaned in to look at various photos of prom gowns they'd been discussing the previous night. She noticed her father get up a few minutes later, excusing himself from the quiet conversation he'd been having with Martha. He went into the kitchen, and it was a long time before he came back, and longer before Rick entered with the milkshakes.

But, as they all got caught up in a game of Scatergories, Kate found that it slipped her mind. It was a perfect dinner, and a perfect night, and a perfect introduction of her Father into the crazy life that they lived at the Castle-Beckett Castle, as Rick was fond of calling it these days.

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied quietly, sagging against the doorway into his office.

"Kate," he breathed, standing up and coming around the desk. "What happened?"

She looked up and met his eyes. "We got him."

His hands came to rest on her arms, rubbing soft circles. "That's wonderful." She nodded absently. "What's wrong?"

"We didn't get him in time."

"Oh, Kate."

She fell forward and buried her head into his neck, trying to erase the image of that little body lying mangled in the warehouse, and the wild eyes of the psychopath who killed her. No remorse. No guilt. Nothing but that crazed expression as he stood over the body, bloody knife held loosely in his hand. If they'd been just a minute earlier…

"Kate," his soft voice broke her out of her thoughts. "Do you want to take a bath? Tell me how I can help."

"Just hold me," she whispered, feeling broken in a way she hadn't in a long time.

Rick nodded against her head and guided them back and through to the bedroom. With gentle fingers, he stripped her of her clothes, grimy from their sprint through the alley to the warehouse. She'd need a new blazer; she ripped this one vaulting the damned fence.

Then he was guiding her onto the mattress, lowering her gently into the pillows and covering her with the comforter. "I'll be right back," he whispered, placing a kiss to her temple.

She waited, just laying there, numb. Men, women, teenagers—all deaths were tragic. But that little girl, innocent of everything, was possibly the worst thing she'd ever laid eyes on. She blinked and Rick was back, placing a glass of water on her bedside table, along with two aspirin, just in case she needed them. Then he was sliding into bed behind her, pulling her to him, his arm heavy and warm over her stomach.

He'd been home all week, writing. Like every summer, he needed time to write, and they'd decided that it was best for him to take the few weeks when Alexis was home and spend time with her before she went off to her second program and to visit her mother. They'd managed without each other during the day, for the most part. The past week had been hard. But Kate hadn't wanted him on the case. A serial killer who targeted little girls? Rick was morbid and helpful and insightful and fun, but there were some things he didn't need to know—some research he could do without.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," he whispered, tangling his legs with hers. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not," Kate replied, laying her hand over his. "I'm glad that you don't have the pictures in your head. I'm glad that you can look at Alexis tomorrow and smile."

He kissed her cheek and then her neck and she reached back to lay her hand over his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her palm and then hugged her to him. "I love you," he told her.

"I love you too," she whispered, her voice tight as she fought to maintain control, to stay above water.

"It's okay, Kate. You can cry, honey. I'm right here."

Cracks split the dam and tears poured from her eyes. The tears turned to sobs and she curled up, her chest heaving as she felt everything break. He held onto her, tethering her to the world as everything collapsed. The pain and frustration, hatred and anger, sadness and horror rippled through her, but he was there with her, holding her down, keeping her safe, keeping her together as she fell apart.

"It's okay. It's over," he told her, rocking them slightly as her sobs began to ebb. "He's gone."

"But so is she," she replied. "And her parents will never see her and all they'll have is this tortured little body to put into a little casket and I…"

He turned her so that they were face to face and pressed his lips to her forehead before pulling back to meet her puffy, watery eyes. "I know," he murmured.

"I just want to bring her back, Rick."

"I know you do."

She felt tears still streaming down her face as she buried her head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kept up a steady stream of kisses and assurances at her temple.

"One minute. One minute sooner and we would have saved her," Kate whispered.

"It's not your fault," he promised.

"But it is. It _is_."

"No, Kate," he pulled her back. "It's his fault. You put him away. You saved who knows how many other little girls. It doesn't make her life less tragic, but it's not your fault. He killed her, you didn't. And you did the best damn job you could possibly do, which is ten times better than what anyone else could have done."

"But…"

"Playing the 'what if' game is just going to drive you mad," he told her. "It wasn't your fault. You have to believe that."

She nodded shakily, feeling a little bit of equilibrium come back. She hadn't had anyone to come home to for these things in a long, long time, and never someone who was always there. His hands were so soft on her skin and she leaned up to press a kiss to his lips, full of nothing but gratitude and love. He kissed her back, splaying a hand over her lower back and pulling her closer. She wanted to feel alive, to forget.

She gasped against his lips as his hand strayed up to unclasp her bra. He shifted so that he lay atop her, tossing the scrap of fabric to a corner somewhere far away. "Just look at me, Kate," he whispered, bringing her eyes to his. "Focus on me and how much I love you and how we feel together." His hand ran over her chest and she moaned, leaning up to claim his mouth for hers as his fingers teased her.

"Let me love you and let everything else fall away," he murmured as his hand snaked lower.

She met his eyes and let herself do just that, forget and allow only feeling and sensation and the heavy weight of him moving on top of her, within her, around her to fill her mind.

Later, when they lay together, breathing heavily, her head pillowed on his strong chest, feeling his steady heartbeat beneath her ear, she smiled for the first time all night.

"I love you," she whispered.

"More than my own life," he replied.

* * *

"Is it bad that I don't want to go back?"

Kate turned and looked over at Alexis, who was lounging in the beach chair to her left, her hair up in a messy bun and book open on her lap. "Not at all, Lex."

"I mean, I know it's Senior Year and everything, but I…Ashley won't be there."

"I'm sorry that he's gone."

Alexis met her gaze. "It's good. I mean, I can always join him in the spring, if I want to."

"Do you still want to?"

She shrugged. "I liked the Stanford program."

"I know you did."

"And, it was really cool."

"Right."

"But…"

"Lex, you don't _have_ to graduate early."

She looked out at the water. "But if I don't…what if Ashley doesn't want to wait anymore?"

Kate reached over and placed her hand on the girl's arm. "Alexis, if Ashley isn't willing to wait for you, then he's not worth your time, and he's an idiot. If you want to have your Senior Year, you should get to. He had his."

"I know, but I miss him," she whispered.

"I know, Sweetie. I'm sorry."

"Thanks, Kate," Alexis said, turning to look at her. "This was just what I needed, you know?"

Kate smiled. "I do. I'm happy to be here."

"I just…you didn't need to come out. Dad's not even here until tonight, but I really…I just really appreciate it."

"Alexis," Kate turned so that she was sitting facing the teen. "I love you."

Alexis smiled. "I love you too."

"No, silly, you don't get it. I love you, and you're part of my family, your Dad or not, okay? I didn't _have_ to come, but I wanted to. You're important to me."

"Thank you," Alexis said quietly.

"You don't have to thank me, Sweetie. I'm happy to be here."

Alexis smiled and put her book down so that she could scoot over and wrap Kate in a hug. Kate held her tight and ran a hand through her hair. "You're amazing, Alexis, and I'm very glad to have you in my life."

"Sentiment's mutual," Alexis sniffed.

They pulled apart, both a little worse for wear, and Kate chuckled. "Okay, I say this calls for ice cream and a movie marathon."

"We're at the beach," Alexis laughed.

"So? We've been in the sun for days. Let's go enjoy the air conditioning and eat your father out of food."

"But then we're eating you out of food," she countered even as they both stood and made their way back into the house.

Kate glanced at her. "But we'll make your Dad get groceries."

"Deal," Alexis laughed.

Kate threw an arm over the girl's shoulders and they went into the kitchen, laughing and chatting.

* * *

"You're amazing," he breathed as she collapsed on top of him and laid still, the gentle breeze from the open balcony passing over them.

"I'm glad you still think so," she murmured, her body sated and heavy.

"I'll always think so," he chuckled. "I don't think that can ever get old, Kate."

She lifted her head to meet his eyes and smiled. "I don't suppose it can."

"I'm glad to be back."

She nodded and pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss. "We missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Felt longer than it was," she admitted as she brushed their noses together and then shifted to cuddle into his side. "The loft is oddly quiet without you."

"If you think the loft, with my mother and daughter running around, was quiet, you should have seen some of those hotel rooms. Creepy silent, and cold."

"It's been a country-wide heat wave—yes, I know—Rick; I'm sure they were far from too cold."

"But the bed's were empty of you," he replied easily.

"Cheesy."

"Don't tell me you didn't miss having me to cuddle with."

She smiled into his shoulder. "I may have."

She felt him grin and pull her closer. "I had trouble sleeping," he said a few minutes later.

"Me too. I'm glad I wasn't working for most of it."

"Did you and Alexis have fun?"

"Yeah. She's been down since Ashley left, but we've had a good time here."

"Thank you for coming out with her."

Kate sighed. "You guys have to stop thanking me for spending time with her. I love her, Rick. She's great, and I enjoy my time with her."

He shifted so that he could see her face and he gave her the biggest smile. "You have no idea what that means to me," he told her. "I love you."

She smiled as he leaned down and kissed her, rubbing his thumb across her cheek. "I love you too," she murmured when they pulled apart.

They lay there, staring into each other's eyes for a few minutes. She was happy here, with him, lying in their big bed at the Hamptons house, Alexis sleeping a few rooms away. It felt like home. A big, expensive, beach home—but a home nonetheless. He took a deep breath and brought her out of her thoughts.

"Marry me."

She blinked. "Rick?"

"Marry me."

She felt the reply bubbling up without a second's notice. "Yes," she whispered.

"Yes?"

"Yes," she said, louder this time, struck by how elated she felt and how simple it all was.

He kissed her, excitedly, passionately, before ripping away to lean over the bed and rummage in his bag where it had fallen, a casualty to their entrance to the room. He sat up, pulling her with him, both bare-chested in the dim light of the room.

"I talked to your Dad a while back, not that you need me to get his blessing…but I did, so we have it, you know, for whatever." She smiled, charmed in an odd way by both the admission and the rambling. "So, you know, I've had this for a while, and I just felt…" He opened a little black box and held it up for her to see. "If you don't…"

"I love it," she whispered, staring at the simple ring, a single diamond set in the middle with two sapphires on either side—beautiful, yet unobtrusive, so she could wear it every day.

He beamed and took it from the box, taking her left hand in his. He slid the ring onto her finger and then lifted her hand to press it to his lips. "You're gonna marry me," he said.

"I'm going to marry you," she nodded.

He leaned over and cupped her cheeks, bringing their lips together in a searing kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Then there were no more words, just sighs and moans, bodies and breath, and the gentle breeze, drawing them together.

And when she woke the next morning, lying in Rick's arms, she held her hand out in front of her, watching as the diamond sparkled in the sunlight. She was going to marry Richard Castle.

* * *

**Author's note II: We have one more chapter to go of this story, and I can't tell you how much your support has meant. You guys have gotten me through so much, and I have to say, the response to the last chapter was absolutely staggering, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are beautiful, all of you.**

**I have two things:**

**1. Two of my stories have been nominated for the Castle Fan Awards at Castlefans . org / vote-now . "Because You're Tall," and "To My Mom," are nominated in the **_**General Story**_** and **_**Castle Family Story**_** categories. **

**If you're looking for great fics, go read everything that's been nominated. It's an amazing group of stories. **

**2. FOR LOVERS ONLY. If you haven't seen it, you NEED TO. It should be on Itunes soon. Honestly? This movie is amazing and life altering and…and so many things. See it. You'll be so happy you did. **

**So, thank you for reading my story and my long author's note. I'll see you all at the close. Let me know what you thought of this, since it's such a different structure from the rest of the story. I can't believe it's nearly over!**

**Emma**


	23. Chapter 23

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: Here's hoping that someday I have characters that make other people want to write about them. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: So, there's actually THREE parts to the epilogue. I tried, gang, I did! But, come on, this is over 9,000 words long as it is. And there's a good 4,000 left. So, you get ANOTHER chapter after this one. M rated material at the end.**

* * *

**Epilogue Part 2:**

"Alexis!"

"Hmpfh. Wha?" the teen replied inelegantly, turning her head away from the light that was now pouring into her room.

"Alexis, wake up, I have news!" Rick insisted, shaking her shoulder.

"Dad," she moaned, burying her head under her blankets. "It's _early_."

"But I have big things!"

"Richard Castle," Kate admonished, following the sounds to Alexis's room. "You can wait two more hours. Let her sleep."

"Thanks Kate. Love you," Alexis mumbled, curling into a ball.

"Love you too, Lex. You," she pointed at Rick. "Out, now."

"But Kate, I, we…" he protested, looking rather crestfallen. He glanced at her left hand, which was on her hip, and then back to his daughter, pleadingly. "She can go back to sleep."

"At this rate, I'll be lucky if I ever sleep again," Alexis mumbled rolling over and uncovering her face. "_What_, Dad?"

Rick glanced at Kate who came to stand at his side, where he was perched on the edge of Alexis' bed. She placed her hand on his shoulder and wiggled her fingers, catching the light from the window and watching as the diamond sent the glare onto Alexis' comforter.

Alexis blinked at them for a moment before her eyes widened and sleep fell away, replaced by the largest grin she'd ever seen on the girl. "You're…really?" she squeaked, launching herself at them. They all toppled backward on the bed and ended up a pile of messy limbs and awkward angles, laughing.

"Yes, Alexis," Rick grinned, once they'd managed to sort themselves out so that Alexis' head was pillowed on Kate's stomach, and Kate's head was on top of Rick's thigh as he sat, leaning against the wall. "Meet your soon-to-be-wicked-stepmother."

Two different hands whacked him. "Shut up, Castle."

"Jeez, Dad. She may be the least wicked one here."

"Oh, I doubt that," Kate laughed. "You get the glass slipper, missy. I'll settle for Fairy Godmother, if I have to settle for anything."

"What would that make me, Prince Charming?"

Kate and Alexis rolled their eyes. "Hardly, Rick. You're the pumpkin, obviously."

He shook his head. "Alexis has to be the pumpkin. She's got orange hair."

"Fine, then Kate is Cinderella," Alexis proclaimed. Everyone fell silent for a moment. "I didn't…"

Kate laughed and ran a hand through the girl's hair. "I think that's the most accurate description. Your father certainly chased me for a while."

"Wanna wear glass slippers at the wedding?" Rick asked.

"Where are we having the wedding?" Kate asked, looking up at him.

"You should have it here," Alexis piped up.

"Here?" Rick replied.

"Yeah! It'll be gorgeous in the fall, or spring. And it can be small. I can't really see you guys having a big wedding."

Kate nodded vigorously and Rick laughed. "But I thought I'd call Paula and make sure that we had everyone we've ever met there, you know? Have it at the Plaza with about seventy members of the press. Ow!" he stopped to pull his head away from Kate's hand. "How did you even get to my ear from down there?" he pouted.

She grinned up at him. "I have talents, Mr. Castle."

"That you do," he leered.

"Kid in the room!"

"Sorry, Lex," they chorused.

"Sheesh. I'm glad our walls are thick."

"Alexis!" Kate admonished.

"What, you can be inappropriate, but I can't?"

"Yes," Rick added.

Alexis laughed. "Seriously though, you should have it here."

"What do you think?" Rick asked, looking down at Kate and running a hand across her cheek.

"Sounds perfect to me," she smiled.

"You don't have another idea? Something you've been secretly holding out for?"

Kate turned her head to kiss his palm. "Unsurprisingly, I've never dreamed up the perfect wedding."

"Really?" Alexis asked.

"Never saw the point, you know? I figured I'd find the guy, then worry about the hell of the wedding."

Rick laughed. "We'll make this as not hellish as possible."

"Dad's got a great planner."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Is this the same planner that planned your previous weddings?"

He shook his head. "No. She plans my parties. I dumped the last wedding planner when my last marriage ended."

"It's not fair that you've done this before, you know," said Kate.

"But it's the first time it's forever," he said quietly.

Kate felt Alexis' head shift on her stomach. "Better be," the girl muttered.

Kate smiled. "I second that."

"Oh, have no doubts, you two. Sticking like glue this time."

* * *

"Jim! Wonderful to see you again!" Martha's effusive greeting floated back to the kitchen, where Kate and Rick were busy finishing brunch.

"Hello, Martha. You're looking well. And Alexis, you're so tan!"

"We had a good time in the Hamptons," Alexis replied, dragging him into the dining room. "We were sad that you couldn't make it though."

"Sorry, kid. I tried, but work, you know?"

"I do know what that's like," Rick replied as he wiped his hands and gave Kate's hip a bump. "Quite a few of our dates have gone to the wayside of work."

"Good to see you, Rick," Jim said as they exchanged a friendly hug.

"Likewise."

Kate wiped her hands and came around the counter to hug her father. "Hey, Dad."

"Hi, Katie. How are you? You look so healthy!"

"Doesn't she?" Rick agreed.

"Shut up, Castle," Kate grumbled. "Two weeks at the beach will give you a tan, Dad."

Jim stepped back to observe her. "True, but you look really good, Kate. Glowing, even, if I had to put a word to it."

Kate smiled and gave a little shrug, patting his arm with her left hand as she turned to pick up the salad bowl while Rick grabbed the platter of chicken.

"Hold up a sec, Katiebug," her father said, putting his hand on her elbow. "Did I just see something sparkle?"

Kate grinned and turned back to her father, handing the salad bowl to Alexis. "You might have," she said, extending her hand.

"You finally plucked up the courage, huh?" Jim asked, turning to Rick, who had come over to slide his arm around Kate's waist.

"Was just waiting for the right moment."

Kate leaned back into him. "How long ago did you guys talk about this?"

Jim cocked his head in thought. "A few months? Right after you moved in here, I think."

"Hmm," Kate hummed.

"So, do I get the full story of this proposal?" Jim asked as he squeezed her hand and then guided her to the table, Rick bringing up the rear.

They sat down and passed food around as Kate and Rick looked at each other, trying to figure out exactly what to tell her father. Alexis had just surmised that they'd been in their room, and staunchly refused to ask questions. Martha never asked, but sent Kate a secret smile the one time it had been discussed two nights earlier. How did you tell your father that your fiancé proposed in bed?

"It was very romantic," Kate said slowly.

"Stars," Rick added.

"Yeah," Kate shot him a smile as he took her hand.

"Sounds lovely," Jim said, grinning. "I have a feeling I don't want to know more."

"Yes, let's leave it at that, okay?" Alexis piped up from his left.

Kate and Rick blushed and Martha laughed. "We don't care, you two, as long as you're together and happy."

"That we are," Rick replied, threading their fingers together and playing with her ring.

Jim smiled. "Have you picked a date yet?"

Kate glanced at her fiancé—_her fiancé_, it still hadn't gotten old. "We're thinking about October, but that's awfully close."

"Do you already have a location?"

"The Hamptons house," Rick replied. "And it's just going to be us, the three of you, the gang at the 12th, and a few other people—nothing huge, so coordinating schedules on such short notice shouldn't be that tough. It's just…well, it _is_ really soon."

"Did you talk to the Captain yet?" Alexis asked. "You've taken a bunch of vacation time this year already."

Kate laughed. "He said, and I quote, 'if you don't take at least two weeks for your honeymoon, I will not allow you back into this Station. You have enough sick days for months of leave, Kate. Go. Enjoy this. And congratulations.' So, I don't think that will be an issue."

"And he'll be there, so he'll get himself a day off as a bonus," Rick added.

"I don't really see what the problem is with doing it in a bit over a month. You've certainly got enough people to push paperwork through, Richard, and Elise should be able to plan the few tables and get a band without issue."

Rick nodded. "I know. We just," he looked around. "I'm going to ask something now, and I want your honest opinion." The table nodded and Kate squeezed his hand. "It doesn't _feel_ fast, but in terms of time, it actually is."

"That's ridiculous," Jim said immediately.

"Dad?"

"Katie, your mother and I met, moved in, got engaged, and got married in about six months. The two of you are going on four years. Honestly, you pick this to get confused over?"

They all stared at him. "Guess that's settled then," Kate laughed, glancing at Rick. "October 15th, then?"

"The ides of October?" Alexis asked.

"It's a Saturday, and there's no major holidays around, so we shouldn't conflict with anything," Kate replied.

"Send those invitations out tomorrow," Martha said, raising her glass. "And you, my dear, will have to clear your schedule for this weekend."

"Why?"

"Well, we have to get you a dress."

* * *

"I look like a puffed up marshmallow," Kate said as she stepped out of the changing room.

"Yeah, no," said Lanie.

"Second," Alexis said, raising her glass of sparkling grape juice.

"Who picked that out?" Martha asked as she returned from one of the racks empty handed.

"I don't know," Kate sighed, slumping against the side of the mirror. "We've been through about thirty of these, and none of them are right." She turned to look at herself. "I just…I didn't think we'd get to the sixth shop without finding something."

Martha came over and held up the large, poufy skirt before dropping it and laying her hand on Kate's shoulder. "We'll find something, dear. Don't despair."

"Sorry," Kate murmured. "I just…I'm having fun, I promise. But I just…I didn't expect this to take so long, and the longer it takes I…"

"I know you miss your mother, kiddo."

Kate nodded and brought a hand up to wipe away a wayward tear. "I'm not saying that doing this with you guys isn't…"

Martha leaned in and kissed her cheek, taking her hands. "Katherine. We all understand that this is both joyous and heartbreaking. We do. My mother passed before my first wedding, and I remember this feeling. But, know that yours is somewhere, watching you and grinning at how ridiculous you look."

Kate gave a watery laugh and squeezed her hands. "Right."

"God, Becks, where did you find that, the Stay-Puffed factory?" Madison exclaimed as she rounded the corner, holding a box.

"Thanks, Maddie. I can always count on you for an ego boost."

Madison grinned as Martha stepped back and took her seat next to Alexis in the little atrium. "You've gotten a request."

"A request?" Kate asked dubiously.

"I don't know. The owner told me that this was delivered for you, and you should try it on."

Kate took the box and looked around the room. "Okay, who did this?"

Everyone shrugged, though Alexis' was a little more pronounced than the others.

"No idea, Girl. But, if memory serves, the last box that looked like that had your red dress in it," Lanie said, taking a sip of champagne.

"Hmm," Kate took the box and disappeared into the changing room.

She unzipped the 'Stay-Puffed' dress and hung it back up, handing it to the attending, who whisked it away. She blinked. Despite five other high-end shops, she still wasn't quite used to the personal service. But Martha had insisted, and Kate had to admit that she was a bit titillated by the elegance of it all—though she'd never admit that to Rick.

She placed the box on the seat and removed the lid warily. Nestled on top of the crème colored tissue was an envelope. She picked it up and slid the card out.

_ Put it together and what have you got?_

She stared at it. Richard Castle. She shook her head and slipped the note into her purse before turning back to the box. He'd gotten her a dress? Wasn't that some sort of bad luck?

She gently pulled back the tissue and gasped as she lifted the dress from the box. It was gorgeous. Strapless and pure white, it fell to the floor with a gentle flare. The top was separated from the ruffled skirt by a deep lilac band, and the bodice was beaded and shimmering in the warm light from the lamps. She turned it over in her hands and laughed, seeing the crossed lilac and white ribbon back that would leave little to the imagination, and a plethora of skin for Rick to tease.

And then she didn't care that he'd picked it out—seen it before the wedding day. She unthreaded the ribbons and stepped in, pulling it slowly over her hips. It was so soft and felt luxurious against her skin, with no crinoline or rough underskirts to irritate her. The lilac band was snug and met her waist, giving her the perfect hourglass figure. The skirt flowed to the floor in tiers, with soft ruffles cascading down to her feet. She stepped out of the stall.

"Oh, Miss Beckett, it's gorgeous," Danny, her dresser, exclaimed.

"It is," Kate whispered. "Could you?" she asked, turning and holding up her hair so Danny could do up the laces.

"Where did you find it? I don't remember seeing it on the shelves," Danny asked as she tied her up.

"My fiancé ordered it and had it sent."

"Really?"

Kate nodded. "He's got an eye for these things, and, well…it's perfect, right?"

Danny nodded and looked over her shoulder as Kate stared at her reflection in the single mirror. "It's perfect." Kate smiled shyly. "Now go show your bridesmaids."

Kate nodded and turned, parting the curtain into the little atrium. The quiet chatter that filled the room stopped as everyone stared at her.

"Oh my God."

"Oh my."

"Kate!"

"It's gorgeous."

Kate blushed and turned around to stare at her reflection in the five-pronged mirror on the little stage. "It kind of is, isn't it?" she asked, twirling to face them.

"Did your Prince Charming send that to you?"

Kate laughed. "I think he's more of a Fairy Godmother, at the moment, but yeah. Thank you, Alexis, by the way."

Alexis blinked. "You're welcome. What did I do?"

Kate just smiled. "Don't think I didn't notice you texting your dad a while ago when I tried on the horrible ruffled one."

Alexis blushed. "He just, ah, asked me to text him if we hit the sixth shop."

"Why the sixth?" Maddie asked as she walked around Kate, taking her all in.

"Because it's one more woman than Kate brought," Alexis laughed. "He says, if you get past the number of bridesmaids, and you haven't found the dress, help is in order."

Kate just smiled and fingered the skirt. Maddie, Alexis, Martha, Lanie…her necklace bounced against her chest as she moved. And her mother. God, she loved that man.

"I think it's the one, right?" she asked.

Everyone nodded. "Tell your boy that I want his professional opinion when I get hitched," Lanie said by way of confirmation.

Kate laughed. "Consider it your wedding present from us."

Her eyes bulged. "I didn't mean…"

"Lanie, I don't even want to imagine how expensive this one is. It's not tagged."

"Will you be taking it, Miss Beckett?" the owner, Clarice, asked as she stepped into the room. "I believe it's the one."

"I will, thank you. Should I give you…"

"It's already been taken care of," she smiled and then left the room.

"See," Kate said, turning back to Lanie. "So consider that your present."

"You're okay with sharing money?" Maddie asked from her left. "I know you weren't so sure about it when this started."

Kate met Alexis and Martha's eyes. "Being part of this family is sharing everything. We're gonna use my paychecks for college funds."

Everyone became silent while Alexis and Martha grinned. "Excuse me?" Lanie asked.

"Rick and I sat down the other night and hashed this out," Kate explained. "It would be ridiculous to insist on paying for half of his rent, or the bills, or the clothes for functions; even two of my paychecks can't make his rent."

"So you just…gave in?" Lanie asked skeptically.

"We'll pool it, and use most of mine to put into savings," Kate shrugged.

It hadn't been nearly that clean at all. They'd fought and slammed doors and Martha had taken Alexis out to avoid them while they yelled at each other. Kate had insisted on contributing _something_ to the marriage, or what kind of equality was it? And Rick had argued that _she_ was enough, and money wasn't important.

_"I'm not marrying you to become a kept woman!" she shouted. They stood on opposite sides of his desk in the office. _

_ "I'm certainly not marrying you for a trophy wife," he countered. "But if you think that we're keeping separate accounts and we're gonna keep having this argument, then you're crazy."_

_ "So you just get to decide? How is that fair, Richard? You get to proclaim ownership of me?"_

_ His eyes glinted and he rounded the desk, striding over to back her up against the door to their bedroom. "I don't want _ownership_ of you, Katherine. I want to share my life with you. I want to take you places, and I want you to be comfortable buying clothes to go out in, and I want you to feel like you can go out with Alexis without worrying about a monthly allowance you've set up out of your paychecks. Hell, Kate, I'm a millionaire. That makes _you_ a millionaire."_

_ "No. It makes you a millionaire," she replied angrily. "I'm a cop, Rick."_

_ "You'll be my wife," he growled. "And I'll be your husband. And what's mine is yours."_

_ She glared. "And what do I do with my salary, huh? Just tuppence for the kitty?"_

_ "We could do something with your paycheck, Kate! We could set up savings accounts, college funds for our children. By the time they're grown, they'd have enough for school, and it wouldn't be from the books. But honestly, _you're_ the reason Nikki Heat exists. Half of that money is yours anyway."_

_ She stared at him. "You want to take my paychecks and set up college funds for our children, plural?" she asked, her voice suddenly soft._

_ He let out a breath and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. "Yes."_

_ She rested her head on his shoulder. "College funds?"_

_ "College funds, vacation allowances, savings accounts—we can give all of that to the kids, Kate. It's not about owning you, or taking care of you, or keeping you. It's about sharing my life with you. And I know you don't like it, but part of my life is an obscene amount of money."_

_ "I…I'm not going to get used to it quickly," she murmured into his neck. "I'll fight you on it sometimes."_

_ He laughed and squeezed her. "I know. But I look forward to the make-up sex, so it's okay."_

_ She whapped him on the chest and then pulled back to press her mouth to his. "Kids."_

_ "Kids," he nodded, tugging her closer, wrapping himself around her, consuming her. _

"Wait. College funds, plural?" Maddie asked. "Something you want to share with the class, Becks?"

Kate laughed and shook her head. "Not right now."

"But soon?" Alexis asked innocently.

Kate shot her a look. "I thought you didn't want to know?"

Alexis shook her head quickly and sat down, busying herself in her phone while everyone laughed. Martha came over and adjusted Kate's hair.

"I think you should wear your hair down," she said. "Beach wedding and all." Kate nodded as they turned to look at her reflection while Madison and Lanie moved around the store, now focused on bridesmaids dresses. "More grandchildren would be nice, you know."

Kate coughed and Martha grinned at her in the mirror. Yeah, being in this family was sharing _everything_.

* * *

"So, level with me," Kate said over the pounding music. "How much money did you win?"

Lanie sipped her drink and avoided Kate's eyes as she watched Madison dancing with one of her admirers. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, please. You had a lot of money riding on Rick and me. I know you did. And, I know you pegged the proposal date. So, how much did you win."

Lanie turned to look at her. "You're not mad?"

Martha and Alexis danced by, waving, and Kate laughed. "No, Lanie. I've lost some respect for you," she grinned as Lanie scowled, "but I'm not mad."

"Fine. Two grand."

Kate did a spit take. "Seriously?" she asked as she wiped at her mouth with the napkin Lanie handed to her, laughing.

"Seriously. Kate, come _on_. The whole precinct was in on it."

"Even the Captain?"

"I won a pretty penny off of Montgomery," Lanie grinned. "500."

"You're shitting me."

"Nope. Javier lost a good 300, and Kevin lost 400."

"Jeez."

Lanie laughed. "They shouldn't have bet against me. I won the last one too."

"Wait, there was more than one?"

Lanie's grin turned sheepish. "There were a few, actually."

"Tell me," Kate demanded.

Lanie shrank back, took a swig of her drink and then squared her shoulders. "First date. First kiss. First…well…and then Proposal."

"So how did you win that? We barely dated."

Lanie grinned. "What the boys don't know won't hurt them."

"Lanie!"

"What?" she asked, unapologetic. "You two caused us so much grief, we needed to get something out of it."

Kate scowled. "I may never talk to you again."

"Come on, Katie, time to dance. You're ruining your own party," Madison proclaimed, coming over to them, two guys in tow. "Frank here's been dying to get onto the floor with you."

"Madison, I'm the bachelorette. I'm not here to pick someone up!" Kate laughed as Maddie pulled on her arm.

"It's just one dance. He'll be a gentleman," Madison pleaded.

Then Lanie was pushing her off her stool and she was being dragged out onto the floor, handed to Frank, and left alone.

"Hey, no worries," he said as she turned to him. "Andrew, my partner, is just over there." He pointed to a handsome blond in the corner who was talking to Jenny.

Kate grinned. "Nice to meet you, Frank."

"Likewise," he grinned.

She'd find a way to get back at Lanie, someday. She watched Alexis fend off four eager suitors, Martha pass among five, Lanie get her groove on with Madison, and Jenny take copious embarrassing photos. Or maybe she wouldn't. After all, she was the one getting married. She'd make Lanie take her out for lunch. That would do.

…...

"How was the party?" Rick asked as he flopped down beside her on the bed, looking as exhausted as she felt.

"Long and busy," Kate replied, smiling as he rolled over to pin her to the bed. "And yours?"

He leaned down and kissed her, making her momentarily forget about their bachelor and bachelorette parties, Lanie's winnings, Alexis' well placed slap to that over-eager teen, and everything else. They broke apart a few minutes later.

"It was good," he murmured. "Missed you on the floor, though."

"Did you now?"

"Yeah. Gotta say, you're the best dancer I've met in my travels," he told her, leaning down to pull her earlobe between his teeth. "So sexy."

She smiled and ran a hand through his hair, arching her back as his lips trailed over her neck. "I met a nice guy, actually."

He nipped at her skin. "Oh?"

"His name's Frank. We're going out for drinks next week."

Rick pulled back. "Are you teasing me or being serious right now?"

She laughed. "The four of us are going out for drinks," she told him. "You, me, Frank and Andrew, his partner. They're getting married in December."

He grinned and leaned back down, pulling her into another kiss. "Good," he mumbled as they stopped to breath a minute later. "I don't share well."

She smiled as he moved back to her neck. "Neither do I. You didn't find yourself a younger model tonight, I assume?"

His hand moved to scoot under her shirt and up to touch her. "No," he growled as she gasped. "Just you."

"Good." She pulled him back to her for another kiss and they lost themselves in each other.

* * *

"Got everything you need?"

Kate turned and found him leaning against the door frame. "Yeah," she lifted her suitcase off the bed. "Lanie's bringing the dress."

"You know, you never did tell me what you're wearing," he grinned as she came over and he took her hand, guiding her out of the office.

"Like you don't know," she laughed, bumping his hip.

They stopped so he could help her into her jacket and pick up the handle of his own suitcase. He grinned. "Alexis! We're leaving."

There was a skidding sound from the second floor and Alexis appeared at the top of the stairs. "Okay. We'll meet you there in a few hours. Sorry I can't come now."

"We know you've got work, Sweetie," Kate smiled. "Get that done, and we'll have dinner waiting."

Alexis smiled. "I can't believe you're getting married tomorrow."

"I know," Rick grinned, pulling Kate into his side.

"Now get out of here and be mushy all the way there. And let Kate drive."

Kate laughed and threw a wink to the girl while Rick grumbled and they left the apartment. "Do I have to?" he asked as they got into the elevator.

"I haven't gotten to drive your car in a while," she shrugged. "But no, you don't_ have_ to. Just know then that I'll be driving on the honeymoon."

He considered her for a long moment as they rode down to the garage. "Deal."

She nodded and took his hand. They made their way to the Ferrari and he loaded their bags into the trunk while she got into the passenger seat and kicked off her shoes. He got in beside her and started the car, pulling out of the garage and onto the street.

She pulled down her sunglasses as the sun hit them and smiled, leaning back in her seat, the wind blowing her hair around. She glanced over and found him much like herself, relaxed and grinning.

"Lets go get married."

"Lets," she replied, taking his hand. He twirled the ring on her finger and she watched the city fall away.

They reached the house a few hours later and Kate sighed, stretching. "Good drive," she murmured as he turned the key and the car fell silent.

"Yeah," he unbuckled and leaned over to catch her in a kiss. "Now, let's get in there and unload. We have a dinner to prepare."

They'd decided to make their own rehearsal night dinner for everyone. Kate eagerly got out of the car and together they brought their bags up to the porch. Rick stopped as they got to the door.

"I have an early wedding present," he said, reaching into his pocket.

"You didn't have to…"

"Well, it's actually really a belated, 'you're moving in with us' present, so, calm down." She laughed and then grinned as he extended a key to her. "Care to do the honors?"

She nodded and inserted the key into the lock, hearing a satisfying click. She pushed the door open and they went inside. She gaped as she took in the living room, which had been covered in pictures of them, from the early days to just a few days ago in the office, when she'd perched on the side of his desk while they'd gone over evidence.

"Rick."

"Wow, Elise did a good job."

"God, this is amazing," she said, leaving her suitcase by the door and walking around. "How did you even get all of these?"

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her stomach, pulling her against his chest as they looked around the room together. "We have dedicated friends. Apparently, Lanie's been snapping pictures for years. Mother and Alexis too."

"But, some of these are from cases!"

"Espo and Ryan had a few, mainly the embarrassing ones of me," he chuckled.

Kate laughed as she spotted one of her tugging on his ear while he yelped. One of the two of them leaning against her desk, far too close together, sat on the mantle. That one must have been from their first year together; her hair was short.

"See, we disrespected boundaries even from the start," he murmured in her ear.

"You mean _you_ disrespected boundaries. I just put up with it."

"Uh-huh," he murmured, kissing her neck. "And are you just putting up with it now?"

She sighed and leaned her head to the side, letting him work his magic for a second before she raised a hand to his cheek. "Much as I'm not, we need to get cooking if we want to be ready for everyone to get here."

He nodded against her cheek and let her go, moving to the stairs to carry their stuff up to the bedroom. She watched him go and then padded through to the kitchen, where all the bowls, platters and pans were already set out. Ah, life with Richard Castle. She'd have to make sure that Paul and Elise got a huge bonus.

She moved to the refrigerator and started pulling out vegetables and platters of chicken and burgers. She left the meat to Rick and grabbed a colander, loading it up with vegetables.

"You're so efficient," Rick commented as he came in.

She looked up and smiled. "Just want to get it all done, you know? Can you check to see if the grill is ready?"

Rick went out onto the patio as she washed the vegetables and came back in, grinning. "Yep, Paul's got it all stocked. He was rather disappointed when I said he couldn't cook, you know."

Kate laughed. "That man. He never wants to let us do anything."

"It's his way," Rick smiled, coming over as she dried the vegetables. "You got this in here? I'll prep the meat and then come help with potatoes?"

She nodded and leaned in for a quick kiss before shooing him over to the meat. "Play later."

"Will we?" he asked as he removed the ceran wrap. "We never talked about the night before."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "You _bought_ my dress, Rick. I think we're doomed, regardless." He laughed. "Do you want to sleep apart?"

He was in front of her in two strides. "Never," he said, pulling her to him and meeting her for a toe-curling kiss.

When they broke apart some minutes later, hair a bit worse for wear and shirts rather scrunched, she laughed. "Okay. That's settled then. Go, meat."

He smiled and went about his task, throwing glances at her as she chopped the vegetables and put them onto skewers. "More work, Rick. Less fantasy."

"What fantasy? I'm remembering the last time we tried to do this, and trying to forget that the part of the counter you're preparing those on was used for wholly _different_ purposes that morning."

She blushed and then had to force herself to keep cooking there. They'd cleaned the counter.

"Extra strength cleanser," he murmured.

She threw a pepper at him.

…...

"Katie, this is amazing," Jim said as he walked around the living room with his daughter. "How on earth did you get all of this together?"

"Rick did it," she told him. "He asked everyone for pictures."

"Oh, right. Here's one I took," Jim laughed. "I just didn't know that it was for _this_."

"It's amazing," Kate nodded.

"You know, Katie, I've never wanted to give you up. But for him? I can't imagine someone better to give you up for," her father told her quietly as they stood in the corner and watched as their friends, her _family_, flitted in and out of the house, laughter spilling inside from the deck.

"Me either, Dad," she said softly, bringing a hand up to toy with her necklace.

"She would have absolutely adored him," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her. "Loved him like the son she'd always wanted to get from you."

Kate laughed and buried her face in his neck. "I miss her."

"I know, Sweetie. I do too."

"I wish she could be here."

Jim nodded and placed his head on top of his daughter's. "But she's somewhere, Katiebug, watching us and smiling."

Just then, Rick traipsed into the house with Alexis on his back, commanding that he bring her to the ice cream. Jim chuckled. "And she's laughing so hard because boy, did she tell you so."

Kate pulled back and wiped at her eyes. "What?"

They turned to watch the two Castles leave the house, Alexis now carrying two bags of ice cream, hitting Rick's sides as he carried her. "She told you you'd find your man someday, and he'd make you laugh and smile. He'd make you crazy and you'd probably want to kill him half the time. But he'd be the love of your life."

Kate gave a watery chuckle. "She did, didn't she?"  
Jim nodded. "She gets the last laugh every time, huh?" Kate nodded. "Now, lets get going. I think I've kept you from the party long enough.

Kate followed him out onto the porch and watched as he made his way over to Martha, Roy and Evelyn, who were sitting on the steps, watching as Jenny, Javier, Kevin and Lanie played badminton in the sand, Alexis working as referee.

She smiled as she felt arms wrap around her middle. Rick pressed a kiss to her cheek and squeezed her. "How you doin'?"

"I'm good," she replied, leaning into him. "I'm good."

"Love you," he murmured.

"Love you too."

They watched as everyone gallivanted about. "Looks like everyone's enjoying themselves."

Kate nodded. "I heard something about ice cream?"

He chuckled against her cheek and then moved to take her hand. "Your wish is my command."

…...

"Everyone asleep?"

Rick nodded and closed their door, walking over to join her on the balcony. "Well, your father and my mother are still up, but they're adults."

She laughed and turned to wrap her arms around him, laying her head on his shoulder. "You ready?"

"To make you my wife? Definitely," he said softly, running a hand through her hair. "You?"

"Yes," she replied. "Doesn't seem real, in a way."

"Right?"

"But it is."

He leaned down and captured her lips for a moment before pulling away to press his forehead to hers. "Very real."

"You sure you're ready to be stuck with me forever? I'll work late and yell and fight with you."

"And I'll annoy and badger and pester you," he countered, shrugging. "We're going to drive each other crazy."

"We are, aren't we?" she laughed.

"We're going to fight."

"Badly."

He nodded. "And we'll say things we don't mean."

"You're going to get out of the car."

"And you're going to tell me not to."

"One of us will end up getting hurt someday," she whispered.

"And the other one will feel guilty about it for a long time," he agreed.

"But, we're doing it?"

"Yes," he said, holding her tightly. "We're getting married, because I can't imagine loving anyone else."

"So we'll fight, and bicker…"

"And banter and drive each other crazy."

"But we'll do it together."

"Always," he promised.

She smiled and pulled his head down to meet her lips. "We're getting married."

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

* * *

"You look incredible," Alexis said by way of greeting.

Kate turned around and smiled, beckoning her over. "So do you." Alexis wore a teal, floor length gown that was rouched at the bodice, and then smooth and form fitting as it fell to the floor, flaring out at the bottom. "Has your dad seen you?"

Alexis nodded as Kate pulled her into her side so they could look at themselves together. "Yeah. He's somewhere between horrified and a bit teary."

"Your father," Kate laughed.

"He's so excited," Alexis whispered.

"Me too," Kate whispered back, like they were sharing a secret.

"I'm really happy that it's you, Kate," Alexis told her, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"Me too, Alexis," Kate replied. "I can't imagine a better kid to get in this deal. And you're one of the best parts of the deal, by the way."

Alexis grinned. "I can't imagine a better step-mother."

Kate wrinkled her nose. "I still don't like that term."

Alexis shrugged. "I don't know that you want me to call you mom."

Kate watched her own eyes widen. "Um…"

"I don't have to," Alexis giggled. "Man, your face!"

"Don't say stuff like that to me now. You'll make my makeup run," she replied. "Alexis, I don't even know what to say."

Alexis shrugged. "Just say 'I do' at the right moment, and we'll work it out later."

"I love you, kid," Kate said softly.

"Love you too, Kate."

They turned and Kate wrapped her arms around her, running a hand through her long red hair. "Thanks for welcoming me into your family, Alexis."

Alexis pulled back to look at her with a huge smile. "Thanks for being there."

"Always, kid. _Always_."

"Knock, knock."

They turned and spotted Martha in the doorway. "Are you ready, dear? Everyone's lining up."

Kate nodded and Alexis let go, stepping away as they both dabbed at their eyes. "See you down there, Kate."

Kate nodded and Alexis made her way out of the room, stopping to kiss her grandmother on the cheek as she went.

"You look gorgeous," Martha said as she came over.

"Thank you," Kate said quietly. "You look stunning." She did, dressed in a red gown that was both sophisticated and elegant.

"Well, thank you, kiddo, but today is your day." Martha reached over and adjusted Kate's skirt. "He's going to fall over."

"As long as I don't trip on the way there, it's okay," Kate laughed.

"Do you have your old, new, borrowed and blue?" Martha asked.

Kate nodded, reaching up to touch the ring around her neck. "Old." She held up her wrist, where the silver bracelet from Alexis sat. "New." She touched the silver flower comb Martha had given her. "Borrowed." Martha smiled. "And, well, the blue…Rick will take care of that afterward."

Martha laughed. "And enjoy it far too much, I'm sure."

"Between you and me, we're planning to hit Lanie and Javier," Kate told her conspiratorially.

"Good. They need it," Martha smiled.

"Thank you for helping me with everything, Martha," Kate said softly. "I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me."

"Katherine Beckett, you are the best thing that has ever happened to my son. I am so thrilled to call you part of my family."

Kate took the hand Martha extended and clutched it tightly. "Between you and his daughter, I'm going to be a wreck," she chuckled as she wiped away another tear.

Martha smiled. "Weddings are a day for happy tears. I plan to need to reapply before the reception." Kate smiled. "Now. Let's get you downstairs and to your father so we can make sure my son doesn't die of anticipation."

"It would be so like him," Kate laughed.

Together, they got Kate out of the bedroom and down the stairs, where her father was waiting. He watched her come down, a proud smile on his face and his eyes suspiciously shiny.

"Oh, Katie," he whispered as she stepped down the last step.

"You like it, Dad?"

"You look radiant."

"Doesn't she though?" Martha said as she leaned over and kissed Kate's cheek. "See you on the other side, dear. They're starting the processional."

Kate nodded and they watched as Martha lined up behind Alexis, Lanie and Madison. Jenny was helping Celia, Ryan's niece, with the flowers.

"You ready?" Jim asked as the music started.

"I am," Kate smiled, turning to him. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Katherine. Your mother and I are so proud of you."

"Thanks, Dad."

He smiled and kissed her hand. "Now, let's get you hitched."

They followed the women out of the house and down the porch, toward the little row of chairs in the sand. Kate took measured steps, her bare feet steady in the sand as she clutched at her father's elbow. She could see Rick as they reached the little aisle, watching her like he'd never look at anything or anyone else again. She met his eyes and didn't look away as they made their way up the aisle to the bridal march, played by a small string quartet off to the side. Behind Rick and the Minister, the ocean shimmered in the sunlight.

They reached her future husband and Jim kissed her cheek and gave her hand to Richard, who took it, bringing it to his lips, cradled in both of his.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," she replied, beaming.

"We are gathered here today…"

She barely heard George, the Minister, a friend of Rick's who'd jumped at the chance to marry him to the love of his life. She was too caught up in Rick's eyes and the feel of her hands in his to pay attention to much of it at all.

"Do you, Katherine, take Richard to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for always and forever?" That one, she heard.

"I do," she replied, taking the ring from Lanie and sliding it slowing onto Rick's finger, squeezing his hand as it slid into place.

"And do you, Richard, take Katherine to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for always and forever?"

"I do," he said, his voice strong and firm and excited. He took her ring from Ryan and gently slid it onto her finger, beaming as they squeezed each other's hands.

"Then, by the power vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

And he did, pulling her in and wrapping his arms around her. She smiled against his lips and then lost herself in the feel of him holding her and the taste of him and the fact that they were _married_. Finally, when the applause of their little group had turned to whistles and catcalls, they broke apart, grinning at each other.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi, handsome," she replied, reaching up to stroke his cheek for a moment before they turned to the crowd.

"I now present to you, Richard and Katherine Castle," George announced.

Everyone clapped and then Rick was guiding her down the aisle. They'd decided together that Kate would take his name. Or, rather, Kate had said she would like to, and he'd spun her around and called her Mrs. Castle for days afterward. She'd still be Detective Beckett at work, and in the press, but privately, no matter how antiquated it seemed, she _liked_ the idea of being a Castle. For they were her family, and she wanted to be a part of them in every way.

They made their way to the end of the chairs and then, in a fit of childishness, ran all the way to the house. They laughed as they stumbled through the sand, Kate's skirt clutched tightly in her hand and Rick slipping beside her. They made it to the porch and he dragged her into the house and through to the living room. They stood there together, holding hands and just staring at each other.

"You look incredible, Kate," he murmured. "Stunning. Radiant. Exquisite. I don't…I don't have enough adjectives."

She smiled and pulled him to her. "You look extremely handsome, Mr. Castle."

He beamed and leaned down to capture her in a kiss. "You look enchanting, Mrs. Castle."

"We're married," she whispered, running her hand through the hairs on the back of his neck as they swayed together, dancing to music that wasn't there.

"We are," he nodded.

"Can you believe it?"

"No. Not really at all," he chuckled. "But we are. I heard him. You're stuck with me now."

She smiled. "I've been stuck with you for a while. I guess I can deal."

"Guess you can deal?" he asked laughing and moving his hands to her sides. "Guess you can deal?"

She shrieked as he began to tickle her. "Rick!" she exclaimed, trying to shy away, but failing as he held tight, tickling her and nuzzling his nose into her neck. "Castle! Stop!" she laughed.

"Excuse me," Martha said from the doorway.

Rick stopped moving and they stood there, staring at each other. "My mother just walked in on us being extremely childish right after getting married, didn't she?"

"Yep."

He rested his forehead against hers. "And it's much worse than being caught having a quickie on the couch, isn't it."

Kate laughed. "Yes. And how romantic, Mr. Castle."

He chuckled and then turned to greet his mother. "Yes, Mother?"

"You're wanted for photos," she told them, smiling. "Though, you seem a little indisposed. I can tell them to wait until you stop torturing your bride."

"Ha ha ha," he grumbled, taking a step back and grabbing Kate's hand. "We're coming."

"Honestly, you two. Can't you be conventional for once?" Martha asked as Kate straightened her dress and Rick smoothed down his hair. "This is what I'll tell your children? That I walked in on their father and mother having a tickling match right after their wedding?"

Kate just laughed. "I'm innocent in this," she said.

"Yes. You're about as innocent as a murderer, Kate," Martha chuckled. "But come on, we don't want to keep the five people who weren't part of the wedding party waiting."

They followed her out, bumping each other. "I love you," he whispered as they reached the rest of the group.

"Back at you, Mr. Castle," she replied, smiling as he pulled her into his side and they posed for pictures, Martha and Jim on his right and Alexis on her left, with their friends fanning off to the sides.

…...MMMM...

"These ribbons have been mocking me all day," he muttered as they stumbled into the bedroom that night, the sounds of the party below still floating up to the balcony.

"You picked it out," she laughed as he fumbled behind her, his lips busy at her neck.

She clutched at his hair and smiled as he got the bow at her back free and began tugging the dress apart. "Finally," he groaned. "This dress is incredible. _You_ are incredible in it, but I just. Want. It. Off!" he growled as she helped him shimmy it down her body, leaving her standing in the pool of fabric in nothing put a pair of lacy white panties.

"God," he said, pulling her back to him and bringing his mouth crashing down to hers.

"You're still over dressed," she murmured against his lips while she loosened his tie and yanked it off.

He shrugged out of his jacket and together they got him out of his shirt and pants. She leaned down and gathered her dress up to lay it over the chair in the corner. As soon as she was done, he was there behind her, pulling her against his chest as he devoured her neck. She moaned and turned her head to find his lips again, clutching at his cheek.

His hands ran over her body, trailing fingers over everything and she squirmed against him, his mouth still hot over hers. "B…bed," she mumbled into the kiss.

He dragged them backward, stumbling and clutching at each other to stay standing as they kissed with abandon. He turned them as they hit the bed and she fell, dragging him down on top of her.

"My wife," he said as he pulled out of the kiss, leaning back to look at her. "You're my _wife_."

She nodded. "And you're my husband."

"God, what have we gotten ourselves into?" he asked as she ran her hands down his chest.

"I don't know, Rick. But I know something I should get into," she said, slipping her hands into his boxers.

He gasped and blinked for a moment as she stroked over his skin. "That…that was _dirty_."

She grinned and shimmed his boxers down until he kicked them off. "Gotta keep you on your toes so you don't get bored of me."

He growled and leaned down to take her breast between his lips, sucking until she arched off the bed. "Rick," she panted as he took his turn driving her crazy, dragging her panties down, only to replace them with an insistent hand that had her panting and writhing in a matter of minutes. "Rick, now."

He met her gaze and leaned down to kiss her. "Never gonna get bored of you," he promised as she cradled him above her. "Never, Katherine Castle."

"Make love to me, Rick," she whispered.

He nodded and leaned his forehead against hers as he pressed into her, pausing so they could breathe together. "Married," he murmured.

"Married," she replied, leaning up to kiss him as she squeezed his hips and he began to rock into her. "Married," she panted.

He caught her mouth in another kiss and they moved together, giving and taking in the most tender and passionate way they'd ever joined. Every move felt new and old at once and Kate found herself succumbing to the pleasant tightening quickly, as his lips teased her earlobe.

"Rick…I…" she gasped as she let go, shuddering under him.

He groaned and gave a few weak thrusts before he stilled, collapsing on top of her and burying his face into her neck. "Kate," he managed, kissing her sweaty skin. "God, Kate."

"Love…love you," she sighed as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Love you too," he mumbled.

They were quiet for a long moment, just breathing together, elating in the idea that they were _married_. She was _married_ to Richard Castle.

* * *

**I hope you liked this. I worked hard on it to get everything I could into it. What I had to pull might end up in the last part. Let me know what you think.**

**Emma**


	24. Chapter 24

**Title: What Pales in Comparison**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I sure write about them a lot. **

**Summary: Rick Castle, who kept her from freezing to death and held her hand in front of a bomb, prepared to die with her, wasn't who she was going home with. Kate's night after the end of **_**Countdown**_**.**

**Author's note: This is the end, my friends. I can't believe it's over, but I won't bore you with that now. So, without further ado, I present to you the final chapter of **_**What Pales in Comparison**_**.**

* * *

**Epilogue Part 3:**

"God, you're incredible," he murmured against her skin. "And you're mine."

She smiled. "Yours. And you're mine."

"For ever and always," he added, meeting her in a chaste kiss.

"Always," she replied as they stared into each other's eyes. Then their little tryst on the sand was interrupted by the crash of a wave.

Kate spluttered and laughed as the water receded, leaving them covered in sand and seaweed, sprawled next to each other. Rick coughed and stood just as another wave hit, sending him falling back down next to her as Kate gasped and struggled to sit up.

"Come on, we've gotta…" and another wave.

They struggled through three more before Kate managed to yank him back from the breakers. They stood there, staring at the choppy sea, and laughed.

"Did we really not notice the tide coming in?" she asked as she brushed a piece of seaweed from her shoulder.

"We were a little preoccupied," he replied, re-adjusting his shorts.

Kate blushed and then smiled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Suppose so."

"Suppose so? You were the one with the sky view," he laughed as they turned and began to walk back up the beach toward their house with the huge Caribbean Ocean view. "You should have been watching out for weather changes."

"Okay, maybe I was a little _more_ than preoccupied," she conceded. He grinned and landed a smacking kiss to her cheek.

"We should wash off and think about food," he suggested when they hit the deck.

"Just wash off," she warned as she led them into the outdoor shower and turned on the water.

"Killjoy," he muttered as he felt the water and then walked them backward into the spray.

"Killjoy?" she ran her hands down his chest while he smoothed over her back. "We just had beach sex, Richard, twice. And that's just _today_."

He grinned. "But we haven't had beach-shower sex in days."

Kate shook her head. "You're incorrigible."

"I'm insatiable," he corrected, leaning in to pull her to him and run his lips over her neck.

Kate smiled. They'd been in this haze of a honeymoon for nearly two weeks, and they were leaving tomorrow. He wasn't lying either. Insatiable barely classified it. They'd been busy everywhere. Every room in the house, every surface on the patio, the beach, the shower, the beach-shower, the hot tub, the pool—it was insanity.

"What can I say, Mrs. Castle? I've got the hots for you, and you can't lie. You've initiated things just as much as me. You _want_ me too."

"I never suggested that I didn't," she laughed as he skated his hands over her sides, tickling her. "But right now, we'll eat. And then we'll spend the last night of our honeymoon in our huge bed, kay?"

He pulled back and caught her up in a languid kiss for a moment before resting his forehead against hers. "I can't believe it's over."

"It's been wonderful, Rick."

"Do we have to go back?"

"I have a job, and…"

"And?"

"And you insist on shadowing me at it, so you kind of need to be there too."

"Shadowing you?" he pouted. "I thought I was your Partner."

Kate smiled. "Then we really need to go back. Can't have Detective and Partner out for too long. Who knows what the boys have gotten up to."

He laughed and reached around her to turn off the water just as thunder cracked above them. "And not a moment too soon. Into the house," he exclaimed, dragging her up the steps and into the foyer of the expansive house that put even their Hamptons villa to shame.

Kate shivered as they hit the air conditioning. Rick grabbed towels from the cabinet and handed one to her before wrapping another around his waist. "What do you want for dinner?"

Kate shrugged. "Something light? Do we still have the chicken from a few nights ago?"

"With garlic?" he asked in mock horror.

"Rick, I hardly think a little garlic is going to be able to quell your libido."

"Or yours," he shot back, eyebrows raised. "Don't try to pin this on me."

"Who said I was trying to pin anything on you?" she replied as she walked back toward the master bedroom. "Besides, I was kind of hoping you'd pin me, anyway."

She heard him suck in a breath as she let her towel drop and sauntered into the bedroom, knowing full well just how skin-tight her bathing suit had become.

"How much do you want dinner?" he called as she began to strip out of the tiny slip of fabric.

"I want it," she called back.

"Kate," he growled.

"Feed me, and then have your wicked way with me, Mr. Castle."

"You're cruel!" he called as she walked into the ensuite.

"And you're slow. The faster you feed me, the faster…" there was a clattering from the kitchen and she grinned.

She was sad to see the honeymoon go, but she was excited to get back to their lives, see Alexis, spend hurried mornings convincing him to let her get up. This little trip into nothing but him had been wonderful, but she loved their actual life too.

"Come on, Kate. It smells fantastic!" she heard him call out while she slipped into a teddy.

"Yeah, now you're hungry," she laughed.

* * *

"So you had an amazing time?" Lanie asked as they stared down at their first stiff on their first day back.

"It was great, yeah," Kate smiled. "Better than his trip, I'd say," she added. Their guy was sprawled on the top of an elevator, after having apparently been pushed from quite a height.

"Alexis is peeved that she didn't get to see you," Rick announced as he caught up to them. "Though, not enough to toss you down an elevator shaft. Yeesh."

"You did tell her I was sorry, didn't you? Didn't make yourself out to be the hero, staying to have breakfast with her?"

He grinned. "Course not."

"You two may be more adorable than ever," Lanie interjected.

"What's the story?" Rick asked.

"Well, Castle, you tell me," Kate countered. "Lover, spouse, angry bell boy?"

"Ooh, I'll go with bell boy."  
"Not the bell boy. Bell boy found him and promptly spewed all over the floor over there," Ryan announced as he met them. "Good try though."

"Woulda been a good story," Esposito added. "Nice to have you back, Castle."

"Nice to be back. Poker soon? We brought presents."

"Mom and Dad got us toys, bro," Esposito grinned. "You owe me five."

"Yeah, yeah," Ryan grumbled.

"You bet on whether or not we'd bring you things?" Kate exclaimed. "That's horrible."

"Be glad they didn't bet on whether or not you're already pregnant," Lanie told her. "Had to stop them."

"Who says I'm not?" Kate asked. Rick spit out his coffee, Ryan gaped, Esposito gasped, and Lanie gave her a high five. "Man, you guys are so easy."

"Cruel, cruel woman," Rick said as he wiped his mouth. "Honestly. I was drinking."

"Serves you all right," Lanie shrugged. "Now, down to business. And go get a mop, Writer Boy. You're contaminating my crime scene."

* * *

"Kate?"

"What's up, Lex?" Kate asked, looking over the edge of the galley copy of _Heat Rises_ she was reading.

"Could you read something for me?" she asked, shifting from foot to foot.

"You Castles, always asking me to read things," Kate replied, marking her place and shoving Rick's book to the coffee table.

"I can come back…"

"I'm teasing," Kate smiled, sitting up and patting the space next to her on the couch. "What do you need me to look over?"

"My college essay," Alexis murmured, plopping down next to her.

Kate smiled as the girl adjusted her big tee shirt and curled her toes into the ends of her sweats. Alexis had been perfecting her essays for weeks, and she was about ready to send everything out, but today was her last day of heavy writing. She was comfy and crazed and Kate constantly wanted to just give her a hug, but had refrained, letting her deal in her own way.

"I'd be happy to," she said, taking the paper Alexis extended to her.

She smiled as Alexis curled up next to her and hugged her knees to her chest. Kate laid a hand on her knee and then turned to the paper in her hand.

_I'd make a very good serial killer. My father has written some of the best books on the subject. I know how to impersonate someone, take over her life, steal her social security number without even getting the card, and then kill her cleanly and quietly so that I don't have to worry about a double popping up. I know who to go to for the right surgeries and who to avoid when talking to law enforcement. I know all of the weapons and escape tricks and hideouts. I'd be the perfect criminal._

_ I'd also make an excellent Detective. My stepmother has a few books written about that too. I know how to defend myself against attack. I know how to fire a gun. I know how to look at the bigger picture while still looking for the smallest detail. I know who to talk to in law enforcement. I know where holding and interrogation and forensics are. I know what's done in all of those departments. I've even toured a number of them, frequently. I'd be the perfect criminal catcher._

_ But I think I'd rather be something that doesn't necessarily involve guns and blood and death. I'm surrounded by it enough as it is, what with Richard Castle for a father, and his wife, muse, and partner, Detective Kate Beckett for a stepmother. I'll leave the criminal catching and describing to them. _

_ I want to study science, or medicine, or law. I want to make a difference and help people, like both of my parents. And with the skills they've given me, I think I'll be great at whatever I want to do. Goodness knows I've got contacts everywhere. But I want to go to school somewhere that will let me make my own contacts and my own connections to the world. I love my parents. I love their jobs. But I'm ready to spread my own wings and find my weapon of choice, be it the pen, like my father, the gun, like my stepmother, or the scalpel, like my Aunt Lanie, the medical examiner. _

_ I might end up right there with them, solving crimes and catching bad guys, but who knows? Maybe I'll be in the Governor's office helping them get funding instead. I want to get the best education I can so that I can make them proud and be proud of myself for choosing my own path. I will work harder than anyone and will never fail to have people there to support me, especially if I can stay here in Manhattan. Perhaps I could do an expose for the school paper on the lives of some of the NYPD's lesser-known Detectives. I have a few Uncles that would jump at the chance._

_ So, please consider me, Alexis Castle, for the Columbia University class of 2015. I promise not to murder or convict any of your students._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Alexis Castle. _

Kate blinked. "Columbia?" she asked. Alexis nodded. "Not Stanford?"

"I just…it's got some of the best programs, and it's here and I…" she met Kate's eyes. "I'm not quite ready to leave all together, you know?"

Kate smiled and slipped the letter onto the table before extending her arms so that she could wrap Alexis in a hug. "Have you told your dad?"

Alexis shook her head. "Not yet."

"He's gonna be ecstatic."

"You think?"

Kate laughed. "I know. And the letter? Lex, it's great."

"Really?"

"I'd accept you."

"It's not too bold?"

Kate pulled back. "Well, it certainly pulls you in right at the beginning."

"Yeah?"

"You look so unsure about it. I think it's wonderful."

"Thank you."

"You okay?"

Alexis shrugged and snuggled down on the couch. "It's a bit overwhelming."

Kate smiled and settled next to her. "That's understandable."

"But, once I send this off, that's the last of them."

"I'm excited for you."

"Thanks."

"Wanna watch some TV?"

"Don't you need to finish Dad's manuscript?"

Kate bumped her shoulder. "Kid beats Dad any day."

Alexis grinned. "Thanks Kate."

"Anything, Alexis."

* * *

"Rick?"

"Oh, Kate. Hi, honey."

"What're you doing?" she asked, walking into the dark office.

"Just…just thinking."

Kate wandered around his desk and came to stand in front of him. He was just sitting there, holding a picture of Alexis in his lap. "You miss her."

"It's stupid. She's about ten minutes away by taxi."

"It's not here, though," Kate said, bending down to pick the photo out of his hands. She smiled at the image of Alexis on her father's shoulders, pointing at something in the distance. "It's okay to miss her."

He looked up at her. "My baby's at college."

"I know." She reached out and smoothed a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry I didn't come in today."

Kate shrugged and then smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down onto his lap. "You needed a day. We all do sometimes."

"Did I miss anything?"

"Nothing, actually. No murders today."

"That's good," he murmured as he buried his face in her hair.

"How can I help?"

"I'll get over myself," he replied. "Don't worry 'bout me."

"Oh, come now. That's unfair. You worry about me constantly."

"But you've got real things—guns and bad guys and murder. This, this will pass. She'll come over for dinner on Friday anyway."

Kate kissed his temple. "You know, I don't think this is silly at all."

"You don't?"

"That girl was your whole world for eighteen years, Rick. You get to have a bit of the empty-nest syndrome."

"But my nest isn't empty," he mumbled. "You're here."

"That I am, Mr. Castle."

They were quiet for a few minutes. "Can you believe that it's almost been a year since we got married?" he asked.

Kate laughed. "No. Feels so much longer."

"Hey," he pulled his head up. "I feel like I should be insulted somehow."

Kate just smiled and leaned in to press her lips to his. "I'm kidding."

"Don't tease me," he grumbled, placing kisses all over her cheeks. "I'm sad."

"So, why don't you let me cheer you up?" she suggested.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked.

"Well, we've been talking for a while about maybe adding to this family, you remember?"

He nodded and narrowed his eyes. "What are you getting at?"

She shook her head. "Not that. We're not adding to it yet, at least, not at the moment."

She saw him take a breath of relief and then a frown flitted across his face. She'd been disappointed when she'd taken the test earlier in the week too. "But, I thought, maybe, a good way to adjust to being kid-less, would be to start actively trying not to be kid-less."

He blinked for a moment. "You want to try for a baby?"

"I do."

"Now?"

"Well, if you're not interested," she started to get up, only to be forcibly yanked back. She giggled as Rick growled and latched onto her neck, sucking gently for a minute before he lifted his head.

"You want to make 'little Castle babies' with me, now, tonight?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"Yes," he repeated, leaning in to pull her into a kiss. "God, yes," he said against her lips.

* * *

"You're up early," Alexis observed as Kate quietly closed the door. She jumped and spun around to find Alexis leaning against the counter. "You'd think you'd have less of a startle reflex, doing what you do, you know."

"Good morning to you too. So good to see you, Lex," Kate replied as she hung up her jacket. "When did you get back?"

"Late last night. You guys were asleep."

"You could have woken us," Kate told her as she came over to the counter.

"I saw you yesterday when I dropped everything off."

"Still. Your Dad's gonna be sad that he missed welcoming you home, officially, for Christmas."

Alexis just laughed. "Coffee?"

"Um, no. Thanks."

Alexis raised an eyebrow and then eyed the bag Kate was holding behind her back. "No coffee. Early morning outing. Scared that I was here. What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

"For a Detective, you suck at lying, Kate."

Kate sighed. "Okay." She beckoned Alexis over. "Um…we told you that we were trying for a baby."

"Yes. Does this mean?"

"I don't know. It might. I'm gonna go take it…um, keep your Dad busy if he gets up?"

Alexis squealed and threw her arms around Kate. "I'm so excited!" she whispered.

Kate smiled and gave her a squeeze before pulling back. "Don't get excited too fast. Might be a false alarm again."

Alexis nodded and then shooed her out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Kate opened the bathroom door and stepped inside, taking a deep breath. She quickly opened the box and read the directions. Then she peed on the little stick. For all of modern medicine, she thought they could have come up with a less tedious and disgusting method of self-pregnancy testing, but alas, they hadn't.

She set the timer on her phone and then sat nervously on the edge of the tub. She and Rick had done this together the last time, and his disappointment had almost been harder to take than her own. He'd been great, said all the right stuff. But she didn't want to get his hopes up again unless there was something to hope for.

Her phone beeped and Kate sat there. She balled her hands into fists and then stood and took the few steps from the tub to the counter. She looked down at the stick and felt a smile blossom across her face. Little blue plus sign. Pregnant. Baby.

The steely Detective didn't care that she was giggling, jumping, squealing, alone in the upstairs bathroom. She was pregnant. They were having a baby. Who the hell cared how ridiculous she looked?

She grabbed the test, shoved it in the little plastic bag she'd brought upstairs, and yanked the door open. She sped down the stairs and then skidded to a halt as she came into the kitchen. Rick and Alexis were engaged in an animated discussion at the counter, Rick wearing a robe and clutching a cup of coffee.

"Hey, honey. Look who's home!" he said as he spotted her. "Kate?"

Alexis took one look at her, squealed, and ran around the counter to slam into her in a fierce hug. "Yes? Is it a yes?"

"Yes," Kate whispered as she hugged the girl close. "It's a yes."

"What am I missing?" Rick asked, setting his cup down and walking over to them. "Did you get her a pony?"

Alexis released her and stepped back. "No, no," she told her father as he looked between Kate and his daughter. "But maybe she'll do that for…well…you tell him."

Rick looked confused and met Kate's eyes. "Tell me what?"

Kate just smiled and extended the baggie for him to take. He took it and looked down at it for a long moment. "This is…"

"Little blue plus sign," she whispered.

He looked up at her. "We're pregnant? You're pregnant?" She nodded. He let out a whoop and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off her feet. "We're pregnant!"

Kate laughed and held on tight as he spun them around, laughing. "We're pregnant," she whispered as he set her down.

He beamed and kissed her passionately. Perhaps too passionately.

"Hey, guys. First kid is still here. Being scarred. No, honestly. God, get a room!"

Kate pushed Rick away and laughed, looking over at Alexis, who was comically shielding her eyes. "Sorry, Lex."

"I'm not sorry, but I respect your disgust," Rick added.

"Dad!"

"Yeah, Dad!"

"You called me Dad," he said, turning back to her.

"Well, you're her Dad," Kate shrugged, grinning.

"But you'll have to call me Dad all the time now."

"And I was planning on going back to Castle all the time. What a pity," she replied.

He laughed and then extended his arm for Alexis. "Get in here, Big Sis."

Alexis grinned and joined them in the hug. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thank you, Alexis," Kate whispered, kissing her temple. "We're happy to have you here."

"Yeah, especially since you go to school in New York. We can ask you to babysit," Rick told her.

"Dad."

"Yeah, Dad."

* * *

"Kate, you can't."

"Castle, I'm going to send you home if you don't stop it."

Rick glared at her and Kate felt a twinge of guilt in her gut. "You are carrying our child, Kate. You can't just run straight into this."

"I'll be wearing a vest," she replied, moving around him to leave the break room.

"That doesn't even fit right," he countered, scooting around her to block her way out of the room.

"Castle."

"I will go to Montgomery if I have to, Kate. You can't be part of this take down. It's too dangerous."

"You do not get to tell me what I can and cannot do, Richard Castle," she hissed.

"Just stop for a minute, _a minute_, Kate. If you get shot, think about the fact that not only are you dead, but your child is dead. If you don't care about what it would do to me, or Alexis, or your father, or my mother, at least think about the baby. Please," he caught her hand. "Kate, please."

She met his gaze and the baby kicked. She took a breath. Shit. Holy shit. "Rick, I…" Tears filled her eyes. Had she really been about to go into a loaded warehouse? "I…"

His gaze softened and he reached for her. "I know."

"I'm…"

"Don't be sorry. Just promise you won't go with them," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I just wanted…"

"I know. I know, Katie, _I know_. I see it too."

"If it's…"

"If it really is the hit for your mother's killer, we'll take him down. And you can go crazy on him interrogation. I'll be right there with you."

"I just got…"

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

He just kissed her cheek. "You're amazing, Katherine Castle. All of us go under sometimes."

"But I went under with our child there, and I was about to take her into the middle of a shoot out."

"But you're not going to."

"No, I'm not."

"Then we're okay, Kate."

She nodded against his shoulder. "I have to…"

"Go tell Montgomery. I'll stay here in the Precinct with you, all night if we have to, okay?"

She nodded and stepped back. "I don't deserve you, Richard."

He shook his head. "Oh, Kate. It's the other way around. But we can have _that_ fight another time," he smiled. "Go talk to Roy."

She smiled and he stepped aside so that she could leave the break room. She paused and kissed his cheek before wiping her eyes and striding away.

"Kate?"

She turned. "Yes?"

"She?"

Kate just smiled. "I have a feeling."

* * *

Kate sank down onto the bed and curled into a ball. She wrapped her arms around her swollen stomach and buried her face into the pillow, willing the tears away. But they didn't stop. Sobs wracked her body and she let them, feeling the baby kicking against her palm.

"Hey, little girl," she whispered. "Mommy's okay. I promise."

"Kate?"

She looked over at the door and offered Rick a very weak smile. "Hi."

He came over, placing a glass of water on the bedside table as he approached. He sank to his knees and leaned on the bed, running a hand over her hair. "How you doin'?"

"I've been better," she offered.

He chuckled. "Yeah."

"But, we got him."

He took the hand she extended and clutched it in his own. "Yeah, we did. You were amazing in there, you know?"

She smiled. "Thanks."

"Like, more than you usually are. It was scary, actually."

"Just hope you never make me that angry," she joked.

He leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I'll try." He ran his other hand over her bump and she twined their fingers together there, letting him feel the kicking. "Hey, baby. Your Mommy's had a very rough week. Cool it with the kicking, would you?"

Kate shook her head. "I like it."

"You like it?"

"Reminds me that I'm here, you know?"

He gave her a very sad smile. "I do. I'm so sorry, Kate."

"Me too. I wish she could be here. I'm so glad we got him. Not just for us, for me, for her, but for the city, you know? I just can't believe…"

"Me either."

"I know he was your friend," she whispered.

"He hid a lot of sins behind that smile," Rick replied. "But no man who did what has is anyone I'll ever call a friend, Kate."

"I just don't understand it. How could he look you in the eye? How could he look me in the eye?"

"He was so involved before he met you, or me…I think Bob…Kate, he was psychotic. He put people away—he had people killed to cover up a crime he used to his advantage."

She nodded. "It's so stupid."

"Money makes people do crazy things."

"He had my mother killed so he could keep his money and run the city. And he did good things for the city too," she said quietly. "I just…I get murder. You know? I _get_ it. But this…this just…"

"It's different," he nodded.

They stayed there for a long time, just feeling their daughter—she was convinced—kicking beneath their hands.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked some thirty minutes later.

"Just come up here?" she replied, her voice small.

He leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss before he stood and walked to the other side of the bed. He snuggled up to her and wrapped an arm over her stomach and under her head.

"I love you, Katherine."

"I love you too," she whispered.

"I'm so proud of you."

She smiled and held his arm tightly as the tears began to fall again. "Thank you."

"She's proud of you too, you know."

They lay there together as she wept, his arm strong and sure around her waist, her baby moving steadily in her womb.

"A girl, huh?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Good," he replied. "She'll look just like you."

"You think so, huh?"

"I'm buying a shotgun tomorrow."

"What?" she giggled, the sound foreign on her lips after the hell of the past week.

"She's going to be stunning, and I don't think a bat will be enough to keep them at bay. Not with you for a mother."

"How can you possibly be this charming right now?"

* * *

"Did you guys pick a name?" Alexis asked as she flopped down on the bed between them.

"We better have," Rick replied. "This one's going to pop any day now."

"Thanks, Sweetie. I love it when you make this process sound romantic," Kate grumbled.

"Anytime, babe," he grinned as he turned back to the manuscript he was editing in his lap.

"So?" Alexis asked, looking up at Kate from her spot between their legs.

"Rachel Johanna Castle," Kate replied.

Alexis grinned. "I love it."

"You do?" Rick asked, obviously paying less attention to his work than his family.

"It's perfect. Are we calling her Rache?"

"Ray, I think," Kate replied. "But we'll see when she gets here."

"How are you feeling?" Alexis asked.

"Tired," Kate laughed. "But otherwise, fine. Being on bed rest is boring, but it's not terrible."

"Especially when it's just for a few weeks," Rick added. "We've watched a lot of movies. And missed you."

"Dad, I'm at school like ten minutes away."

"Still," he shrugged, turning back to the book.

"You're doing a horrible job of focusing, you realize," Kate told him.

"Don't know what you're talking about."

She shook her head and looked down at Alexis. "Since you're here, could you help me to the bathroom?"

"Sure thing," Alexis grinned, hopping off the bed and coming around to help Kate stand up.

Kate groaned as her back twinged while she stood. "You better come out soon, Ray."

She patted Alexis' hand and waddled her way into the bathroom, listening as Rick engaged Alexis in conversation. Her ridiculous husband just couldn't concentrate at all. Kate sat down and felt her back twinge again. Then there was a rush of fluid that wasn't normal.

"Uh, guys," she called.

"No way, Yoda's better."

"Guys!"

"Come on, you can't tell me Yoda was a better mentor than Gandalf."

"Hey! Having a baby in here!" Kate yelled.

There was silence, then a squeal, a bang, a groan, and then the door opened on Rick's disheveled person. "You're….you're…" he panted, Alexis dancing excitedly behind him.

"On the toilet and my water just broke. Yes," Kate replied, laughing. "Put clothes on, get the bag, and come get me. Alexis, can you call a car?"

They nodded and Kate cleaned herself up, listening as they banged around the room. She shook her head and stood, grimacing at the pain, before she hobbled out of the bathroom.

"Hey, I was just coming to get you," he scolded, walking over to take her hands. "Are you good with what you've got on?" he asked, looking at her sweats and baggy tee shirt.

"They're gonna get me in a gown, so it doesn't matter," Kate replied. "Let's go have a baby."

He grinned and took her face in his hands, pressing a kiss to her lips. "Let's go have a baby."

* * *

"Oh, God!" Kate screamed.

"You're doing beautifully, Kate. Just a few more pushes," Dr. Epstein told her. "Twenty seconds, okay?"

"You're amazing, Kate," Rick whispered against her ear. He'd climbed up to sit behind her, wrapping himself around her body as soon as they'd said he could. "So close, baby. So close."

"I want her out," Kate groaned as the contraction hit. "I just. Want. Her. Out!"

"Okay, Kate. I need you to push as hard as you can. I can see her head."

"You can do this," Rick told her. "Breathe, honey."

Kate screamed and groaned, because God, it _hurt_. More than anything ever had, this freaking hurt. "I…Make it stop!"

"Just one more set, Kate. She's almost out."

"Nearly there," Rick told her. "I'm so proud of you."

"You…" Kate panted as she felt the next contraction coming on. "You get…the…next…one," she screeched.

She pushed and screamed but then, all of a sudden, there was a second wail piercing through. Everything stopped but for the sight of the little squirming, slightly disgusting, intensely beautiful sight that was their daughter.

"Congratulations," Dr. Epstein smiled. "You have a beautiful, healthy little girl."

"Oh," Kate sighed as the doctor held her up.

"Dad, would you like to cut the cord?"

Rick nodded and then bent himself at the most absurd angle to take the medical scissors and cut the umbilical cord. They watched as the doctor handed the baby to her assistant to clean her off. Kate followed every movement with her eyes while she did the afterbirth, Rick pressing a constant string of kisses to her temple and cheek and neck.

"Our daughter. Did you see her? She's perfect," he whispered as Kate collapsed against him.

"Our daughter," Kate panted, turning her head to meet him in a kiss. "We have a daughter."

"Thank you," he replied as they pulled apart. "Thank you. You're so amazing, Katherine. You were incredible."

"I…I love you," she managed.

He chuckled. "Just rest, love. Just rest."

Kate nodded and laid her head on his shoulder, still following the baby, who was now a little bundle of blankets, with her eyes. After what seemed an eternity, one of the orderlies brought her over.

"Here you go, Mom," she smiled.

Kate sat up against Rick, who wrapped his arms around her as Kate took Rachel from the nurse.

"Hi, baby. Oh, hi Rachel," she whispered, looking down at her _daughter_. "You're so beautiful, baby girl."

Rick smiled against her cheek. "Hi, gorgeous. I'm Daddy, and this is Mommy. We're so happy to see you."

"She's perfect," Kate murmured. "Absolutely perfect, aren't you?"

Rachel blinked up at them and opened her mouth in a tiny yawn.

"That might just be the cutest thing I've ever seen," said Rick. "Oh, I'm such a goner."

Kate laughed. "You are. But so am I. Oh, God, Rachel, you're so perfect."

"That's gonna be what we call her for a while, isn't it?"

"It'll cause psychological damage," Kate replied. "Sets a precedent."

"I write murder mysteries and you catch psychopaths. She's doomed anyway," Rick chuckled.

"Oh, no she's not, are you, sweetie? You're gonna be normal."

"Yeah, right," Rick scoffed.

"I can't whack you; I'm holding the baby," Kate mumbled. "But remind me to later?"

Dr. Epstein came over. "She's perfect," she told them. "No problems that we've seen. You've got a healthy one there."

"Thank you," Rick replied. Kate was too busy staring at the little baby.

"But, I have to take her to get everything all set, and they need to wheel you over to recovery, okay Mom?"

Kate wanted to shake her head and say 'no,' like a petulant child. But, reluctantly, she gave her baby over and watched as she was taken out of the room.

"We'll get her back."

"I know," Kate replied quickly.

Rick kissed her cheek and then slipped out from behind her. "I need to go tell our impatient visitors that we have a daughter. Will you be okay?" he asked as he helped her settle back into the pillows.

Kate nodded and felt her eyes slip shut. "You'll bring her back when you come?"

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I promise. Rest, Mommy. I'm so proud of you."

She smiled even as she felt the pull of sleep taking her under.

* * *

"She's so cute."

"Are you done, or will I need to forcibly remove her from your grasp when Kate wakes up?"

"Watch it, Son. I'm the grandfather. I have priority."

"Mother trumps Grandfather, Dad," Kate mumbled as she opened her eyes.

Her entire family was sitting around her new room. Alexis was perched on the side of Jim's chair, her arm around the older man as they looked down at the sleeping baby. Rick was seated in a chair to Kate's right and Martha was watching everything from the little couch on the far side of the room.

Rick stood as Kate struggled to sit up and helped her prop up in the bed. "Gimme my baby."

"But I'm not done…"

"Now."

Rick laughed and took Rachel from Jim, who frowned, but laughed as Kate's eyes lit up at the sight of her baby.

She took the little bundle from Rick. "Hi, baby. Did you miss me, huh?"

Rick sat down next to her and Kate scooted over so that they could sit side by side on the little bed. "You missed Lanie and the boys. They had to get back to the station, but they sent you this," he told her, holding his phone up for her to see.

"Hi Mom!" the boys chorused as Lanie held Rachel up for the camera. "We love our little sis!"

"And Aunt Lanie loves you too," Lanie added.

Kate laughed. "That's disgustingly adorable."

"Isn't it?" Rick grinned. "They didn't want to give her back. Esposito especially."

"Does this mean we can make baby jokes with Lanie now?" Alexis asked.

"Oh, definitely," Kate grinned.

"She's absolutely precious, Kate," Martha added. "I don't blame him."

"Me either, Katiebug," Jim agreed.

"Thanks, guys," Kate replied, looking down at her daughter. "You are precious, aren't you?"

"Katherine Beckett, queen of baby talk," Rick laughed.

Kate nudged him. "Careful, Daddy, or you'll be sleeping on the couch."

"Adorable queen of baby talk?"

"Hmm," she replied.

Rachel began to squirm and then she opened her tiny mouth and the loudest cry came out.

"Sounds like someone's hungry," Jim observed. "We'll leave you guys be. Come on, carrot top, let's get some grub."

"Who are you calling carrot top?" Martha asked as the three of them trooped out.

Rick laughed. "Do you need me to call the nurse?" he asked as Kate fumbled with her gown.

"I think I got it from class," Kate replied, lifting Rachel up. She latched on and Kate watched her nurse. "That feels so strange," she murmured.

"I'd bet," Rick replied, running a hand over her back and leaning in to kiss her cheek. "It's amazing. You're amazing."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it's true! You just produced a person, Kate. That's awesome."

She laughed. "Only you, Rick."

"What? You don't think it's amazing?"

Kate looked down at the little girl that they'd made and smiled. "No, you're right. It's awesome."

"Damn straight," he murmured, his lips against her temple. "So cool."

* * *

"Daddy!"

Kate smiled as she heard the shrieks of her daughter, giggling and laughing all the way down the beach. Kate unholstered her gun and walked over to the safe in the study, opening it and placing the gun, her badge, her watch and her necklace inside before closing it and standing. She grinned as she shrugged out of her pants and shirt. Rick would love finding them later, and it gave her a very twisted thrill to know that she'd sent a man to jail wearing Rick's favorite bikini under her plain clothes.

She grabbed her shades off the counter as she came back through and then made her way down the beach, smiling as the sun hit her skin and she breathed in the salty tang of the ocean. There in the breakers, splashing each other, were her husband and daughter. Kate watched as Rick grabbed Ray around the waist, lifted her above his head, and tossed her, shrieking, into the surf. Kate took off at a run.

"Daddy!" Ray protested as she came up. "That's not fair! I can't throw you!"

"All's fair in love and war, Munchkin!" Rick growled as he lunged for her again, only to fall sideways in the water as Kate hit him, toppling them both.

"Mommy!"

Kate came up and grinned at her daughter, who was valiantly trying to swim to her as fast as she could. "Hey baby girl!" she laughed as they met and Ray hugged her, grabbing hold as Kate stood solidly in the water.

"You're here!" Ray exclaimed, messy curls flinging water at Rick, who approached them, wiping his own hair out of his eyes.

"Hey, gorgeous," he greeted, leaning over their daughter to meet her in a kiss.

"Hey, yourself."

"Close the case?"

"We did," she smiled.

"It took you forever," Ray interjected.

"I know," Kate sighed, lifting her up to hold her against her hip. "Sorry 'bout that."

"It's okay. You're here now. And you saved me from the Daddy monster!"

"I did, didn't I?" Kate grinned.

"He was tossing me."

"You don't like being tossed?" Kate asked with fake horror.

"No, no, I do," Ray protested. "But he caught me by surprise."

"Oh, I see."

"But that's okay. You caught him too!"

"That she did, Munchkin," he laughed. "Well done," he added, bowing to Kate.

"Thank you," she grinned. "Now, did we decide against tossing, or are you working up to pleading with us?"

"Please?" Ray asked, eyes bright. "You promised."

"That I did. You got that arm, Daddy?"

Rick nodded and together they tossed Ray into the waves. She squealed and then popped back up after hitting the water. "Again! Again!"

They spent happy hours playing in the water, throwing Ray around and tackling each other until the sun started to set against the horizon. They made their way back to the blankets and Kate wiped Ray down and then smiled as Rick picked her up and carried her back, her little head lolling tiredly against his shoulder while he told her about the dragon Mommy had slayed earlier that day.

Kate gathered their things and walked back behind her husband and daughter, smiling as she looked up and spotted the first star of dusk. Rick glanced back at her and beamed. She returned his gaze and laid everything out on the patio before following them through the house and up to Ray's room.

"Do you wanna nap until dinnertime, Ray?" Rick whispered as he set her down.

She nodded and clambered up on top of her comforter, curling up in a little ball. Kate laughed and spread a towel out on top of her.

"We'll come and get you when it's ready, okay Sweetie?"

"Kay, Mommy. Glad you're here. Missed you," she mumbled.

Kate leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I missed you too, Princess. See you at dinner."

She nodded and fell asleep, mouth open and curls sprawling out behind her. Rick took her hand and together they left the room, padding quietly down the hall and into their own bedroom.

"She'll be up forever tonight," he murmured as he closed the door and reached for her.

"We'll make it," Kate laughed as he hugged her close.

"We'll give her to Lex for the afternoon tomorrow. She's been dying to see her, and then I can have _you _all to myself."

"Missed me, Mr. Castle?"

"Always," he mumbled, kissing her neck, her jaw, her cheek and finally her lips.

She met his eyes as they pulled apart. "I missed you too."

"Hard close?"

She shrugged. "No harder or easier than normal. But the loft was quiet without you guys, and the bed was cold."

"Here too," he replied.

"But, I'm here now," she smiled.

He grinned. "That you are. Never alone."

"Never alone," she nodded. "Now, we have an hour, Mr. Castle. Do you want to spend thirty minutes of it in a steamy, hot, shower?"

His gaze turned wolfish and he tugged her closer. "Oh, Mrs. Castle. Nothing would make me happier."

Kate smiled and led him back and into the bathroom by the tips of her fingers. He turned on the shower and they stripped each other, stepping clumsily into the steam as they kissed and touched, sighed and moaned.

She thought back to that night, years ago, when she'd collapsed in her own shower, cold and alone, weeping for the what-ifs of a terrifying night. The timer and the freezer, the radiation and the terror of those days were far behind them now. Now it was just the feel of him and the wall and the play of his hands over her body that held her up. A life in constant contrast, she looked back on those earlier years as a pale imitation of the life they had now. And as he moved and she gasped and the world fell away, she couldn't imagine a better place to be.

"Nothing like a quickie to say, 'welcome home,' huh?" he mumbled into her neck some minutes later.

Kate laughed and squeezed the legs she had wrapped around his hips. "So romantic, Honey."

He pulled back and grinned at her as she played with the hairs on the back of his neck. "You wouldn't have me any other way."

"No, I guess I wouldn't."

"Happy to have you home, Mrs. Castle."

She smiled and met him in a kiss. "There's nowhere I'd rather be."

-The End-

* * *

**Author's Note II: Well, that's it. Thank you all for sticking with this story and supporting it as it's grown and morphed and become what it is. I have had so much fun writing it, and I hope that you've enjoyed the ride as much as I have.**

**A few notes: Obviously, I changed the conclusion of the Johanna case. I don't think for a second that Bob the Mayor will end up being the Canon culprit, but it worked for the story. Also, since this is my story, Roy is innocent. I mean, come on, why mar fluff with that sad Canon truth?**

**I'm starting another story, **_**Of Finding Innocence**_**, which is currently on its third chapter, and will take the writing-time-place of **_**What Pales**_**. It's AU and different, but I'm having a blast with it. I hope you'll join me on that ride.**

**Otherwise, I have nothing left to say but thank you. Let me know what you thought, and keep being the amazing, extraordinary group of people that you are. **

**I love you guys.**

**Emma**


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